I know I just posted a new blog very recently (as in, less than two minutes ago as I type this), but this is an issue important enough to me that it deserved its own post.
Burnout.
So far, it's something I've managed to avoid. But in the last couple months (specifically, February with its crazy test prep and anxiety and everything) it seemed like burnout was something that was going to hit me - and hard.
It's no secret among my friends that I'm a bit of a night owl. But I'm starting to get it together and try to go to bed, uh, BEFORE midnight or one in the morning (see also: No more checking Groupon right at midnight! ... Yes, yes I am that person... Or I was, at least).
I also have to wonder if part of that had to do with me being tired.
To condense a suuuuuper long story, it's been stressful. Super stressful. If you've checked out previous posts, you know about comps. I've also not been working as much as I used to.
Correction: I'm working more, when you add in my internship, I just wasn't getting paid for it.
Nothing like basically working a full-time job and not getting paid for it, huh?
On the same note, because my schedule has been reduced to only weekends for my one job, and my stable client moved to be by other family, I haven't been working much.
See also: three hours every other weekend.
(Mind you, this client I see every other week is such a sweetheart. Love her!)
But the fact remains, I was relying on my husband for income. What I was making wouldn't even cover our gas bill sometimes (No, I will not say how much the paycheck is, or what our gas bill is... But either way, it's a big drop from working 15-ish hours every weekend). And I was sick of it. Sick of it, and worrying myself sick because I just want to make sure bills get paid, and for a while when we first got married we'd had an agreement that I would be the predominant provider due to school scheduling and all. I wasn't used to relying on someone else, but I WAS used to working my tail off.
And after a while, especially as I realized that I was racking up internship hours (BTW, I'm OFFICIALLY done with them! Nearly 200 over my total minimum needed), but I was tired. I was frustrated. I was appreciated, and I knew it, but it was hard. Especially when I'm used to doing the math to make sure bills get paid, even though I KNOW they'll get paid. I can't recall ever having been late on a bill.
But it was always me saying "I'll take care of it", simply for the fact that my family stresses education BIG-time. And I already have my Bachelor's degree, and I didn't want my husband to worry about finances while completing his... And there was no was he was dropping out of school to work. No way.
Eventually it takes its toll on you.
I have to say, I'm super excited that I've been hired on as an official full-time staff at my internship. It's exciting. It's exhilarating, and enjoyable, and it gives me such an opportunity to learn (and grow and be more flexible - it's amazing what having a set of keys can do...). I've enjoyed the staff since I started there - actually, today felt like it was my first day again, I was that excited and happy, and the consumers were excited to hear that I'd be staying on.
However, a small part of me wondered... Is it the excitement getting RID of the tinglings of burnout, or is it the excitement HIDING those feelings?
Either way, I tend to use the excitement to my advantage.
Let's face it, as an unpaid intern working 30-40 hours a week... Who'd already completed her minimum required hours, and far EXCEEDED them... After a while, you start losing the motivation to... Show up early or on time (I know, cardinal sin in the workplace! Horribly shameful, and something I know better than to do). To feel good about going.
One of the things we talk about in the Anxiety and Phobia group that I lead there... Is "Personal Meaning".
I have to say that being hired there... Gives me a sense of meaning when being there. More than before. It gives me a sense of direction. I can learn more about the position. Help out more. Get more into the documentation side of things, learn more about the processes. Not feel like I'm nagging someone when I have scheduled a one-on-one meeting with someone, and I need keys to open the phone room. Be able to meet with more individuals one-on-one.
Oh, and here's a big one: I feel more accepted.
Not that I wasn't to begin with, but when the desire, anticipation, excitement, and determination start waning, and burnout starts setting in... It's kind of hard to be enjoyable to be around, I'm sure, and when it's comes to wondering if someone will be reliable... That shouldn't happen, but I know it's something that happens to many, many people out there in the world.
My head's been churning with ideas, with the possibilities of the things I can do and the ways I can contribute - that was a big thing with me before I switched departments at my internship. I was welcome, until it became apparent that there were many things that, as an intern, I couldn't do alone. Then I became a bit of an annoyance to at least one person. Thankfully someone understood - the guy who was in the program with me, and interned in another department before he was hired. He understood that it wasn't easy, and that it could be terribly limited, and for that I'm grateful.
