Last first day of class!

As far as we know ;)
Tonight is the first night of my Human Development class.

I have a confession to make: I'm that weirdo who has not only printed out the syllabus already (in my program it's not TOO weird! haha) but I've already read it, highlighted some parts, and I've already planned out what my two "additional" projects will be.
The class has a total of three projects/papers, as far as I'm aware. One is a 4-5 page paper on a topic related to life-span development. I'm still contemplating what the subject of this one will be. For example, subjects from the past have included middle age and cosmetic surgery, pros and cons of breastfeeding, and expansion of adolescence into the 20s.
The closest idea I have for a topic at this time is something related to the drinking age. Real original, I know.
The other two projects, which I've already started, involve a 2-3 page summary of our experience, gathering information on a couple topics our professor has put on a list. From there we'll be doing a 15-minute (max) presentation. The plan is that I'll be doing one on the changes newlyweds have experienced since being married. I'll be combining two other topics, since they're so closely related, about the changes that parents have experienced since having a new baby, and what the birthing experience was like. I'll also be including people who have already had kids but now have a new baby, and what kind of adjustment has been taking place.

I really am excited for this. I reach out to my Facebook friends, as I know a lot of them are married/newly married/new parents. So far I've had 8 new parents (specifically new moms) agreeing to participate, 3 moms with new babies (maybe 4, I'm not quite sure), and 7 newlyweds.

What I'm really looking forward to is seeing what questions they'll answer. That is, I know some of them will have more than one section apply to them (newlywed with a new baby, that kind of thing). I'm looking forward to seeing what they consider maybe being a "new" baby or being a "newlywed".
I know that from personal experience I stopped feeling like a newlywed not too long after we got married, mostly because it was back to "real life" - no honeymoon, lots of work to be done, husband taking summer classes, etc. It's like there really wasn't downtime. But we've been married just over a year and a half, and some people would still consider that being "newlyweds" because it's been less than two years.

Apparently there's a show called The Newlywed Game, and the cutoff for eligibility is if you've been married more than 2 years.

Well, we're now up one newlywed and one new mom (or... new baby, already has kids... I'll figure that bit out later)! :D
I almost didn't expect it to come together so quickly/nicely, but I should also know from experience that a lot of women like talking about/remembering their weddings, talking about their birth experiences, etc.

What's especially funny about this whole thing is that I'm not doing a thesis. And getting such enjoyment out of people willing to participate in research makes me wonder just why the heck I'm not doing it! And then I remember that I'd be cranking out a thesis in under 4 months. Not impossible, but I would probably run screaming by the end of it if I procrastinated on it, and I would have to gather a committee, first!

Dreaming

Isn't it funny how, when you feel that you've almost given up on a dream, or you think that maybe you have, something happens to make you realize that not only are you still dreaming, but it's within reach! It may take a while, but it's still within reach.

For example, I never thought I'd get anywhere with my dream of being a photographer. Ever. Other than bring a blah enthusiast. But right now I'm at a school... I do school portraits. It's not the event/on-location/studio photography I was hoping for, but it's pretty special. And it's not always easy. But it's great.
For example, I'm at a (mild-to-moderate) special needs school of preschoolers... The last picture of a student that I took this morning? I almost had it earlier, then we had to come back to him because he got fussy. So we came back to him, and he was crying and was having none of it. Then the teacher who was holding him started playing around with him, (carefully) swinging/dipping him in her arms, and getting him to smile. I had her lean out of the way a bit and Voila!! Great picture :) I was afraid we would get it, but I'm nothing if not determined - determined to get a shot his family will be happy with, and determined to keep upbeat and assure the teachers that it's ok if some kids need more time than others, that it's not a problem.
I still have quite a way to go with getting the technical aspects down, and I certainly don't own a DSLR yet, but it really makes me want to do more than just school portraits!
(That and this Thursday I have to be at work at 4:15. Yes, 4:15. In the MORNING! I could live without that) ;)

As for the running... I never even dared to dream that I could do what I'm doing now, that I would ever even WANT to go more than a mile, that I would want to go 5k and 10k and 13.1 miles (21k/half marathon)... If I dream big enough and work hard at it, maybe I'll even want to do a marathon some day!
And I'm so excited, not just for Disney's Princess Half Marathon (and the 5k the day before, and just being at Disney World! HELLO, DISNEY WORKD!!!!) but one of the races this year is in the town my great-grandmother lives in. I'm really hoping that they'll have it again next year. My great-grandma is in her 90s, and my grandparents are in their 70s, and I'd just love to see them. It would be great to see them, and maybe even have my grandma watch me compete.
Mind you, this race is 1000+ miles away.

