Words of Wisdom (Teeth)

I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday. Something I could've lived without, but nothing like the horror stories people kept feeding me with horrible nurses, oral surgeons not listening to people that novocaine won't work on them, that kind of mess.

Although I will say it was kinda weird and creepy because they had wrist clamps for heart rate/pulse monitors, and the cords attached to them (so yay, no sticky stuff!). I was hanging out around 68 or so, and then the oral surgeon walked in and it jumped to about 78.

Nervous much?

I found it rather... Humorous, for lack of a better word, that they told me to come in wearing short sleeves or something that could easily be rolled up past the elbow (for IV sedation)... Yeah, they stuck it in my hand.
The oral surgeon told me that in about two minutes the room would spin.
I only got as far as thinking "Man, my hand feels a little numb..." and then I woke up.

Yeah, I don't know what "room spinning" he was talking about.

I love my MIL. My husband has a bad habit of volunteering her for things and not telling her until a day or two before (or, you know, being "nice" and "volunteering" me for things... We gotta work on his communication! lol??), and she ended up taking me to the dentist AND staying in the waiting room for an hour and a half - all while being on a teleconference that she'd had scheduled.
Not to mention the fact that they actually showed me a video on how to care for my mouth AS I was waking up.

Totally slept through most of it.

And on top of everything else, she changed my bloody gauze, and even made me try to have some milkshake before she made me take my painkiller (nevermind that I didn't need or want the painkiller, she followed instructions and wouldn't let me take it on an empty stomach - and she wiped my coat when I spilled shake and dripped blood on myself).
With a mouth full of clean gauze, I told her I loved her. And that I'd never felt so attractive in my life (sarcasm, of course).

My last run was two nights ago, and ended in enough time that I had a small dish of frozen yogurt, some orange juice... I think I also had my water and vitamins, or something like that... All right before the cutoff of when they told me to not eat before the surgery.
And then waking up around 8, about an hour before the surgery... Needless to say, I was crabby because I was hungry - AND I wasn't allowed to have water or anything.

The more recent dilemma has been deciding what I can and can't do. I woke up at 7, despite having the day off... And I wanted to go for a run.
Of course, I've been pretty clear-headed since the surgery (although a bit groggy yesterday, but still pretty lucid), but I know good and well that DH and the ILs would've been all "NO! NO YOU MAY NOT!!!"
And soI didn't.
I paid credit card bills. I looked up shoes for graduation for about an hour. I spent just over an hour on the phone with my FIL (and yes, the "NO YOU MAY NOT!" was confirmed). And then I was so bored (and maybe a little tired?? But mostly bored) that I slept from just after 11 until about 2, pausing for random phone calls, of course.
I was so bored I was tempted to go into work. Of course, I'm going in at about 5 anyway for an evening training.

And here I am, awake. Very minimal pain, maybe a hint of discomfort here and there... And I've been living on Ensure shakes and pudding - the kind of pudding that has to be refrigerated! (How weird is that??). And a little bit of applesauce.
Which is tasty and all, but it blows because I would go for a burger or a spicy chicken sandwich or something if I could, but I should probably avoid that for the next couple days.

On the subject of nutrition, I've been trying to figure out exactly how to take care of myself post-run for the next week while my mouth heals. I already have a hard time with GI issues post-run, and now it seems like I'm going to be on applesauce, Ensure, pudding (cold pudding! ick), and water for ages.
I feel a bit like an old person with hardcore dietary restrictions or something.

I tried looking it up, and I found all sorts of posts from people who ran a great distance the next day, or couldn't run the next day, who felt fine or had a horrible experience, and I'm just thinking "Well, I could be out and moving around instead of laying here like a lump because I'm not in pain..."

Even better, the experience I got from my other job... They called me yesterday afternoon with an open shift on Saturday - I'd already told one person I wouldn't be able to do Saturday (the day of the NCE), but that I wouldn't be able to come in to fill out the paperwork because I work during the hours the office is open. She told me it was ok.
My phone was on silent yesterday and I dozed through the call. When I saw they'd called I was going to make DH call and let them know I was unavailable for a shift - of course he didn't do that. So I sent them an email.
I called them this morning to make sure they got the message, and was told that when "something like this happens" (meaning my wisdom teeth getting taken out) I need to call and let them know I can't work.
Uh... That's not why I can't work Saturday. I'd already spoken to someone about it - I'm not working Saturday because I paid $300 to take a licensure exam. I feel perfectly fine, and I'm not available for them during the week anyway! I don't know what wisdom teeth Wednesday have to do with work Saturday - AND I was lucid enough to send an email that was grammatically correct and had no spelling errors.