Ok, enough of my gabbing about burnout and the importance of having a sense of meaning and direction. I think I'm done blogging for the night. Thank you and thank you ☺
Showing posts with label internship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internship. Show all posts
Friday, March 8, 2013
Marching away!
Yes, yes, that was my cheesy way of incorporating into the blog that it is now MARCH of 2013. And what an exciting month it has been so far! It's almost absurd how much excitement has been happening.
Also, as a heads up... My brain is working in bullet points in order to sort everything out. So it's all wrapped up in a nice, neat package... That is hardcore sealed with tape in every opening for security (and a little bit for fun, to watch people try to find a place to pry it open... Yes, I am THAT person at Christmas and on birthdays. No paper is left in tact when I'm around! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, random maniacal rant over)
Also, as a heads up... My brain is working in bullet points in order to sort everything out. So it's all wrapped up in a nice, neat package... That is hardcore sealed with tape in every opening for security (and a little bit for fun, to watch people try to find a place to pry it open... Yes, I am THAT person at Christmas and on birthdays. No paper is left in tact when I'm around! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, random maniacal rant over)
- On March 1st (a week ago today) I took the written portion of the test that I need to pass in order to graduate with my Master's in May. I felt SO much better about that portion than I did about the CPCE (160 multiple choice questions). The sections I got were: Careers, Groups, Consulting, and Multicultural. Pretty much everyone I've talked to feels much better about their 4 essays than they did about the CPCE.
- I believe the scores you can receive are: high pass, pass, low pass, and no pass. You're only allowed one "no pass" for an essay, and if you get one then you have to redo that essay immediately. If you get more than one "no pass", well, you have to retake the entire written portion the next time it's offered - and in this case, that's in the fall. Which would delay graduation until December, if that were to happen. But I'm fairly confident in my essays, the only exception being Careers. Seriously, they talk to us about theories in the majority of our classes, but theories specific to Career Counseling?? They were only in that class. Go figure... But hopefully I'll find out soon!
- On March 4th I met with my internship supervisor and my instructor. It's always great to get compliments; my supervisor occasionally remarks that I'm probably the most prepared intern he's ever had.
- On that same token, one of my goals to work on (and one of my biggest insecurities regarding counseling) is theories. More specifically, working to identify my theoretical orientation, and learning more about it. I have a basic idea of the theory I mesh with best (CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) but often I find it hard to put into words. That and I barely got out of Theories with a B-. Originally I had a C+, but I emailed the professor and he bumped me up. If you get two C's in this program then you get put on academic probation. If you get three C's, you're out of the program. You can appeal your grades and all, but even without emailing my professor, I wasn't feeling especially confident in that particular class.
- On March 5th... Well, I went to class. And I spent time talking with one of the girls who works at my internship about possibly applying for the open position at my internship. She told me to think over it that night, but basically have my decision made the next day, because it's a vacant position they need filled and, while they like me, it'll probably get filled fast.
- That day I also went to our apartment complex office about a 2-bedroom apartment. No, nothing like a baby or anything, so don't get to freaking out! Just more space. A girl can only have so many bookshelves in a 1-bedroom apartment without tripping over stuff, right? And then I went and worked out, and I met someone in the fitness room! It was weird, he was nice AND he actually talked to me! Not usually something I get while in the fitness room, that's for certain.
- March 6th... I spoke to my site supervisor about the open position. She told me to get on the paperwork. I forget what else happened.
- March 7th (this being yesterday) my site supervisor gave me a copy of the application, and told me I basically already had the job but that I still had to fill out the paperwork. And shortly thereafter I had a staff member tell me "welcome aboard". Which reminds me, we have a new staff member on my team. She's beyond nice, and she was excited to hear that I was taking the open position.
- Even better! I got home, saw that there was mail from the department at school... The hubs had to open the letter for me, I was so nervous... But I passed the CPCE! Which means that assuming that the essays turn how how I'd like them to, I'm graduating May 4!!!!!
