#itooamharvard OR Haven't You Ever Been Misjudged?

Wanted to share with you all a link I saw on my Facebook newsfeed:

http://bzfd.it/1n4xc3Q

And, of course, the reaction I had.

This is the article that sparked the absolute, utter fabulousness that is #itooamharvard:

http://www.thecrimson.com/column/the-snollygoster/article/2012/11/2/Siskind-affirmative-action/

Here's what I had to say upon sharing #itooamharvard:

"Oh good grief.  It's funny, and mind-boggling, and disgusting all at the same time.

And looking back... I've gotten so many of these, and it's not just from non-black people. Most common one is "What ARE you?" You mean, other than annoyed at that question?

It's also funny, looking at how much stuff I've gotten away with. I mean, I don't relax my hair to look white. I do it because it makes my hair easier to manage. But when my hair doesn't get done for a long time? Because of demographics I can get away with just brushing my hair back and going about my business. Most people will say it looks fine... Probably partly out of not knowing better. LOL... Oi...

OH! And before I forget... My first college roommate. When we first met face-to-face she said she was surprised to have seen my Facebook profile, because on the phone I "sounded like a redhead".

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell a redhead sounds like.

And the parting shot... I love that the girl who was told "Don't get any tanner" clarified it was her EX-boyfriend who said that."

I like to be optimistic and think that things work so much better than this in the real world. But unfortunately that isn't the case.

Now, you might notice that the link on there only gives you the first 21 photos. That means there are 42 more photos to see.

(To the exceptionally ignorant/rude out there... Surprise surprise! I can do math! 42+21=63)

...

Sorry, just had to add that in there.

Math isn't my best subject. It's not because I'm black. It's because I haven't really practiced it in years, and pre-algebra all the way up through calculus I struggled with it.

BUT I do have a M.S. in counseling, as well as my PLMHP and some other credentials I won't bore you all with. That's gotta count for something, right? ;)

Isn't it interesting how the target audience/population involved impact how such statements are taken? I mean, I HATE the "What are you?" question like you don't even underSTAND. I remember the first time I heard it, too. I was in... 6th grade, I believe. A black girl said it to me, along with "Why do you talk so proper?" And questions about the hair, the skin...

Just because I typically don't use Black American English Vernacular / African American Vernacular English / Ebonics / whatever the proper term for it is today... Doesn't mean I am less than. Although if anything, I could stand to learn it (BAEV/AAVE/etc.) a bit better.

Just because I don't use AAVE doesn't mean I am MORE than, either.

Wouldn't it surprise you to learn that BAEV/AAVE/Ebonics is actually recognized as its own language?

Have a little Wikipedia :)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African_American_Vernacular_English

ANYWAY! The purpose of this post wasn't for me to get on my little soapbox. I just wanted to talk about my own experience and share an article that really his home for me.

That said...

Haven't you ever been misjudged?

(The preview of the #itooamharvard video that will be shared on Friday:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uAMTSPGZRiI 

I'm kind of excited for this!)

Why not make "Some Day" today?

It's only been, what, 4 months since I last posted? And in that time a lot has happened. 2 half marathon PRs, my first full marathon, a whole lot of headache and enjoying time and Skyping with my best friend... Sounds like life, right?

(One day I'll get my race recaps up... I only need to post 7-8 of them, between Dumbo over Labor Day Weekend, Women's Running Series St. Pete, and the entire Dopey Challenge a month ago... No big, right?)

😳

😅

And through all of this, the hubs and I have been talking about what we want our future to be like, and how we're going to get there. Health, finances, eventually babies (although that's a long way off), travel, and overall quality of life.

Well, health is one of those big things for me, and I hope for us as individuals and as a family - and yes, even though there are only two of us we're still a family! 😊

The discussion is and continues to be that we have a lot of health problems in our immediate family - just the parents. We're talking obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular concerns with a hx of heart attack, stroke, cancer... It's not a pretty picture.

Sorry, "hx" = "history". It just flows really well to say that, because that's what I'm used to.

For future reference, "dx" = "diagnosis", "tx" = "treatment", and maybe I should just leave all the technical stuff at work, no? 😉

Anyway, we've been talking about becoming healthier as individuals and as a family.