Head, meet wall.

I love them, but I'm waiting to get a call to work graduation day this time around, too. I took the day off when I graduated with my bachelor's, and ended up working an overnight :-/

Which reminds me, if you all didn't notice... I'm graduating! May 4 :)
I rewrote my career counseling essay for my written exam, and I will be graduating! As in, diploma and everything! Now to find the right shoes for graduation. MIL and I will be going after the NCE on Saturday to see what we can find.

That is all. For now ;)

Marching away!

Yes, yes, that was my cheesy way of incorporating into the blog that it is now MARCH of 2013. And what an exciting month it has been so far! It's almost absurd how much excitement has been happening.

Also, as a heads up... My brain is working in bullet points in order to sort everything out. So it's all wrapped up in a nice, neat package... That is hardcore sealed with tape in every opening for security (and a little bit for fun, to watch people try to find a place to pry it open... Yes, I am THAT person at Christmas and on birthdays. No paper is left in tact when I'm around! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, random maniacal rant over)

• On March 1st (a week ago today) I took the written portion of the test that I need to pass in order to graduate with my Master's in May. I felt SO much better about that portion than I did about the CPCE (160 multiple choice questions). The sections I got were: Careers, Groups, Consulting, and Multicultural. Pretty much everyone I've talked to feels much better about their 4 essays than they did about the CPCE.
• I believe the scores you can receive are: high pass, pass, low pass, and no pass. You're only allowed one "no pass" for an essay, and if you get one then you have to redo that essay immediately. If you get more than one "no pass", well, you have to retake the entire written portion the next time it's offered - and in this case, that's in the fall. Which would delay graduation until December, if that were to happen. But I'm fairly confident in my essays, the only exception being Careers. Seriously, they talk to us about theories in the majority of our classes, but theories specific to Career Counseling?? They were only in that class. Go figure... But hopefully I'll find out soon!
• On March 4th I met with my internship supervisor and my instructor. It's always great to get compliments; my supervisor occasionally remarks that I'm probably the most prepared intern he's ever had.
• On that same token, one of my goals to work on (and one of my biggest insecurities regarding counseling) is theories. More specifically, working to identify my theoretical orientation, and learning more about it. I have a basic idea of the theory I mesh with best (CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) but often I find it hard to put into words. That and I barely got out of Theories with a B-. Originally I had a C+, but I emailed the professor and he bumped me up. If you get two C's in this program then you get put on academic probation. If you get three C's, you're out of the program. You can appeal your grades and all, but even without emailing my professor, I wasn't feeling especially confident in that particular class.
• On March 5th... Well, I went to class. And I spent time talking with one of the girls who works at my internship about possibly applying for the open position at my internship. She told me to think over it that night, but basically have my decision made the next day, because it's a vacant position they need filled and, while they like me, it'll probably get filled fast.
• That day I also went to our apartment complex office about a 2-bedroom apartment. No, nothing like a baby or anything, so don't get to freaking out! Just more space. A girl can only have so many bookshelves in a 1-bedroom apartment without tripping over stuff, right? And then I went and worked out, and I met someone in the fitness room! It was weird, he was nice AND he actually talked to me! Not usually something I get while in the fitness room, that's for certain.
• March 6th... I spoke to my site supervisor about the open position. She told me to get on the paperwork. I forget what else happened.
• March 7th (this being yesterday) my site supervisor gave me a copy of the application, and told me I basically already had the job but that I still had to fill out the paperwork. And shortly thereafter I had a staff member tell me "welcome aboard". Which reminds me, we have a new staff member on my team. She's beyond nice, and she was excited to hear that I was taking the open position.
• Even better! I got home, saw that there was mail from the department at school... The hubs had to open the letter for me, I was so nervous... But I passed the CPCE! Which means that assuming that the essays turn how how I'd like them to, I'm graduating May 4!!!!!
• Oh, and to top it all off, a book I've been waiting on finally came out. It was 2.5 months past the original deadline, due to author illness, but I'm so excited for it. I finished it tonight, and I'm looking forward to when the final book in the trilogy comes out in April or May.
• If I haven't mentioned... I'm a sucker for romance novels. The book I've been waiting on is called Armando Returns, and it's by Reeni Austin.
• Aaaaaaand today, March 8... I turned in my application for the position, as well as a copy of my resume. AT about 10:15 this morning, less than two hours after I turned everything in, I got a call from HR confirming my acceptance of the position, some super basic information, and that my official start date is Monday! See also: I'm going to be getting PAID to do what I've been doing the last few months. Also, more responsibilities, but no big. Bring it on!
• Unfortunately this means that I'll be switching teams and will be working with different consumers than I've been working with the last 4.5 months. That is, I'll be working with the same people, but less intimately with some and more intimately with others. It's disappointing, but I'll look at it as an opportunity for growth. And I know the new staff on my (original) team loves the team, and that she'll be great.