- Oh, and to top it all off, a book I've been waiting on finally came out. It was 2.5 months past the original deadline, due to author illness, but I'm so excited for it. I finished it tonight, and I'm looking forward to when the final book in the trilogy comes out in April or May.
- If I haven't mentioned... I'm a sucker for romance novels. The book I've been waiting on is called Armando Returns, and it's by Reeni Austin.
- Aaaaaaand today, March 8... I turned in my application for the position, as well as a copy of my resume. AT about 10:15 this morning, less than two hours after I turned everything in, I got a call from HR confirming my acceptance of the position, some super basic information, and that my official start date is Monday! See also: I'm going to be getting PAID to do what I've been doing the last few months. Also, more responsibilities, but no big. Bring it on!
- Unfortunately this means that I'll be switching teams and will be working with different consumers than I've been working with the last 4.5 months. That is, I'll be working with the same people, but less intimately with some and more intimately with others. It's disappointing, but I'll look at it as an opportunity for growth. And I know the new staff on my (original) team loves the team, and that she'll be great.
I have my first full-time job! I feel like such a big girl now! ☺
And that's the previous week of my life in a nutshell, basically. Also, tomorrow I'll (hopefully) be attending a counseling conference on campus. I'm excited, they JUST started offering it free to students. I was going to try to go before they announced that, but now I'll definitely be trying to go.
And that's the previous week of my life in a nutshell, basically. Also, tomorrow I'll (hopefully) be attending a counseling conference on campus. I'm excited, they JUST started offering it free to students. I was going to try to go before they announced that, but now I'll definitely be trying to go.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Maybe... Marathon? Race Junkie
We're going to start off on a note unrelated to running.
Shocking, I know! But we'll get there, I promise.
I am officially done with my internship hours! I'm already 140+ hours over the minimum cumulative I needed, but I needed more hours with individuals... And I finished them up today! I am freaking psyched. I meet with my head supervisor and my instructor before class on Monday, and we'll talk about it then. I know when I met with my head supervisor on Tuesday, he told me that when people finish their hours he usually has them stop. But I'm pretty sure I have to continue all the way through to the end of the semester, so it may just result in me having my hours cut back.
Also, when I was making my outreach calls today (which helped me meet - and surpass!!! - the minimum individual hours needed), I sucked it up and called one particular client... Last time I talked to this person, s/he wasn't mad at me, but s/he was mad as can be. And I do mean MAD. And this person normally is a bit loud on the phone anyway, but that day s/he was taking loud to a whole new level. As in, I held the phone away from my hear and my team leader could hear the person. Maybe not understand him/her, but definitely hear him/her. And she (my fearless team leader) went and got me a soda to make up for the call ☺
Anyway, I called this person, and s/he was in a MUCH better mood. The concern that she/he'd had for over a month now? Taken care of.
And I was genuinely happy for him/her - AM genuinely happy. It really is amazing to know that the pieces all fell into place. It took more time that s/he would've liked, but the fact of the matter is that the end result is wonderful news.
Now on the subject of running... Technically I'm registered for the Disneyland Half Marathon... Twice. Yes, TWICE.
I'm really contemplating deferring the non-charity-organization-registration to the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend for the Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge.
Yes, I just said what you think I said. I've conquered a half marathon (granted, I walked most of it, but I did it - AND a crap-ton of walking around the theme parks for all four days we were there!) and now I'm really getting psyched about the prospect of doing a marathon.
And also of somewhat warmer weather, so I can take my running from the treadmill to the trail by our apartment. Only a little bit of that is related to safety concerns. From what I can tell, they plow the trails around here pretty quickly. Frankly, I think I'd be more likely to get frostbite and hypothermia than to slip, fall, and break my neck... Although I'd rather not chance THAT, either. It's so interesting: in the last year, I haven't been all that concerned about breaking bones and running (or, breaking bones in relation to running). But in the last week I was just so concerned that I would break something. My feet and legs hurt so badly that I went from overpronating to possibly underpronating (I couldn't tell, all I knew was it was out of the norm). You hear horror stories (I think one of them was in a recent issue of RW) of people running in the winter, falling, and breaking something.
Just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do it.