I don't dream in half-measures, you know ;)

I'm also thinking about doing a thesis to get a Master of Arts instead of a Master of Science. I won't spill my topic idea just yet :) I'd thought about doing one before, but the topic I had just didn't feel right... But now this topic? It really speaks to me. I only have a semester to get it done - although common sense says to start getting it together NOW so I can get it cranked out.

Around January I'll also be finding out if I get accepted into a doctoral program...
And depending on how my internship goes, in January I may be starting at a different place - or just having TWO internships so that I can finally be provisionally licensed as an alcohol and drug counselor.

As I said, I definitely don't dream small. But I know that each of these dreams? I can do them. I'm so excited to do them. I WILL do them.

Almost there!

I'm so close to being done with the semester that it's not even funny!
Actually, now that I think about it... I only have two weeks left!
And two take-home finals, a giant paper, two in-class finals to go.
It's more than a little overwhelming when I add the paper into the mix. I'm thinking of doing a thesis, and said thesis would be spun out of this paper. I know I can do it, but there are moments where I just feel like hitting my head on something.

I feel very accomplished today. Since I got up (and lazed around for the first half hour) I've: eaten breakfast, did some muscle stretches, did W4D3 of my 10K Runner app (basically C25K, but aiming for longer distances), put my gym clothes in the wash, showered, went to the doctor, put gas in my car, and now the gym clothes are in the dryer.
And that was all between about 9 and 2.

Now I'm just being a bum ;)

I started my PLADC hours, and had to terminate that relationship because my supervisor had a petition for disciplinary action on her license :-/ but I've got an interview on Monday for another place, so I've got high hopes!

And in just over a month, DH and I will be going to my cousin's wedding, and then celebrating our first anniversary!
You know, with the finals and the end of the semester and summer classes and work and what not all in there somewhere. Oh goodness.

One day at a time.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying running.
But let's be honest, I wasn't enjoying it this morning. I'm definitely a bit dire, but not as sore as I was immediately after I finished running.

When I ran on Sunday night (on the treadmill) I finished that particular night's program... And then went a few extra minutes that I needed to hit the 5k distance! It was pretty awesome.

The 5k for Fertility is in less than 2 weeks! DH and I are just walking it, but I'm so excited!
The Runway Run on base is 2 weeks after that. I would love beyond LOVE to do that, but I don't know if I'll be able to crank out 7 miles just yet - and if I can, what about the hills and everything? I do little to no incline on the treadmill. I'm just not to that point yet :-/

But I have high hopes. We'll see.

Eloping sounds better every day. I blame the movies.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to get married.

But at the same time, I'm sick of wedding planning.
I'm sick of worrying about paying vendors, getting fitted, making sure everybody has their clothes, buying decorations, wondering when people are going to stick the damn RSVPs in the mail when I stuck a stamp on every single little envelope after paying $1.05 between RSVP stamps and invitation stamps, keeping track of dates like when we have to finalize the wedding cake, keeping track of the guys as far as them all getting fitted - heck, I can't even remember what guys are wearing are wearing what color vest and tie! I only remember the color of the vest and tie FH is wearing and what color our dads are wearing.

I'd much rather eat string cheese and yogurt, and dance the samba and the cha cha all day - which works, because I'm rather fond of all of those.

And I'm sick of the girls who can talk about NOTHING but planning their weddings and how much their love their fiancés and all that mess.
I just want to be like "HELLO, DO YOU HAVE A LIFE? WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU GOT ENGAGED?????????"

Yes, planning a wedding is exciting, but that doesn't mean you should lose your brain and not be able to competently talk about nothing else.

Frankly, I'm beginning to think that weddings are overrated, and they cost way too much anyway. Especially if you're not getting married in a church.
And believe me, we're not getting married in a church.
Even as a little girl I never saw myself getting married in a church. I was more of the "outdoors-in-a-flower-garden, take-your-allergy-medicine, watch-out-for-the-bees!!" wedding vision.
If I traded that in for a church, then I had my heart set on stained glass windows.

Well, that didn't happen, but I'm rather pleased with how it did end up working out.

I'm so sick of things not going as planned.
I blame the movies.
Because you expect everything to be perfect. Right? Right.
But in all reality, it's not perfect.

Leading up to the day there's all this stress.
I've only taken off the wedding day for work, because financially it's the only thing that works for me, as I'll already be taking off two other days that month - one day for moving into our apartment and the very next day for graduation.
And that's going to take a big chunk out of my paycheck, which does not please me at ALL.

And when you tell people this, they look at you like "Have you lost your mind? You're going to be MARRIED, a NEWLYWED! Why are you going into work if you can take it off?"
Because let's face it, there are bills to be paid.