I've been running for two years this month (Yay!) and I'm working on eating better and everything... But one of the things I kept getting from the hubs was "I'll do it when..."

That's short for:

• When I'm less stressed

• When finals are over

• When I lose weight

• When we buy a treadmill

• When I'm not tired

• When I finish that

• When it's warm and not snowy (... BTW, we only live in the Midwest. It snowed a couple inches last night. AND today's high is about 54*F)

There are so many others that I've lost count.

Finally I had to say "There will never be perfect conditions. You're going to get stressed out, and have a million things going on at once, and have bad days. That's. Life."

Don't get me wrong, I have days of "I'll get around to it!", too! I'm only a little embarrassed of the number of cookies I've eaten the last few days (Come at me, PMS!)

But how often in our own lives do we just put our foot down and say "You know what? "Some Day"? That day is TODAY!"

I wonder how much happier/less stressed/more vibrant/more fulfilled we would be as individuals, and what our quality of life will be like.

I know after Dopey I got hung up on the excuses. I'll run: in a few days, after it warms up to like 20*F cuz that's better than -10*F (ok, that was a garbage temp, but true! Lol), after I feel better, etc. etc. etc... And then it ended up being 4.5 weeks until my next run. And I was a crabby MESS. I wasn't very nice when I finally did go for a run 😳

I guess the point of this is... What's stopping you? How do you plan to overcome it? How can I (or anyone else) help you get to where you want to be in your life? (You know, aside from picking winning lottery numbers for you!) 😉

Sometimes we're all that's standing in our way.

ETA: AH! I knew I forgot something! I was going to brag a little. Last month the hubs came to me and said he wanted to do his first half marathon!! Super excited. He decided it'll be Dumbo at Disneyland - as in, the whole challenge (10k + half). I'm probably more excited that he is, if we're being real. This feels like a huge step for us being healthier and happier together... Like you couldn't tell that that's a big thing for me 😉

Welcome to the Unsavory: Another Look at RunSpiration

Well, hello, ladies and gents! I'm baaaaaack!

It's only been, what, a month and a half?

(Whomp whomp whooooooomp)

I owe you all a few race recaps, and I have more races coming up soon. But, sadly, I'm lazy when it comes to getting the pictures off of my cameras.

But pictures there will be! Just not now, because I'm on my phone, and I don't really have squat for race pictures on my phone - for Dumbo Double Dare I had a point-and-shoot in my hand, and the hubs had the SLR.

A little bit ago I got to thinking: what are reasons for running?

Sure, there are those who run for charities, for loved ones, for the fun of it, etc... But there are some less savory ones out there.

I admit it, I have some less-than-savory reasons for running. I mean, sure, I started running because I wanted to prove to myself I could. I wanted to see what the big deal was about people doing races, and I was a little jealous that others were doing it and I, well... Wasn't. I also enjoy the satisfaction of completing runs - I'm not going to finish first, but that doesn't make it any less amazing to me.

But thinking about family and Thanksgiving coming up and all (that's a whole other long story) got me thinking. And I realized that I definitely have some less-than-savory reasons for running - although I'm not quite sure about calling them "unsavory", not just yet 😉

The fact is this: I'm afraid of getting fat.

Bet you weren't expecting that bomb, huh?

And professionals everywhere and those who deal with ED just died a little on the inside, with a part of them screaming "ANOREXIA!!!!"

(Sorry, but I really like food, I try to pay attention to nutrition, vomiting makes me cry so why would I intentionally do it?, and I prefer not to speculate over other methods of purging and such... Just to name a few.)

Part of it is vanity. It's a bit embarrassing to admit. But I also equate part of it to along care of myself, and being a casual runner has helped with that for over a year and a half now.

On the other side... Most of my family is overweight or obese. Some things stick with you over time - my increased risk of diabetes due to genetics (relatives with diabetes, as well as being black), the lack of encouraged physical activity, the heart problems, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, knee replacements related to weight, family history of cancer, family history of stroke... It terrifies me, especially when I see how much of it is weight-related.

And it doesn't help when you have memories of people jokingly saying "You don't have a butt! You'll get one when you gain some weight like everyone else in the family!"

I know it was a joke, but I've always been a little sensitive.