A marathon, I mean. Not falling and breaking something, although I suppose I could do that, too. But I mean just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do a marathon. Or a marathon AND a half (at separate times, I mean. At least right now).
And now I'm seeing all of these really cool races. I mean, they're ones that I'd noticed before, but they'd always seemed out of reach to me. A wonderful former best friend suggested the Diva Dash 5K. I'd eyeballed the Leprechaun Chase 10K, but that sold out ridiculously quickly (something tells me it's related to it showing up in the February or March issue of RW??). And oh my god, if I had my way I would sign up for the Runner's World Half & Festival. And do the entire. Freaking. Thing.
...
Is that a belated runner's high talking? I can't tell.
A half marathon seemed like a dream - a dream fit for a princess. I don't even know how I got up the guts to sign up for the Princess Half, but I don't regret it for a second!
I used to think a marathon was crazy and WAY out of reach, and I couldn't imagine spending 5-7 hours of my life (all at once!) doing such a thing...
I used to think a half marathon... Well, I didn't really even think about half marathons, to be completely honest.
Four years ago I was a freshman in college. At this time of year I'd been engaged for just over two months, I was actually liking college (the first semester was a doozy), and I was trying to envision where life would take me, but I was still somewhat unsure.
I never ever ever saw my life taking this (literal) path.
But I'm along for the ride (or run, walk, and plane ride, as the case may be), and I'm loving it.
Bring it.
(Now to wait for the hubs to get home from class so we can go run together!) ☺
Shocking, I know! But we'll get there, I promise.
I am officially done with my internship hours! I'm already 140+ hours over the minimum cumulative I needed, but I needed more hours with individuals... And I finished them up today! I am freaking psyched. I meet with my head supervisor and my instructor before class on Monday, and we'll talk about it then. I know when I met with my head supervisor on Tuesday, he told me that when people finish their hours he usually has them stop. But I'm pretty sure I have to continue all the way through to the end of the semester, so it may just result in me having my hours cut back.
Also, when I was making my outreach calls today (which helped me meet - and surpass!!! - the minimum individual hours needed), I sucked it up and called one particular client... Last time I talked to this person, s/he wasn't mad at me, but s/he was mad as can be. And I do mean MAD. And this person normally is a bit loud on the phone anyway, but that day s/he was taking loud to a whole new level. As in, I held the phone away from my hear and my team leader could hear the person. Maybe not understand him/her, but definitely hear him/her. And she (my fearless team leader) went and got me a soda to make up for the call ☺
Anyway, I called this person, and s/he was in a MUCH better mood. The concern that she/he'd had for over a month now? Taken care of.
And I was genuinely happy for him/her - AM genuinely happy. It really is amazing to know that the pieces all fell into place. It took more time that s/he would've liked, but the fact of the matter is that the end result is wonderful news.
Now on the subject of running... Technically I'm registered for the Disneyland Half Marathon... Twice. Yes, TWICE.
I'm really contemplating deferring the non-charity-organization-registration to the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend for the Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge.
Yes, I just said what you think I said. I've conquered a half marathon (granted, I walked most of it, but I did it - AND a crap-ton of walking around the theme parks for all four days we were there!) and now I'm really getting psyched about the prospect of doing a marathon.
And also of somewhat warmer weather, so I can take my running from the treadmill to the trail by our apartment. Only a little bit of that is related to safety concerns. From what I can tell, they plow the trails around here pretty quickly. Frankly, I think I'd be more likely to get frostbite and hypothermia than to slip, fall, and break my neck... Although I'd rather not chance THAT, either. It's so interesting: in the last year, I haven't been all that concerned about breaking bones and running (or, breaking bones in relation to running). But in the last week I was just so concerned that I would break something. My feet and legs hurt so badly that I went from overpronating to possibly underpronating (I couldn't tell, all I knew was it was out of the norm). You hear horror stories (I think one of them was in a recent issue of RW) of people running in the winter, falling, and breaking something.
Just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do it.
A marathon, I mean. Not falling and breaking something, although I suppose I could do that, too. But I mean just because I'm slow doesn't mean I can't do a marathon. Or a marathon AND a half (at separate times, I mean. At least right now).