I have my first full-time job! I feel like such a big girl now! ☺

And that's the previous week of my life in a nutshell, basically. Also, tomorrow I'll (hopefully) be attending a counseling conference on campus. I'm excited, they JUST started offering it free to students. I was going to try to go before they announced that, but now I'll definitely be trying to go.

Comps and more comps

Today is my first day back in the "real world". It's been kind of nice getting back into the swing of things. I woke up a little earlier than usual - probably still used to getting up freakishly early for races??
Then I dozed back off. Of course.
Getting back to internship... It was nice. I'd already known that I was tired and everything, but walking back in and looking at everything with a clear mind and a far more positive attitude... It made me realize just how much I really needed those days off, even if they were full of running events.

Running events that I enjoyed *immensely*. Wouldn't change it all for the world.

Now to get back on track. I've got comps on Friday. Written comps, that is. I'm not particularly worried about passing those. I really feel like I'm going to do well on them, especially if I know my stuff really well for one-to-two sections and can use those sections to expand on everything else. I have four hours for four four sections, in which I have to write one essay for each section.

It's a huge difference from the CPCE. That multiple choice section... It was 160 questions, I prepared as best as I could... And I'm pretty sure I bombed it. I'm really afraid that I didn't pass. I know that people usually feel like they really failed it... But I REALLY feel like I failed it... If I have to retake it, then I can't graduate until I pass it - and the next time it's offered is in the fall. Ugh.
I can tell which sections I didn't really study as much as others. All the same, I've heard people saying that they thought the Encyclopedia of Counseling (AKA this HUGE book most all of us bought to study from) was a waste. A good book, but not the least bit helpful when it came to the CPCE...
But I am SO GLAD that I spent as much time as I could on Theories and Careers. Theories was a beast to take, and it's something that I still struggle with a bit. I lucked out with my grade; I emailed my professor because my grade was coming out to a C+ (2 C's and you're on academic probation, 3 C's and you're kicked out of the program). He bumped me up to a B-, which is the lowest grade I've gotten this whole program. I really lucked out.

Oh, and even better... I found out yesterday that I didn't get accepted into a doctoral program in Human Sciences with a specialization in Child, Youth and Family Studies (yes, without a second comma). Talk about a downer. Came back from this amazing weekend, only to discover that I didn't make it into the program... And it was my last outstanding doctoral application, which means that unless I'm magically accepted into something some time soon, I'm not going on for my doctorate in the fall.
I wouldn't even know what else to apply for. And the whole thing really does suck.

On that note... I got to see Bunheads yesterday? I think it was the season 2 finale. Yay for ending on a positive note. It was a good episode.

One down, two to go

Yesterday I got back a letter on the status of my application to a doctoral program in Counseling Psychology.

"Dear Victoria,
Blah blah-blah blah-blah... While we found your application to be very strong, the pool of applicants was highly competitive. Thus, we have judged that we are not able to offer you admission into our doctoral program at this time. However, due to the strength of your file, we would like to consider you for admission to our master's program in counseling..."

I posted about that on Facebook, and on of the comments I got was basically asking if they even LOOKED at my application. Because, let's be honest... In less than four months, I'm going to HAVE a master's degree in counseling. Why would I need a second one??
The only real difference I saw in the course work is that they've got a couple classes dealing with adolescents, while I haven't had any on that particular subject during my master's program. And the difference is really only six credit hours in the end. The equivalent of two classes. I'm thinking I'm not going to pursue that.
While I would LOVE to have a doctorate in Counseling Psych, part of me is pretty offended by the suggestion that my current schooling isn't good enough. ESPECIALLY when that school pairs with mine for some distance education, and it's the same school system and all.

If I'd just applied to one program, the next step wouldn't be so hard. But I'm waiting on two more application decisions.

Long story short, I have a job opportunity at my internship. As in, I've been told that they would love to have me and there's a position open.
Here's the catch: It's a full-time position, and the doctoral programs I applied to? Their classes are at any and all times of the day. It just wouldn't work out for me. So one way or another I'm going to have to say "goodbye" to something. Goodbye to the job opportunity in order to pursue a full-time doctoral program. Goodby to a doctoral program in order to make money.