And I don't want that for myself.

Oh, and I'm lazy and don't want to have to do any more clothes shopping 😉

Do you have any "less-than-savory" reasons for running? Better yet, what ARE your reasons for running? (I know some of you like to celebrate with beer/wine/chocolate!) 😉

To end on a slightly more positive note... Some pictures from Disneyland:

(You know, just a little preview of goodies to come. A picture's worth a thousand words, right?) 

Feeling a Little... Dopey :D (Also, questions for runners!)

Those of you who follow runDisney probably have an idea of what I'm going to say next...

In January 2014, I'll be running the (first!!) Dopey Challenge at Disney World.

I couldn't tell you if I'm more nervous or excited about this whole thing.
DH took a quick break after his meeting at work on Tuesday in order to get to get to a computer that wouldn't block the runDisney site (see also: he went to his folks' house) to register me for the race.

Happy impending-graduation present from the in-laws.

There's a small part of me going "WTF was I THINKING???" because this will be my first marathon, but the bigger part of me is going "Man, this is cool... I have 9 months to train for it, so I should probably get on it." And with the Dumbo Double Dare (and any other races I register for before Goofy), it's not like I'm not getting out there.

On that note, any runners reading this: How did you select a training plan to use - and did you actually use it? Also, how did you find it? (Internet, books, personal trainer, etc.)

I've been looking at the runDisney training plans, and they haven't updated the ones for the WDW Marathon Weekend for the 2014 races. Which makes sense, because race registration opened up less than a week ago!
All the same, the Goofy's Challenge training plan is 28 weeks long. So about 7 months long. That time out from Dopey is coming up pretty quickly. I wonder if that's a training plan I should use - I mean, even though the dates are wrong, it's still pretty relevant.
But I've also been thinking about whether or not to use a training plan for an ultra. Because Dopey is a 5K + 10K + half marathon (21K) + marathon (42K), we're looking at 48.6 miles run in 4 days.

Now that seems a little overwhelming at a glance. I gotta stop to catch my breath.

Biiiiiig sigh.

Ok, I think I'm good. Although suddenly the treadmill is calling my name.

Speaking of treadmills, I was recently enlightened to the existence of "virtual runner" apps, that you can use on the treadmill to "run" a certain route.

Has anyone ever used a virtual running app/DVD/video/what-have-you??

It was either through Competitor, Runner's World, or Women's Running, but one of them talked about Outside Interactive's Virtual Runner app. It sounds really cool. Although, less-inspiring is that you would have to purchase each individual route, and the reviews have been either hit or miss.
I was noticing the same thing with the (free!!) Virtual Active app reviews. Obviously you can't please everybody,but even so.
Both apps appear to have wonderfully different things to offer. Heck, Outside Interactive's VR app has the Boston Marathon route! I know in order to run Boston, I'd have to run at just under 2/3 of my current pace! My (qualifying) miles would have to be 8 minutes/mile or less... You do the math.

In other, far more depressing words, my client had to take her dog back to the (no-kill) shelter a few days ago because, with her age and health concerns and all, she can't care for the dog as well as she could when she got her over a year ago. So I looked at the website for the shelter she (the dog) is at... And then I started looking at the puppies.
We're moving to a 2-bedroom apartment in a month and a half (which will clean things up around here dramatically, between school and work stuff and everything) but I'm pretty sure that even then they wouldn't let us adopt a dog. Besides, we both work full-time. It would take quite a bit of maneuvering to have a dog OR house-break a puppy.

Alright, I'm off to sulk. Call me the mood-killer.
Have a good one.

Maybe... Marathon? Race Junkie

We're going to start off on a note unrelated to running.
Shocking, I know! But we'll get there, I promise.

I am officially done with my internship hours! I'm already 140+ hours over the minimum cumulative I needed, but I needed more hours with individuals... And I finished them up today! I am freaking psyched. I meet with my head supervisor and my instructor before class on Monday, and we'll talk about it then. I know when I met with my head supervisor on Tuesday, he told me that when people finish their hours he usually has them stop. But I'm pretty sure I have to continue all the way through to the end of the semester, so it may just result in me having my hours cut back.