And now I'm seeing all of these really cool races. I mean, they're ones that I'd noticed before, but they'd always seemed out of reach to me. A wonderful former best friend suggested the Diva Dash 5K. I'd eyeballed the Leprechaun Chase 10K, but that sold out ridiculously quickly (something tells me it's related to it showing up in the February or March issue of RW??). And oh my god, if I had my way I would sign up for the Runner's World Half & Festival. And do the entire. Freaking. Thing.
...
Is that a belated runner's high talking? I can't tell.
A half marathon seemed like a dream - a dream fit for a princess. I don't even know how I got up the guts to sign up for the Princess Half, but I don't regret it for a second!
I used to think a marathon was crazy and WAY out of reach, and I couldn't imagine spending 5-7 hours of my life (all at once!) doing such a thing...
I used to think a half marathon... Well, I didn't really even think about half marathons, to be completely honest.
Four years ago I was a freshman in college. At this time of year I'd been engaged for just over two months, I was actually liking college (the first semester was a doozy), and I was trying to envision where life would take me, but I was still somewhat unsure.
I never ever ever saw my life taking this (literal) path.
But I'm along for the ride (or run, walk, and plane ride, as the case may be), and I'm loving it.
Bring it.
(Now to wait for the hubs to get home from class so we can go run together!) ☺
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
The last first day of my program!
I'm gonna be completely honest, I hope wasn't my last first day of a semester in my education ever. I think I mentioned a while ago that I'm currently waiting on a decision from three doctoral programs... I'd forgotten what it was like to just... Wait. I've been checking on my applications for over a month now, and the status shown online still says the same thing:
Submitted.
It's a relief to see that word when you're concerned about whether or not a test or homework assignment got turned in, but not when you would like it to say "Under Review". I'm hoping to find out something (positive) soon.
Today (that is, Monday, not Tuesday, since it's after midnight) was my first day back at school this semester. And my last first day for my current school program!
The day as a whole started off pretty nicely. Got to my internship, did our morning meeting, ran my group... Then I started on paperwork and I thought I was going to die.
Ok, not that bad, but long story short? Cramps + IUD don't mix. I kinda felt like I was being crushed from the inside.
I should clarify, now that I have the IUD my menstrual cramps don't feel like the usual menstrual cramps. Hell, if I have them I don't notice them. All I notice is THE SQUEEZING FEELING. Yes, all bolded, larger font, and in caps is a start at being sufficient enough to describe it. Note that I said "a start".
I ended up heading home before lunch to hopefully find some food I could stomach so I could take 800 mg of ibuprofen (yes, you read that correctly: 800 mg), and get some sleep with the hope that I wouldn't oversleep my first class back. Or, you know, vomit.
I have to say, nothing makes me feel quite as... Pathetic. Yes, pathetic. Nothing makes me feel quite as pathetic as knowing that not only did I bail early because I had cramps, but that I had to take a doctor-approved dose of a pain reliever (a pain reliever that often isn't recommended for runners, unless I'm mistaken - I've heard both ways) so that I would quit feeling like my uterus was about to be sucked out of me. Which already sounds forceful and gross and agonizing and all that other (not-so-) fun crap.
On the plus side, I restarted a book I'd read (and loved) previously. Any romance novel fans, Jennifer Crusie fans, or... I don't know how to define what Bob Mayer writes, but Bob Mayer fans... If you haven't checked out Agnes and the Hitman, I HIGHLY recommend it. Especially if you've got a good sense of humor. Southern mob, a hot hitman, good food, a dog named Rhett (yes, Rhett, as in Gone With the Wind Rhett), and swingin' frying pans!
Then I got my nap, and all was well.
As far as classes go, I'm really looking forward to this semester. Not just because it's my last semester before I graduate with my M.S. (knock on wood! Comps are next month!), but because so far classes are looking good! Granted, I've only got two classes this semester, and I've only had one. But the benefit to being so far along in my program is that my internship class? There are only 8 of us, if you include our (pretty cool) instructor. My Human Growth class is on Tuesday evenings, so I have yet to experience it, but I hear it'll be pretty easy. Mostly writing. And I took a Human Growth course in undergrad, so here's hoping that helps.