Or, and here's what I'm really afraid of, goodbye to both because they're already interviewing prospective candidates so I may miss out on the job AND not get accepted into either of the remaining doctoral programs that have a current status that has yet to read "under review".

It's like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. Except both seem equally immovable at this time. I never expected to miss out on opportunities due to wanting to further my education. Or rather, I expected to miss some things, for instance missing hanging out with friends because I have a ridiculous homework assignment due the next day. But it just always seems to surprise me when I realize that wanting to further my education can be a barrier, because I wouldn't be able to dedicate 100+% of my time to it, despite being able to do the job and do it well.

What to do?
Decisions, decisions...

On that note, I'm off to bed. Goodnight!

Last first day of class!

As far as we know ;)
Tonight is the first night of my Human Development class.

I have a confession to make: I'm that weirdo who has not only printed out the syllabus already (in my program it's not TOO weird! haha) but I've already read it, highlighted some parts, and I've already planned out what my two "additional" projects will be.
The class has a total of three projects/papers, as far as I'm aware. One is a 4-5 page paper on a topic related to life-span development. I'm still contemplating what the subject of this one will be. For example, subjects from the past have included middle age and cosmetic surgery, pros and cons of breastfeeding, and expansion of adolescence into the 20s.
The closest idea I have for a topic at this time is something related to the drinking age. Real original, I know.
The other two projects, which I've already started, involve a 2-3 page summary of our experience, gathering information on a couple topics our professor has put on a list. From there we'll be doing a 15-minute (max) presentation. The plan is that I'll be doing one on the changes newlyweds have experienced since being married. I'll be combining two other topics, since they're so closely related, about the changes that parents have experienced since having a new baby, and what the birthing experience was like. I'll also be including people who have already had kids but now have a new baby, and what kind of adjustment has been taking place.

I really am excited for this. I reach out to my Facebook friends, as I know a lot of them are married/newly married/new parents. So far I've had 8 new parents (specifically new moms) agreeing to participate, 3 moms with new babies (maybe 4, I'm not quite sure), and 7 newlyweds.

What I'm really looking forward to is seeing what questions they'll answer. That is, I know some of them will have more than one section apply to them (newlywed with a new baby, that kind of thing). I'm looking forward to seeing what they consider maybe being a "new" baby or being a "newlywed".
I know that from personal experience I stopped feeling like a newlywed not too long after we got married, mostly because it was back to "real life" - no honeymoon, lots of work to be done, husband taking summer classes, etc. It's like there really wasn't downtime. But we've been married just over a year and a half, and some people would still consider that being "newlyweds" because it's been less than two years.

Apparently there's a show called The Newlywed Game, and the cutoff for eligibility is if you've been married more than 2 years.

Well, we're now up one newlywed and one new mom (or... new baby, already has kids... I'll figure that bit out later)! :D
I almost didn't expect it to come together so quickly/nicely, but I should also know from experience that a lot of women like talking about/remembering their weddings, talking about their birth experiences, etc.

What's especially funny about this whole thing is that I'm not doing a thesis. And getting such enjoyment out of people willing to participate in research makes me wonder just why the heck I'm not doing it! And then I remember that I'd be cranking out a thesis in under 4 months. Not impossible, but I would probably run screaming by the end of it if I procrastinated on it, and I would have to gather a committee, first!

The last first day of my program!

I'm gonna be completely honest, I hope wasn't my last first day of a semester in my education ever. I think I mentioned a while ago that I'm currently waiting on a decision from three doctoral programs... I'd forgotten what it was like to just... Wait. I've been checking on my applications for over a month now, and the status shown online still says the same thing:

Submitted.

It's a relief to see that word when you're concerned about whether or not a test or homework assignment got turned in, but not when you would like it to say "Under Review". I'm hoping to find out something (positive) soon.

Today (that is, Monday, not Tuesday, since it's after midnight) was my first day back at school this semester. And my last first day for my current school program!

The day as a whole started off pretty nicely. Got to my internship, did our morning meeting, ran my group... Then I started on paperwork and I thought I was going to die.

Ok, not that bad, but long story short? Cramps + IUD don't mix. I kinda felt like I was being crushed from the inside.

I should clarify, now that I have the IUD my menstrual cramps don't feel like the usual menstrual cramps. Hell, if I have them I don't notice them. All I notice is THE SQUEEZING FEELING. Yes, all bolded, larger font, and in caps is a start at being sufficient enough to describe it. Note that I said "a start".