Also, when I was making my outreach calls today (which helped me meet - and surpass!!! - the minimum individual hours needed), I sucked it up and called one particular client... Last time I talked to this person, s/he wasn't mad at me, but s/he was mad as can be. And I do mean MAD. And this person normally is a bit loud on the phone anyway, but that day s/he was taking loud to a whole new level. As in, I held the phone away from my hear and my team leader could hear the person. Maybe not understand him/her, but definitely hear him/her. And she (my fearless team leader) went and got me a soda to make up for the call ☺
Anyway, I called this person, and s/he was in a MUCH better mood. The concern that she/he'd had for over a month now? Taken care of.
And I was genuinely happy for him/her - AM genuinely happy. It really is amazing to know that the pieces all fell into place. It took more time that s/he would've liked, but the fact of the matter is that the end result is wonderful news.

Now on the subject of running... Technically I'm registered for the Disneyland Half Marathon... Twice. Yes, TWICE.
I'm really contemplating deferring the non-charity-organization-registration to the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend for the Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge.

Yes, I just said what you think I said. I've conquered a half marathon (granted, I walked most of it, but I did it - AND a crap-ton of walking around the theme parks for all four days we were there!) and now I'm really getting psyched about the prospect of doing a marathon.
And also of somewhat warmer weather, so I can take my running from the treadmill to the trail by our apartment. Only a little bit of that is related to safety concerns. From what I can tell, they plow the trails around here pretty quickly. Frankly, I think I'd be more likely to get frostbite and hypothermia than to slip, fall, and break my neck... Although I'd rather not chance THAT, either. It's so interesting: in the last year, I haven't been all that concerned about breaking bones and running (or, breaking bones in relation to running). But in the last week I was just so concerned that I would break something. My feet and legs hurt so badly that I went from overpronating to possibly underpronating (I couldn't tell, all I knew was it was out of the norm). You hear horror stories (I think one of them was in a recent issue of RW) of people running in the winter, falling, and breaking something.

Just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do it.

A marathon, I mean. Not falling and breaking something, although I suppose I could do that, too. But I mean just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do a marathon. Or a marathon AND a half (at separate times, I mean. At least right now).

And now I'm seeing all of these really cool races. I mean, they're ones that I'd noticed before, but they'd always seemed out of reach to me. A wonderful former best friend suggested the Diva Dash 5K. I'd eyeballed the Leprechaun Chase 10K, but that sold out ridiculously quickly (something tells me it's related to it showing up in the February or March issue of RW??). And oh my god, if I had my way I would sign up for the Runner's World Half & Festival. And do the entire. Freaking. Thing.

...
Is that a belated runner's high talking? I can't tell.

A half marathon seemed like a dream - a dream fit for a princess. I don't even know how I got up the guts to sign up for the Princess Half, but I don't regret it for a second!
I used to think a marathon was crazy and WAY out of reach, and I couldn't imagine spending 5-7 hours of my life (all at once!) doing such a thing...
I used to think a half marathon... Well, I didn't really even think about half marathons, to be completely honest.

Four years ago I was a freshman in college. At this time of year I'd been engaged for just over two months, I was actually liking college (the first semester was a doozy), and I was trying to envision where life would take me, but I was still somewhat unsure.

I never ever ever saw my life taking this (literal) path.
But I'm along for the ride (or run, walk, and plane ride, as the case may be), and I'm loving it.

Bring it.

(Now to wait for the hubs to get home from class so we can go run together!) ☺

Disneyland, here we come! (fundraising tips welcome)

Race registration for the Dumbo Double Dare opened this morning. The DDD isn't anywhere near as long as the Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge (half marathon/13.1 miles one day, full marathon/26.2 miles the next, for a total of 39.3 miles.
But the DDD still looks pretty promising. It's doing a 10K (6.2 miles) one day, and then a half marathon the next day, for a total of 19.3 miles.

