I'm getting really sick of RSVPs...

And our RSVP date isn't for 2.5 weeks!

But for real... I've got one bridesmaid telling me she may bring two guests, but isn't sure. Finally I said something along the lines of I don't know if both of them would be able to come, if it was just one then i would be more understanding but if the two of them would be ok not coming.

HELLO, I ONLY INVITED YOU!!!!

You don't just TELL me you're bringing a guest! And it took a while for her to even tell me WHY. If she'd just said "Hey, these two people will be tag-team driving me back because I can't drive and need a way to get to the wedding, can they come to the wedding or is that not ok?" then that's different! And apparently recently she's gotten into the bad habit of telling people stuff that she really needs to ask permission for to begin with, like bringing these two people to a margarita night after the wedding, a night that another roommate's mom is doing for her daughter's CLOSE FRIENDS after the wedding (see also: mom is doing it for that bridesmaid, the roommate - her daughter and also a bridesmaid-, another roommate/bridesmaid, and an usher/close friend) AND she said something along the lines of "We could just leave afterward" - which implies drunk driving, AND which makes that friend AND her mom liable, on top of the drunk driving issue.

Furthermore, I don't know one of your "guests," the one who doesn't know ANYBODY coming to the wedding except like two people, I'm not too fond of her anyway from what I have heard (and I've heard a lot, especially because I LIVE with this bridesmaid and they're ALWAYS on the phone - and this girl is LOUD on the phone, so I hear it all). And for all i know this girl might decide to bring her weed with her! Best part is that I'm not joking...
And I'm not too fond of your other "guest," because even though she's nice, she brings too much drama to the damn bedroom we share! I'm sorry, but a 10'x10' bedroom is barely big enough for the both of us WITHOUT you moving in someone else's SHIT "because her parents might take it" - HOW OLD IS SHE???? AND I'M SICK OF HER CRYING EVERY TIME!

Our program attendant said she might bring her mom as a guest. Ok, I'm more understanding with this one, because while I didn't give her a "guest" option (we only gave 2 people a "guest" option, because one practically demanded it and the other wouldn't know many people), she also doesn't know the area very well, and would probably be more comfortable navigating the area with her mom there.
I told her that if it comes down to it then she can always stay the night before the wedding at our apartment and we could figure it out from there. Which means she has the option of not bringing her mom and hot having to stay alone.


(This next girl I'm not mad at, just frustrated that we're trying to plan things and we don't really know what to plan)
Now I've got another bridesmaid who I talked about before who may have to bring her mom and her mom's friend with her - but she told me they probably weren't attending the wedding. They'd just be coming because she's never even been to this state before, let alone this far north.
Ok, whatever. I can understand that, because she's a couple months older than me (she'll be 21 a couple weeks before the wedding), and while my dad probably wouldn't demand to come with me if I was in a situation like this, he would be on the phone with me every morning, every night, checking in and seeing how things are going.
THEN she told me that instead she was bringing a friend (which I'd said ok to AGES ago) so she and the friend were driving up.

NOW she's telling me that her mom has decided they're flying, AND her mom and her mom's friend may come - and they "probably" aren't coming to the wedding.
I know it's not her fault, but I can't help her find a hotel to stay in if they don't know exactly when they'll be coming.

Ok, LOOK NOW. I only invited one person. ONE. If there's only one name on the invitation, then that's the only person invited!!!!!
Inviting ONE doesn't mean everybody can come.
And "probably" doesn't tell me anything. Probably means there's still a chance that we're paying for extra people.

By "we," I mean my dad, because he said he'd take care of the food. But I promised my dad that I would do everything I can to keep the costs down.
Yeah, $13/person isn't the end of the world, but when you get to about 200 people coming, and most of it's family, then YES, that's a LOT of money!
We don't have all the space in the world! Not everybody can show up just because they feel like it!

GIVE ME AN ANSWER AND BE DONE WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!

Let me clarify: I'm not against people bringing guests. If they want one that badly then they can at least ASK me nicely (and the last bridesmaid I mentioned has done that), but I'm so sick of people saying they don't know if they'll be bringing guests.
Money doesn't grow on trees! (actually, isn't it made of cotton or something???)

THEN you get the people with their "I didn't get my invite yet!"
I'm sorry, but WHAT? Ok, if you didn't get your invite yet, and you said this to me, and I haven't said anything about "Oh, maybe it got lost in the mail" or "Sorry, I haven't gotten to it yet," then chances are YOU'RE NOT INVITED!
ESPECIALLY because the person that had the nerve to say this to me is a person that gave me her address "for her invite," and I TOLD her that based on space because of the number of family being invited, I didn't know whether or not I would be able to invite her.
Which is true, but also having her there would just be too much damn drama. I had enough of it when I lived with her for a semester of school, and then whenever she stopped going to school but still came crying about every little detail. My roommates and I all blocked seeing her Facebook statuses because they were all manic-depressive with either "Loving my life" or "WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK SO BADLY?" And most of them were negative, because she kept blowing it up to be something massive. She got engaged, broke it off, complained, and then got engaged to another guy, and broke THAT one off, too - within the span of two months!

And then other people with their "Well, mark me down as coming!"
Um, can I PLEASE get back an RSVP first? Not only because I stuck the damn stamp on the envelope, but because it'd be nice to have a HARD copy of everyone coming. With 100+ invites out, there's no guarantee that I'm going to remember every single person coming if they tell me, I don't care HOW we're related!
Oh, AND they haven't bought their plane tickets yet, so there's really no guarantee there anyway! I understand they're going to TRY (one of these people is an aunt helpiing pay for the wedding cake as a gift), but EVERY SINGLE TIME they make some headway on finding plane tickets, something comes up (usually it being her reading the thing wrong and thinking things are cheaper than they actually are).

I just want to be like PLEASE send me back the RSVPs. PLEASE.
But knowing my luck i would say someone's NOT attending because they didn't bother with the freaking paper, and then they'd show up anyone and THEN where would we be, other than probably facing fees for extra people not included in the head count.

And all through this I keep reminding myself that not breathing is for dead people.

Oh, and my advisor OR the department chair of the program I'm starting next year for grad school won't pick up their phones (yes, I've sent an email and I've gotten to the "I'm calling you every five minutes or else!" phase), so i can't sign up for classes since my advisor gave me the INCORRECT information, so I'm already kinda irritated.