I ended up heading home before lunch to hopefully find some food I could stomach so I could take 800 mg of ibuprofen (yes, you read that correctly: 800 mg), and get some sleep with the hope that I wouldn't oversleep my first class back. Or, you know, vomit.

I have to say, nothing makes me feel quite as... Pathetic. Yes, pathetic. Nothing makes me feel quite as pathetic as knowing that not only did I bail early because I had cramps, but that I had to take a doctor-approved dose of a pain reliever (a pain reliever that often isn't recommended for runners, unless I'm mistaken - I've heard both ways) so that I would quit feeling like my uterus was about to be sucked out of me. Which already sounds forceful and gross and agonizing and all that other (not-so-) fun crap.

On the plus side, I restarted a book I'd read (and loved) previously. Any romance novel fans, Jennifer Crusie fans, or... I don't know how to define what Bob Mayer writes, but Bob Mayer fans... If you haven't checked out Agnes and the Hitman, I HIGHLY recommend it. Especially if you've got a good sense of humor. Southern mob, a hot hitman, good food, a dog named Rhett (yes, Rhett, as in Gone With the Wind Rhett), and swingin' frying pans!

Then I got my nap, and all was well.

As far as classes go, I'm really looking forward to this semester. Not just because it's my last semester before I graduate with my M.S. (knock on wood! Comps are next month!), but because so far classes are looking good! Granted, I've only got two classes this semester, and I've only had one. But the benefit to being so far along in my program is that my internship class? There are only 8 of us, if you include our (pretty cool) instructor. My Human Growth class is on Tuesday evenings, so I have yet to experience it, but I hear it'll be pretty easy. Mostly writing. And I took a Human Growth course in undergrad, so here's hoping that helps.

It's interesting, though: There's no required book for this class. The Blackboard shell isn't even online, so I don't know who is in my class, although with some hunting I can figure out how large the class is... It looks like there are 24 people (including myself) in the class.

My internship may very well end up leading to a job. I'm unsure of how I feel about it. On the one hand, I spend 30+ hours a week there, and it would be lovely to be paid for it. On the other hand, I know good and well that not only am I waiting on doctoral decisions, but that if I get accepted I may not be able to work there. Or if I do, it will have to be part-time - which I suppose isn't horrible. Let's be honest, that's not bad at all.

Now on to running!

What, you didn't think I could make it a whole post without talking about this journey, did you? ;)

Ok, ok, I thought I could, but we're getting down to crunch time with the countdown, and I'm just excited to be going to Disney next month! Everything is just under 45 days away. About 44 days and 23.25 hours, actually - according to the runDisney website, of course!

I didn't get a run in tonight like I'd planned. Too easily distracted by the fact that I'm making our running tutus. And they. Will. Be. AMAZING! I'm going to post pictures and everything when I finish them, because the ideas I've got are so exciting!

Another reason I *may* have put off running, in addition to a lack of time and all that fun jazz when compared to everything else going on right now, is probably nerves surrounding my lovely running fuel. Since Friday's awful post-run episode of GI distress, I've gotten a couple other types of running fuel to try. I've long since established that Gatorade is not my friend. I'm adding GU to that list, although I don't know if that includes the GU Chomps, which I'd already purchased. I've bought Hammer Nutrition gels (one in Apple-Cinnamon flavor, one in Tropical), and some Hammer Nutrition Perpetuem Solids in Strawberry-Vanilla, which I don't have to worry about mixing into a drink.

And excitement of excitement, Jelly Belly makes sport jelly beans! Now THOSE I'm excited to try!

There are some other brands of fuel I was looking to try. I've heard from lots of people that Honey Stingers is good, and that Nuun has really been nice for people with sensitive stomachs.

Speaking of supplements, I picked up some Calcium Magnesium Zinc, which my dermatologist suggested when I talked with him about the half a few months ago. He didn't tell me that they'd be so large!

(That's what she said)

Although I don't know what I was expecting. But it certainly wasn't to take 3 a day.

Before I go, I think I've decided on a new name for this blog. I'm thinking it's going to go from "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" to "A Runner in the Making". But it's been over a year so naturally I've grown attached to the current title of this blog, even though I don't dance even half as much as I used to. Not even close. I'm lucky if I'm gettin' down in front of the bathroom mirror nowadays.

Well, I've rambled on quite enough for the night. It's bedtime. Toodles!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

A belated Happy New Year to everyone :)
Not too much is going on here in my neck of the woods. Just the usual life of a Master's candidate hell-bent on being a successful runner. Who wants to go to Disney.