It's interesting, though: There's no required book for this class. The Blackboard shell isn't even online, so I don't know who is in my class, although with some hunting I can figure out how large the class is... It looks like there are 24 people (including myself) in the class.
My internship may very well end up leading to a job. I'm unsure of how I feel about it. On the one hand, I spend 30+ hours a week there, and it would be lovely to be paid for it. On the other hand, I know good and well that not only am I waiting on doctoral decisions, but that if I get accepted I may not be able to work there. Or if I do, it will have to be part-time - which I suppose isn't horrible. Let's be honest, that's not bad at all.
Now on to running!
What, you didn't think I could make it a whole post without talking about this journey, did you? ;)
Ok, ok, I thought I could, but we're getting down to crunch time with the countdown, and I'm just excited to be going to Disney next month! Everything is just under 45 days away. About 44 days and 23.25 hours, actually - according to the runDisney website, of course!
I didn't get a run in tonight like I'd planned. Too easily distracted by the fact that I'm making our running tutus. And they. Will. Be. AMAZING! I'm going to post pictures and everything when I finish them, because the ideas I've got are so exciting!
Another reason I *may* have put off running, in addition to a lack of time and all that fun jazz when compared to everything else going on right now, is probably nerves surrounding my lovely running fuel. Since Friday's awful post-run episode of GI distress, I've gotten a couple other types of running fuel to try. I've long since established that Gatorade is not my friend. I'm adding GU to that list, although I don't know if that includes the GU Chomps, which I'd already purchased. I've bought Hammer Nutrition gels (one in Apple-Cinnamon flavor, one in Tropical), and some Hammer Nutrition Perpetuem Solids in Strawberry-Vanilla, which I don't have to worry about mixing into a drink.
And excitement of excitement, Jelly Belly makes sport jelly beans! Now THOSE I'm excited to try!
There are some other brands of fuel I was looking to try. I've heard from lots of people that Honey Stingers is good, and that Nuun has really been nice for people with sensitive stomachs.
Speaking of supplements, I picked up some Calcium Magnesium Zinc, which my dermatologist suggested when I talked with him about the half a few months ago. He didn't tell me that they'd be so large!
(That's what she said)
Although I don't know what I was expecting. But it certainly wasn't to take 3 a day.
Before I go, I think I've decided on a new name for this blog. I'm thinking it's going to go from "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" to "A Runner in the Making". But it's been over a year so naturally I've grown attached to the current title of this blog, even though I don't dance even half as much as I used to. Not even close. I'm lucky if I'm gettin' down in front of the bathroom mirror nowadays.
Well, I've rambled on quite enough for the night. It's bedtime. Toodles!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
It's the most wonderful time of the year
A belated Happy New Year to everyone :)
Not too much is going on here in my neck of the woods. Just the usual life of a Master's candidate hell-bent on being a successful runner. Who wants to go to Disney.
Speaking of school, typing that made me realize that I graduate this year! Four months from Friday, if I'm not mistaken. But at this point in time it really doesn't feel like it's all that close.
I'm halfway done with my second internship, and I basically have until the end of April to get it taken care of. With any luck it won't be particularly difficult, seeing as it seems that I practically live here.
School starts on Monday. It seems so weird to say that. With any luck this won't be my last semester in school. I'm still waiting on my doctoral applications to be reviewed. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.
Regarding the running, DH and I officially kicked off our part of the Ultimate Moon Joggers challenge last night. We didn't get as much distance as we would've liked (he got 2 miles, I believe, and I got 3.33 - for the Ultimate we each need 5.5+ miles per day) but it was a start and we're going to work together to get in our miles. If we each only get 1000 miles this year instead of 2013 miles it won't be the end of the world, but we're gonna go hard because sometimes going home isn't the answer.
Last night I did my fastest 5K in 36-37 minutes. The exact time I couldn't say, since my shoe pod is a bit off, but I won't worry about specifics for now. The fact of the matter is that it's an improvement.
Disney's Princess Half Marathon Weekend is officially next month. Yes, you read that right. NEXT month. I'm... Unsure of how to feel about it.
On the one hand, I'm super excited. I know I can finish it, even if it ends up being a run-walk combination. I'm pretty psyched because I think I can get under the 3-hour mark if I keep this up. At least that's my hope. I've got 7.5 weeks to make it happen.