Yeah, that's the part that movies don't tell you about.
Paying bills.
What if one or both of you sucks at dancing, or you can't agree on a first dance song, or one wants to choreograph and the other one doesn't?
What you do when you can't afford to take off work?
They ignore that the hotel rooms that give you the flower petals and the sparkling cider and the whole romance deal? Yeah, those are over $200 a night. Believe me, I checked.
They don't tell you what happens when you GET to the hotel (other than what people typically think of when they think of getting to the hotel after getting married... oh, don't make me say it! ... Ok, ok, having sex, you know that whole deal).
So you're not thinking about parking the car, or dragging your luggage inside. You expect that it'll all magically be set up!
But no. You have to carry in your luggage, unless you decided to have things already at the hotel (like your wedding dress bag, your clothing for the next day, some pajamas, toothbrush, toothpaste, maybe some sensible shoes!).
You have to park the car, unless you decide to pay $18 for valet parking.
Yes, $18. I looked this up.
And movies keep you thinking some mess about being carried over the threshold when, in all reality, you're both probably tired and chances are he has no desire to be picking you up in a dress that probably adds an extra 20 or 30 pounds of weight to you, if not more if you decided you wanted to go the route of hardcore princess-y ballgown with lots of fluff.
And from what I've heard, sex is kind of messy. As in, you have to put down a towel or you change the sheets right after or something. Ooooookkkkkkkkkkkk, yeah, you never hear about that in movies.

Let's face it, I can pretend all I want to that this doesn't bug me, but I'm a little upset at the prospect of not having a honeymoon. Movies lead you to believe that you get married and you leave for your honeymoon the very next day or a couple days after the wedding or something.
Well, there are a number of couples who are waiting to take their honeymoons - anywhere from a month later to having it as a trip for their first anniversary!
But if you didn't know that and you either weren't having a honeymoon or were having a delayed one, you end up thinking there's something wrong with you.

Because if we're being honest, sometimes people can't afford everything you hear about in the movies.
And movies glamorize weddings far too much.

Yes, weddings are exciting.
Yes, it's wonderful to be able to marry someone you care about so much.
Yes, it really shouldn't be this big of a deal.
But yes, it still bums you out.

People who talk about going to Mexico, the Bahamas, France, Italy, Spain, Hawaii (particularly if you live on the other end of the United States), Disney World...
Yeah, I'm a huge fan of Disney World, and probably always will be no matter how old I get...
But they don't preface this with "Not everybody can afford this, so you may not be able to try this at home."

And then when I mention this to FH, because he manages to get it out of me that I'm upset about a lac of honeymoon - because every newlywedded couple goes on a honeymoon, right? - he suggests taking out a loan for beforehand, paying it back ASAP once he works more hours during the summer, and us having a honeymoon.
Except I'm of the belief that if you have to take out a loan to a honeymoon or a wedding, well, you probably shouldn't be doing it to begin with.
End of discussion.
I can wait for years to go back to Disney World or Vegas if it means that we don't have to pay back a loan that was taken out specifically for that.
It's called a vacation for a reason. Meaning you should be able to take it without worrying every second about how you're going to pay it back. Maybe for a moment worry about work and making up hours or something, but not about how you're going to pay back the vacation you're on.

Maybe I'm just jaded. We've been engaged for 2 years and just over 4 months - and we're not getting married for another month yet.
I'm so sick of weddings that it's oozing out of my pores.
I thought it was exciting that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married exactly one month before us.
Now I'm just ready for talk of weddings to be over, so i can get on with life.

With my husband and our dog, of course, provided that we take the dog with us, but nonetheless.

This whole wedding planning thing is just stupid now, and it just makes me want to go in the shower and cry.

Nobody ever tells you that wedding planning will be such a headache.

...
Ok, I think the stress of finals and term papers is getting to me.
Because once you get past being concerned about jobs and the apartment and bills... Let's face it, I'm not really all that concerned about the wedding.
I really do NOT want to even LOOK at my thesis for my seminar class. She bled all over EVERYBODY'S paper - in blue ink, no less! (Honestly, I just thought that was kind of weird. Yes, our school color is blue so in a sense we "bleed blue," but if you're bleeding on a paper then why not do it in red ink? Or at least something that stands out from black a little bit more than blue ink does!)
And my paper for Experimental Psychology... I'd be lying if I said I'd started on it.

Although in all reality, I just changed my topic last week. Originally I was going to do it on sensory deprivation and isolation tanks (which I think was somewhere along the lines of you lose one sense and the others become sharper), but when it came down to it that was just a topic that I picked because I really couldn't find anything else more interesting to talk about.
And it's kind of hard to get up the motivation to work on a paper when you don't give a damn about it.

So I changed my paper to being about the use of animals in research.
I have to write an outline, and then do the paper... My paper is due on Saturday.

::Insert little kid whine::
"I don't WANNA!"

Ok now that's enough of that.
I think it's time for string cheese and yogurt.
And to actually make an attempt at my term papers. I mean, I DO graduate in... let's see, it's not quite midnight, so 11 days.

You know, instead it might actually be time for bed. I dunno.

Toodles.