Speaking of school, typing that made me realize that I graduate this year! Four months from Friday, if I'm not mistaken. But at this point in time it really doesn't feel like it's all that close.
I'm halfway done with my second internship, and I basically have until the end of April to get it taken care of. With any luck it won't be particularly difficult, seeing as it seems that I practically live here.
School starts on Monday. It seems so weird to say that. With any luck this won't be my last semester in school. I'm still waiting on my doctoral applications to be reviewed. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.

Regarding the running, DH and I officially kicked off our part of the Ultimate Moon Joggers challenge last night. We didn't get as much distance as we would've liked (he got 2 miles, I believe, and I got 3.33 - for the Ultimate we each need 5.5+ miles per day) but it was a start and we're going to work together to get in our miles. If we each only get 1000 miles this year instead of 2013 miles it won't be the end of the world, but we're gonna go hard because sometimes going home isn't the answer.

Last night I did my fastest 5K in 36-37 minutes. The exact time I couldn't say, since my shoe pod is a bit off, but I won't worry about specifics for now. The fact of the matter is that it's an improvement.

Disney's Princess Half Marathon Weekend is officially next month. Yes, you read that right. NEXT month. I'm... Unsure of how to feel about it.
On the one hand, I'm super excited. I know I can finish it, even if it ends up being a run-walk combination. I'm pretty psyched because I think I can get under the 3-hour mark if I keep this up. At least that's my hope. I've got 7.5 weeks to make it happen.
On the other hand, my brain is going "... You're kidding me, right? 13.1 miles? What the heck is wrong with you??????" And the nerves want to start.

Then I remind myself of the pin on Pinterest that says something to the effect of "That little voice that tells you you can't... Is a dirty lying whore." Or, you know, something to that effect ;)

On a more positive note, I booked all of our trip stuff with the exception of flights, which will be booked sometime within the next week - probably within the next few days, actually.
Disney level of readiness? Probably about 65%. Book flights, finish room and food reservation-type stuff, keep running, keep excitement up.
I'm running with a camera, if I can. And we're going to get so many pictures on and off the courses! And a few hours after the race were going to have lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table!

Not gonna lie, I think it's some funny mess. Cinderella is now a princess and she's going to be serving us our appetizer. Never mind that it's one that "she picked especially for us", the fact is she's going to be our server for a short time.

I hope I'll get that laugh out of my system before we get there.

Not much else is going on. Just running, school, and internship.
DH and I have been discussing the possibility of the Disneyland Half Marathon Weekend. I would love to get the Coast to Coast medal for doing at least two halves in one year, one at each resort. We'll just have to wait and see, no?

Know thyself

Never have two words been uttered so often.

"Know thyself."

I'm pretty sure they're engraved on my brain at this point in my life. I'd heard them many times throughout undergrad and I occasionally hear them in grad school.

"Know thyself."

But what does it really mean?

For years I've been encouraged to become aware and maintain awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. To know my limitations, to test my boundaries... To increase my awareness of who I am as an individual.

And never has it been more apparent to me, and also more confusing.

"Know thyself."

Ok, maybe not as confusing as identifying myself as a teenager. Somewhat.
...
Ok, maybe it is a bit more confusing. It seems that I'm far more aware of who I am and what I want in my life.

But now I'm also more aware of the boundaries that I have to heed.
Life isn't infinite.
It's important to not burn your bridges unless you're for sure done with them. And even then... I'm learning more to hold my tongue and smile even when displeased with someone or something. And let's face it, I'm getting better at being cordial to someone's face... Without feeling like I'm going to be massacred in the process. Being able to receive some genuine enjoyment out of the interaction, appreciating it for what it is.
I have to pay bills. What a damn shame.
I can't do everything. Well, I can, but now I have to be more cognizant of the rules and limits surrounding what I want to do. That is, I always did, but as an adult sometimes I have to rely on myself to bail me out. Haha?

Although there is no limit on how old you can be before you stop enjoying Disney movies. Thankfully :D
DH and I just finished watching Hercules, and I'm tamping down the urge to sing along. We'll see how long that lasts.

"Know thyself."

Even though it can be a major pain in the tuchus (hello, paying bills? Or HF&Ds, or hellfire and damnation, as my father so eloquently refers to them), the process of growing up has been enjoyable. More so after high school, and the continuation of my growing and maturing (and the occasional backslides into immaturity. Everyone needs one now and then!).
I'm realizing the boundaries and limitations of some things (for example, needing a tax ID to start my own photography business, and needing to enhance any skills first!), but I'm also realizing things that I truly enjoy.