On the other hand, my brain is going "... You're kidding me, right? 13.1 miles? What the heck is wrong with you??????" And the nerves want to start.
Then I remind myself of the pin on Pinterest that says something to the effect of "That little voice that tells you you can't... Is a dirty lying whore." Or, you know, something to that effect ;)
On a more positive note, I booked all of our trip stuff with the exception of flights, which will be booked sometime within the next week - probably within the next few days, actually.
Disney level of readiness? Probably about 65%. Book flights, finish room and food reservation-type stuff, keep running, keep excitement up.
I'm running with a camera, if I can. And we're going to get so many pictures on and off the courses! And a few hours after the race were going to have lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table!
Not gonna lie, I think it's some funny mess. Cinderella is now a princess and she's going to be serving us our appetizer. Never mind that it's one that "she picked especially for us", the fact is she's going to be our server for a short time.
I hope I'll get that laugh out of my system before we get there.
Not much else is going on. Just running, school, and internship.
DH and I have been discussing the possibility of the Disneyland Half Marathon Weekend. I would love to get the Coast to Coast medal for doing at least two halves in one year, one at each resort. We'll just have to wait and see, no?
Not too much is going on here in my neck of the woods. Just the usual life of a Master's candidate hell-bent on being a successful runner. Who wants to go to Disney.
Speaking of school, typing that made me realize that I graduate this year! Four months from Friday, if I'm not mistaken. But at this point in time it really doesn't feel like it's all that close.
I'm halfway done with my second internship, and I basically have until the end of April to get it taken care of. With any luck it won't be particularly difficult, seeing as it seems that I practically live here.
School starts on Monday. It seems so weird to say that. With any luck this won't be my last semester in school. I'm still waiting on my doctoral applications to be reviewed. Hopefully I won't have to wait too much longer.
Regarding the running, DH and I officially kicked off our part of the Ultimate Moon Joggers challenge last night. We didn't get as much distance as we would've liked (he got 2 miles, I believe, and I got 3.33 - for the Ultimate we each need 5.5+ miles per day) but it was a start and we're going to work together to get in our miles. If we each only get 1000 miles this year instead of 2013 miles it won't be the end of the world, but we're gonna go hard because sometimes going home isn't the answer.
Last night I did my fastest 5K in 36-37 minutes. The exact time I couldn't say, since my shoe pod is a bit off, but I won't worry about specifics for now. The fact of the matter is that it's an improvement.
Disney's Princess Half Marathon Weekend is officially next month. Yes, you read that right. NEXT month. I'm... Unsure of how to feel about it.
On the one hand, I'm super excited. I know I can finish it, even if it ends up being a run-walk combination. I'm pretty psyched because I think I can get under the 3-hour mark if I keep this up. At least that's my hope. I've got 7.5 weeks to make it happen.
On the other hand, my brain is going "... You're kidding me, right? 13.1 miles? What the heck is wrong with you??????" And the nerves want to start.
Then I remind myself of the pin on Pinterest that says something to the effect of "That little voice that tells you you can't... Is a dirty lying whore." Or, you know, something to that effect ;)
On a more positive note, I booked all of our trip stuff with the exception of flights, which will be booked sometime within the next week - probably within the next few days, actually.
Disney level of readiness? Probably about 65%. Book flights, finish room and food reservation-type stuff, keep running, keep excitement up.
I'm running with a camera, if I can. And we're going to get so many pictures on and off the courses! And a few hours after the race were going to have lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table!
Not gonna lie, I think it's some funny mess. Cinderella is now a princess and she's going to be serving us our appetizer. Never mind that it's one that "she picked especially for us", the fact is she's going to be our server for a short time.
I hope I'll get that laugh out of my system before we get there.
Not much else is going on. Just running, school, and internship.
DH and I have been discussing the possibility of the Disneyland Half Marathon Weekend. I would love to get the Coast to Coast medal for doing at least two halves in one year, one at each resort. We'll just have to wait and see, no?
Friday, December 14, 2012
"We built this city on rock and roll!"