I was one of the many many many many MANY people upset with runDisney. I tried for over an hour to get into the race, but the site kept glitching because so many people were trying to register. And by the time I got to it, it was already sold out! The DDD filled up in about 30-45 minutes after it became available to the general public!
(The part that bugs me about that is they KNEW there would be a mad dash for it - it's the first year for the DDD and the 10K there, after all. And yet the website wasn't equipped to handle it. I even checked different events on the website to see if it was just trouble getting that race to load. Nope, the whole site)
It also turns out that there were only about 5,000 spots available... And plenty of people were able to pre-register at the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend, as well as at the Tinker Bell Half Marathon Weekend, if you were an Annual Pass holder, if you had a Disney Visa credit card (almost makes me wish I'd decided to get one but, uh, no thanks). The DDD was between 60-80% full by the time the general public got to it. Not only that, there were people (like myself) who signed up for an email alert about registration. By the time I finally got the email, registration was closed!

It's amazing how many people, like myself, were mad with the whole thing. I hadn't expected it to be so wide-spread. It was even more amazing how many people were saying something along the lines of "It's not runDisney's fault. You should've gone to a race!"
I'll be the first to tell you, me doing Disney World AND Disneyland in one year? That's a HUGE splurge for me. Call it a bucket list thing, if you will... Although I don't actually have a set "bucket list". If it had been as simple as "Oh, well, you just didn't get to it in time", that's one thing.

Anyway, let me quit my ranting and raving. It's really getting me nowhere.

So I went ahead and registered for the 10K. QUICKLY. At the time I registered, the 10K was about 90-92% full. Then I registered for the half which, at this time, is about 85% full. Unless the website has been updated some time in the last 5 minutes, but I think it's probably closer to 80-85% full by now, if not more. We shall see.
The hubs will be doing the 5K, and we can be each other's cheerleader. I'm looking forward to it, and maybe holding a sign for him, since this will be a 5K he's doing by himself - the 10K starts 45 minutes after the 5K, so unless he's doing an 8:00 mile or something, I don't think I'd have enough time to be able to see him before I take off for my race.

Onward with where I'm getting with this blog!
I kept seeing people saying "Hey, you know, you can register to run with a charity. They still have open spots for the DDD!" Eventually I decided to just check it out.
The A-T Children's Project had a spot where I could become a fundraiser, even though I'd already registered for the race. AND they still have DDD projects. So I figured I'd jump on the chance. And I took it - although I'm still trying to figure out how to get from "I already registered, but wasn't able to get into the DDD" to "I'm registered for the DDD".

It wasn't the easiest decision to make. I'll be the first to tell you that I can't pronounce all of ataxia-telangiectasia. I just can't. I'm getting closer, but I feel like I'm butchering it. So in addition to the weird feeling I had (coughHAVEcough) about "I'm going to raise funds for something, but I can't pronounce it", my main concern was "I've got about 6.5 months to raise $600. How am I going to do it?"

Ok, so that's an average of about $100 a month. No problem. Except... I'm no fundraising whiz. Never have been. But the hubs really settled it for me.
"We're going to be there, we might as well do some good and help others."
(paraphrasing, but you get the basic gist of it)
AND he said that if I wasn't able to raise the $600, he'd take care of it, and not to worry. And, well, 6.5 months.
Yes, my husband said that. Something tells me I should keep him ;)

Well, it's that time of the night. I'm gonna ski-daddle. Any tips/suggestions for fundraising are more than welcome!
Also, here's the link to My A-T Children's Project Page.

Goodnight!

An experience I'd not care to repeat

I know a couple months ago I posted about fueling for runs - before, during, and after - and that Gatorade was a nightmare on my stomach.
Well, with the half next month, I figured that now's as good a time as any to get back into checking out fuels. I believe Disney gives out GU brand energy gels and such, so I decided to look it up. I saw some good things, mostly. Some bad from some people, but nowhere near as many as had trouble with Gatorade. So I picked up three flavors of the gel to try, and one back of the Chomps chews. I decided to have one (lemon sublime) pre-run, and one (strawberry banana) mid-run.

I got to the apartment's workout room around 11 last night and - this, btw, is super creepy - I flip on the light and there's just someone in there on the elliptical! I about had a heart attack!
...
And pretty sure it's not safe to work out in the dark. Especially when using and surrounded by equipment.

Older BIL suggested that if the TV was on then maybe that was enough light.

No. It was straight up DARK. Talk about scary as hell.
A couple came in not long after I got started, so I didn't felt as, um... Weirded out. Considering the time and all.