I joked about becoming a counselor at first.
Hello, why not get paid to have people tell you their problems when they do it anyway?
I've grown to realize that not only is it something that calls to me, I absolutely love it. I'll be the first to tell you that I'm highly introverted, and that being in crowded situations or with people I don't know or whatever can make me swear like nobody's business (which... I guess you probably didn't want to know and it probably ISN'T your business! Yay?), but interacting with clients is really wonderful.

What I'm getting at is that although there are things I have learned, I've still got a ways to go.
But I'm really enjoying discovering who I am as an individual, both personally and professionally.

"Know thyself."

Well, I'm kind of along for the ride, aren't I?

Sometimes the hardest part is just getting out the door

I feel good right now.
I feel kinda tired, a bit pumped, definitely in need of a shower... But I feel pretty damn good.

I just got back from doing a run on the treadmill... The first structured run I've done since the day before Halloween. Which means that while I was definitely doing some moving around with Zumba Fitness Core on the Wii and some of the "Advanced Run" on Wii Fit Plus, I haven't really put myself out there.

I can't even pretend today's run was easy. The first fifteen minutes or so was gratifying. It really was. I ran for a total of about 25 minutes, walked more than I would consider ideal when I'm 75 days, 6 hours, and... 6-ish-minutes-by-the-time-this-is-posted away from running my first half marathon.
It was disappointing to only see about 2.5 miles shining up at me from the treadmill (or 2.81 miles, according to my watch... Yeah...) when I used to doing 4+, and have gotten up to 6+. But it makes me realize I've got to step it up.

I've got to put into it what I want to get out of it, and I refuse to be transported to that finish line on anything except for my own two legs.

But for real, I feel good right now. For the last month the hardest part for me has just been getting back into it. The day of that " Halloween Fun Run" in an October was a huge emotional blow (for a pretty big variety of reasons), and since then I've been working my butt off for my education.
But finally, FINALLY finals are next week. And I'm looking to do some self-care.

Which, let's face it: self-care is about more than taking care of your body. It's about taking care of your mind. Finding the necessary balance.
Dead Week was far more stressful than I would have liked for it to be. Getting in a huge paper, awaiting a presentation grade, giving a presentation, and just trying to get enough sleep.

And so we go back to focusing on balance (and maybe a hint of time management skills. Let's be honest, sometimes I just suck at that).

Alright, first step in the self-care bit?
I'm going to hop my happy hind-part into the shower.

It seems my hard-earned degree isn't worth crap

I graduated with my BS in Psychology in May. Even before I graduated I was looking for jobs relating to my degree (or at least something I'd be vaguely interested in or can at least do and not want to choke myself).

I work in non-medical in-home senior care. My hours aren't guaranteed, but mire often than not I'm getting a bunch of hours - but my hours are really whenever and wherever.

I love my job, but I'm going nuts. I had a smoking client for 7 days of the last 13. A couple of those days when my shift ended I felt like I was going to be sick (I'm a non-smoker).
I want to tell the office I won't work with smoking clients, but the husband and I aren't financially in a position where I can pick and choose, since we both work and go to school, but I'm the only one who can really get full-time in around my classes and our health insurance takes $250 out of his paycheck every two weeks and the extra money he makes goes to paying off his car and groceries.

I KNOW what I want to do, but without my MS (in two years) I can't do it.

For months I've been looking for a job, but what they don't tell you in school is that unless you're good in sales then nobody wants someone with an undergrad psychology degree. They want social work.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say social work degrees can do more than psychology degrees. Even my sister says it (and sounds extremely pissed off when discussing it, and she's very level-headed).

So now I'm faced with finding a place to get my PLADC (provisional licensed alcohol and drug counselor) and potentially losing work hours, or find a way to beef up my credentials by taking classes (can't afford to just drop $500 on CNA classes, not at this moment, and keep in mind I'm already a full-time grad student), or find a second job - but most places I've looked want someone who can also do weekends, and I actually have a steady weekend client.

I find myself bouncing around. I had one teacher tell me a PLADC was basically worthless. He also told my class we should get life coach certified, to add to our resume, but that it's kind of silly (cynical much?).

I'm finding so many things I CAN do until I get my MS (in counseling), and that doing them might be beneficial in the long run but absurdly selfish in the immediate future. $500 for a CNA course? Rent's covered, but we like to make sure at least the next month's is good too.
Life coach, CNA, PLADC, hell I've even looked at wedding planning and getting ordained. Because maybe it would be SOMETHING that works.

I'm the main breadwinner in our household, the money isn't terrible, but I'm the one whose credentials don't mean anything to prospective employers, the one who barely makes above minimum wage, and I keep finding myself faced with "what ifs." Like "what if I can't afford car insurance when my car is signed over to me next month?" because then I CAN'T work (job requires proof of insurance, since I transport clients) AND it's kind of illegal.

I'm done with my vent now.

"On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek! I can't wait to get on the road again."

Well, Donkey might have been anxious to get "on the road again," but if we're being completely honest... I think i'll do just fine without it.

Don't get me wrong, I love traveling, but when you're packing to go anywhere - especially when you're moving! - it's pretty much just one big pain in the tuckus (check out an episode or two of The Nanny if you don't know what that means).

Ok, so let's see...
Apparently FH forgot that we were going to go apply for our marriage license on move-in day. We discussed this and agreed on it, and when I mentioned it to him today he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. Lovely.
We figured it out, though, and we're going to try to meet at the courthouse in the morning right when it opens, before heading to the apartments to sign the lease.

We actually got our first wedding gift yesterday! I was exciting, and so nice and unexpected. I'd planned on not working at my job close to school after graduation, and have only been there since January and I only started actually getting hours in the last month. I figured when my boss said "gift" that it was something small as a sort of "thank you for working" type gift. Nope, it was two fruit bowls! They're actually quite pretty. I might actually have to start buying fruit!
And then to go with that... a thread I'd read talked me into peeking at our registry, and I saw that somebody had bought us a gift... of course, target.com is lame because they won't let me look at the overview to see *if* anything was bought, so I actually clicked to see *what* was bought, and to my surprise there actually was something purchased! and the best part is that what was purchased... wasn't fruit bowls! So someone else got us a gift! It's all kind of exciting!

I finished my finals yesterday. I am so glad to be DONE! I'm done with my undergrad, and I'll be walking in the ceremony on Saturday at 10 in the morning! I'm so excited!
... Although I'm a little irritated. I missed points on a final that I shouldn't have missed, because I was waiting on someone to do their job... It's a long story, and I really don't want to get into it.

I'll miss my roommates, but if we're being truthful?
...

I'm perfectly ok not having to room with girls ever again. EVER. AGAIN.
Don't get me wrong, I love them. But there are some things that I have just had ENOUGH of.
Who seriously moves someone else's stuff into a room they share with someone without asking? There's a whole lot MORE to that story, but I'll save you the drama.
I got the head's up while I was out to dinner with FH, FMIL, and FBIL (the younger one, that is), and I swear my head about exploded.

But I'm all moved out, so I shouldn't let it bug me. But still! This mess is FAR too ridiculous.

Anyway, we're moving into our apartment tomorrow, and I couldn't be more excited!
At the same time, however, I'm starting to get into my "Ech, I'm over it" mode. I'm assuming that's the lack of sleep talking, but we DID just move a ton of stuff today.
FH made two separate trips with my stuff before my dad came and then we all left with a load (well, mine was technically just a trunk-full). I almost feel weird saying that, and then I remember that we lived in a dorm that was more like an apartment. So in addition to movies, books, clothes, and stuff of that sort, I also have bathroom stuff and a bunch of kitchen stuff.

On Sunday FH took my engagement ring back from me after I got off work. And then either Monday or Tuesday (somewhere along those lines) he took it and my wedding rings to the jeweler to get everything soldered.
I should have them back no later than the 12th! So essentially 6 days, if you count that it's the end of the day.

FMIL and I may be looking for her dress for the wedding this weekend. No idea what we're looking for, though.

Random question: what do you buy as a Mother's Day gift for someone who isn't very feminine and would probably prefer a mop bucket to a diamond necklace or bracelet? (more specifically, someone who would prefer something USEFUL).

Two of FH's wedding presents came in the mail! I'm really excited to see them. I didn't open one, and I took a quick peek in the packaging of the other one so that he wouldn't see what I got him.

You know, I'll have more to say next time I post (which hopefully won't be as long of a wait as it was for this particular post), but right now I'm just exhausted.

Here's hoping that everything goes smoothly when we go to move into the apartment in just over 8 hours!

If you happen to be a fairly big supporter of education...

Please take my survey. In support of my education!

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CV3HZHK

That's all I have to say. Oh, and thank you, and you're not required to take it if you don't want to, there are no rewards for taking said survey, you may quit the survey at any time if you do not wish to continue...
And really, it's a survey about caffeine.

Thanks.