Eventually the couple left, and I pulled out the iPad and started to watch Mulan. About an hour into the workout (so maybe 25 minutes into the movie?) I have the second energy gel.

BTW, the scene in Mulan where she chops off her hair and steals her father's armor? I watched that 3-4 times. It was wonderfully motivating. I ended up going 5.7-6.0 MPH (10:00-10:30/mile, my usual is 12:30-13:30, if that tells you anything).

I decided to keep going until the end of the movie. I made sure to take a picture of the treadmill when I hit 9.11 miles (because seriously, that's funny), but I did hit "stop" at the end of the workout instead of "pause", so no pictures of the 9.55 or 9.56 I ended with.

That's right. Yours truly finished out at 9.55-9.56 miles! In about 2 hours and 11-12 minutes, keeping in mind I used the first mile as a 20- to 21-minute warm-up. That is 2.5 miles farther than my previous longest distance. And even with walking I'm still faster than the required pace :)

I got back, uploaded my run (my first failed NikeFuel mission - short by 300-ish points, but my best yet, so I can't wait to try it again! Another shot for the "hard" difficulty. I WILL get it), and then when I got ready to shower... It hit me.

I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I spent about 2.5 hours between the bathroom floor and trying to snuggle my sleeping-like-a-rock husband, all while feeling nauseous and having a case of the shakes. It was horrible! Even the stomach cramps I had from Gatorade didn't have that impact! I finally got a shower and got o bed at about 4:15 this morning.

Let's put it this way: between my post-shower weighing and my waking-up weighing (not even 6 hours apart) I lost 8 pounds. Which doesn't put me underweight or anything, it puts me at a weight I was more accustomed to a few years ago, but it still isn't good.
TMI, but I'm not sure how much of the loss was water because I made sure to drink water pre-, during, and post-run, and especially when I thought of the risk of dehydration with the post-run symptoms, and the gels/symptoms really cleaned me out...

Part of me is going "Hey, maybe you should just try the same brand but do it differently, even more water or something! Or maybe try a different brand! You may just have to condition yourself for it."
The other part of me is going "Hell. No. Do you really want to sit through another night of 2+ hours of shakes and nausea?"

I'm quite jealous of those runners who don't experience GI problems with running. Apparent,y they do exist.

On that note, 47.5 days to the Princess Half! I'm really feeling that I can do this. I got to 7.05 miles without energy gels, 9.55-9.56 miles with. I just need to make sure I can get that last 3.5 miles in, and I'm all set!
Also, DH and I have discussed the Disneyland 10K (the first year for it!) and the Disneyland Half Marathon so I'd have a shot at the Dumbo Double Dare medal for doing the 10K and half, AND the Coast to Coast medal for doing at least two races of half marathon or greater distance, one at Disney World in Florida and one at Disneyland in California :)

Hey, Disney?
...
I'm coming for you.
I hope you're psyched, because I know I am.

(Now just some pictures to showcase some of the fun parts of last night's/this morning's run:
- 9.11 miles. Just for kicks.
- "Citizens, I need fire power!" "Who are you?!" "Your worst nightmare." (I think Eddie Murphy did the Batman voice better than Christian Bale! Haha)
- "Light me!"
- the fireworks :)
- "If you ask me, she should've brought home a man!" "Does Fa Mulan live here?" "Woo! Sign me up for the next war!"
It's the "small" things, right?)

It's the most wonderful time of the year

A belated Happy New Year to everyone :)
Not too much is going on here in my neck of the woods. Just the usual life of a Master's candidate hell-bent on being a successful runner. Who wants to go to Disney.

Speaking of school, typing that made me realize that I graduate this year! Four months from Friday, if I'm not mistaken. But at this point in time it really doesn't feel like it's all that close.
I'm halfway done with my second internship, and I basically have until the end of April to get it taken care of. With any luck it won't be particularly difficult, seeing as it seems that I practically live here.
School starts on Monday. It seems so weird to say that. With any luck this won't be my last semester in school. I'm still waiting on my doctoral applications to be reviewed. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.

Regarding the running, DH and I officially kicked off our part of the Ultimate Moon Joggers challenge last night. We didn't get as much distance as we would've liked (he got 2 miles, I believe, and I got 3.33 - for the Ultimate we each need 5.5+ miles per day) but it was a start and we're going to work together to get in our miles. If we each only get 1000 miles this year instead of 2013 miles it won't be the end of the world, but we're gonna go hard because sometimes going home isn't the answer.

Last night I did my fastest 5K in 36-37 minutes. The exact time I couldn't say, since my shoe pod is a bit off, but I won't worry about specifics for now. The fact of the matter is that it's an improvement.

Disney's Princess Half Marathon Weekend is officially next month. Yes, you read that right. NEXT month. I'm... Unsure of how to feel about it.
On the one hand, I'm super excited. I know I can finish it, even if it ends up being a run-walk combination. I'm pretty psyched because I think I can get under the 3-hour mark if I keep this up. At least that's my hope. I've got 7.5 weeks to make it happen.
On the other hand, my brain is going "... You're kidding me, right? 13.1 miles? What the heck is wrong with you??????" And the nerves want to start.

Then I remind myself of the pin on Pinterest that says something to the effect of "That little voice that tells you you can't... Is a dirty lying whore." Or, you know, something to that effect ;)

On a more positive note, I booked all of our trip stuff with the exception of flights, which will be booked sometime within the next week - probably within the next few days, actually.
Disney level of readiness? Probably about 65%. Book flights, finish room and food reservation-type stuff, keep running, keep excitement up.
I'm running with a camera, if I can. And we're going to get so many pictures on and off the courses! And a few hours after the race were going to have lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table!

Not gonna lie, I think it's some funny mess. Cinderella is now a princess and she's going to be serving us our appetizer. Never mind that it's one that "she picked especially for us", the fact is she's going to be our server for a short time.

I hope I'll get that laugh out of my system before we get there.

Not much else is going on. Just running, school, and internship.
DH and I have been discussing the possibility of the Disneyland Half Marathon Weekend. I would love to get the Coast to Coast medal for doing at least two halves in one year, one at each resort. We'll just have to wait and see, no?

"If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that"

Note to self: Blogging inspiration may strike, but doing it while tired probably isn't the greatest idea. Hence the title coming from a Disney song.
"I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" from Hercules, if you hadn't figured it out.

And yet I can guarantee it will happen again.
Nothing says dedication like writing a blog and then dozing off in the middle of a sentence, right?

DH and I got up today and, after seeing my dad for a little bit (me getting the usual Holiday Barbie of the year, DH getting a tie chain, my dad getting some landscaping gloves and heavy work gloves) before he and his go out of town, I felt it: the inspiration to run. The desire to run.

Granted, I felt it a little last night, but I've been so tired lately that it just wasn't gonna happen.

So I got up, got ready... Realized I hadn't eaten at ALL, despite having been up for a couple hours already (see: not good), had a bagel thin with peanut butter, digested for a little bit... And I ran :)

I don't know what it was today, but hitting that 4.01 miles on the treadmill (yes, that "dreaded" thing for some people - I rather like it)... It wasn't bad. Really. Considering my last run was 2 weeks ago and I don't think I even made it to 3 miles, and before that I think it had really been over a month... It was pretty dang good.

I keep telling myself to not be disappointed, that 13.1 will come sooner than I know it - and it will, as long as I keep working toward it.

It has come to my attention that, with the exception of a few months ago where I hit somewhere around... Honestly, I don't remember. According to my watch it was 6.79 miles, so in reality it was probably between 6.25-6.5 miles?? But basically I'm normally somewhere around 4-4.5 miles, on average.
I think maybe part of it is related to the training program I've been using, seeing as when I hit the 6+ miles I was also doing the longest run of the current program.

By the way, I don't regret these compression calf sleeves. Not for a minute. It's been a couple weeks, so I was expecting a little bit of the awful itchy leg... Nope. Not a bit. I am so psyched about these sleeves that I would love to go get another pair, but for now I'm going to see how these shape up.

Bonus for the day: The hubs will be running with me quite a bit more in the future, starting tonight :)

Cross your fingers I don't fall out in that run! (Kidding! Well, sort of)

Dreaming

Isn't it funny how, when you feel that you've almost given up on a dream, or you think that maybe you have, something happens to make you realize that not only are you still dreaming, but it's within reach! It may take a while, but it's still within reach.

For example, I never thought I'd get anywhere with my dream of being a photographer. Ever. Other than bring a blah enthusiast. But right now I'm at a school... I do school portraits. It's not the event/on-location/studio photography I was hoping for, but it's pretty special. And it's not always easy. But it's great.
For example, I'm at a (mild-to-moderate) special needs school of preschoolers... The last picture of a student that I took this morning? I almost had it earlier, then we had to come back to him because he got fussy. So we came back to him, and he was crying and was having none of it. Then the teacher who was holding him started playing around with him, (carefully) swinging/dipping him in her arms, and getting him to smile. I had her lean out of the way a bit and Voila!! Great picture :) I was afraid we would get it, but I'm nothing if not determined - determined to get a shot his family will be happy with, and determined to keep upbeat and assure the teachers that it's ok if some kids need more time than others, that it's not a problem.
I still have quite a way to go with getting the technical aspects down, and I certainly don't own a DSLR yet, but it really makes me want to do more than just school portraits!
(That and this Thursday I have to be at work at 4:15. Yes, 4:15. In the MORNING! I could live without that) ;)

As for the running... I never even dared to dream that I could do what I'm doing now, that I would ever even WANT to go more than a mile, that I would want to go 5k and 10k and 13.1 miles (21k/half marathon)... If I dream big enough and work hard at it, maybe I'll even want to do a marathon some day!
And I'm so excited, not just for Disney's Princess Half Marathon (and the 5k the day before, and just being at Disney World! HELLO, DISNEY WORKD!!!!) but one of the races this year is in the town my great-grandmother lives in. I'm really hoping that they'll have it again next year. My great-grandma is in her 90s, and my grandparents are in their 70s, and I'd just love to see them. It would be great to see them, and maybe even have my grandma watch me compete.
Mind you, this race is 1000+ miles away.

I don't dream in half-measures, you know ;)

I'm also thinking about doing a thesis to get a Master of Arts instead of a Master of Science. I won't spill my topic idea just yet :) I'd thought about doing one before, but the topic I had just didn't feel right... But now this topic? It really speaks to me. I only have a semester to get it done - although common sense says to start getting it together NOW so I can get it cranked out.

Around January I'll also be finding out if I get accepted into a doctoral program...
And depending on how my internship goes, in January I may be starting at a different place - or just having TWO internships so that I can finally be provisionally licensed as an alcohol and drug counselor.

As I said, I definitely don't dream small. But I know that each of these dreams? I can do them. I'm so excited to do them. I WILL do them.

I am... Nothing If Not Determined.

I can't even begin to say just how tired I am. Although I am taking a moment to evaluate if it's a "good" tired or a "bad" tired. Let me explain.

I ran again last night. W10D1 of the 10k Runner iPhone app. Just over five miles total (including approx. 20 minutes of walking, give or take about 2 minutes). 20 minutes of walking (plus about 2 extra minutes) and 50 minutes of running (... MINUS about 2 minutes. Oi)

I have NEVER gotten to five miles at one time when doing straight running or a run/walk combination. EVER.

Well, at least not that I'm aware of :) Sure there were the days in school where we had to do 2-3 laps before band, and doing the miles in from elementary school on up for PE and doing the mile for ROTC. Then there were the days in the months between high school and college where hitting the gym daily or nearly every day got me able to run at least a decent distance (probably half a mile to a mile) at one time.

It was a huge accomplishment, and I felt, well... Badass. Amazing. Awesome.
Horribly sweaty and smelly, exhausted, annoyed (that's another story!), and desperate for a shower, but definitely awesome.

And then I got up 4 hours later for a full day of work photographing little kids. What the heck was I thinking?? Well... That there wouldn't be an afternoon class, but there were two that we didn't know about. But the kids were good. The staff was wonderful. And I want a nap like you wouldn't believe :)

I'm contemplating running today - a short one. Or maybe using the stationary bike or going for a walk.

It's ridiculous how much this Nike+ SportWatch GPS watch can motivate me. I hope it doesn't wear off when I get used to it... Although the whole thing of a sweaty wrist... Not that attractive. LOL.

Goal: Disney Princess Half Marathon in February 2013.
I don't know if I'll be able to 13.1 miles, but I won't know until I try.