I must say, the last 24 hours have been extraordinarily good to me. I've been rocking out to Rock of Ages since I did my hair last night, hence the post title.
I relaxed my hair last night... Got it all nice for the hubs's graduation tomorrow! Now I can comb my hair without wanting to cry!! And I managed to come away with only one burn that doesn't really bother me, which is always nice when compared to the alternative. And it's easy to not realize just how long my hair has gotten, especially since last September it was chin-length(ish) in the front and a bit shorter in the back.
(See the picture included. My hair does not normally look that nice... This is easily the best relaxer I've ever given myself.)
Today was just all sorts of full of positive surprises.
At my internship I lead one of the (mental health) Relapse Prevention groups and... It went over SO much smoother than I'd thought it would. It's to the point where we're going over a lot of the same things each time, but it really depends on how you manage to spice it up. We spent a lot of time talking about triggers and how things can snowball from little problems to huge problems. Complete with a bad dry erase board drawing illustrating things snowballing, and verbal descriptions of what was going on throughout the day to encourage said snowball effect.
We were having grilled cheese for lunch (or rather, grilled ham and cheese), and I used that as one of the examples. Everyone in my group likes grilled cheese (as far as I'm aware. But who doesn't? Haha) and so one of the examples was "You get to lunch... And they've just run out! So now you're in an even worse mood."
And then, yes, lunch was grilled ham and cheese. It was wonderful. They also had vegetable beef soup, and one of the staff members has a box of the mini Premium-brand saltine crackers, and she shared :)
The exciting part to lunch (other than the sandwich, of course!) is that I'm learning names. There are about 300 consumers at our location, and I'm on a team to work with about a third of them... But it's important to know every consumer. And I was pretty on the ball with names. There are still some that I don't know, but it was really good. Better than a month ago, that's for sure.
In my recreational therapy group... I actually had people! It was right after lunch, so usually a lot of the people have headed home or are getting started with clean-up or something. One time I had only ONE person show up for the first 5-10 minutes.
That one's a hard one to navigate because I have TONS of activities to do, but I have to pay super close attention to how many people are in the group to determine what we can do. But today I had about ten people! The activity we did was just a fun 12-item survey about Christmas, which encouraged reminiscing. After we filled out our answers we talked and laughed, learning who's been hit in the face with a snowball, if anyone's ever seen a partridge in a pear tree, and who was ever afraid they would die when sledding. It was a great conversation piece.
Afterward I made my outreach calls and did my documentation, and now I have over 1/4 of the hours I need for my internship... By graduation time in MAY! I'm feeling good about this, and I didn't hear people griping at each other about who said what (ok, I did hear it, but I'm in such a good mood it's easy to forget, and there wasn't much of it anyway).
Then I learned how to lock up, even though the intern has no building keys (lol?), and bought me and my husband some of McDonald's Peppermint Hot Chocolate on my way home... Now if only he'd get here to drink his, because mine's almost gone and I'm not going to take his! I just love this stuff.
(And... A picture! Lol)
And to top it off, my husband's bringing me dinner. Nice, huh?
Oh, and my fudge and peanut brittle from two days ago that I fixed last night? Turned out wonderfully. Set just the way I wanted them to. I probably heated the peanut brittle a little too much, as there's somewhat of a smoky hint to it now... And maybe I should've lined the fudge pans with foul... But they're pretty good, so I'm not complaining!
(And... Yet another picture!)
Well, that's all, folks! Just another day in the life :)
I relaxed my hair last night... Got it all nice for the hubs's graduation tomorrow! Now I can comb my hair without wanting to cry!! And I managed to come away with only one burn that doesn't really bother me, which is always nice when compared to the alternative. And it's easy to not realize just how long my hair has gotten, especially since last September it was chin-length(ish) in the front and a bit shorter in the back.
(See the picture included. My hair does not normally look that nice... This is easily the best relaxer I've ever given myself.)
Today was just all sorts of full of positive surprises.
At my internship I lead one of the (mental health) Relapse Prevention groups and... It went over SO much smoother than I'd thought it would. It's to the point where we're going over a lot of the same things each time, but it really depends on how you manage to spice it up. We spent a lot of time talking about triggers and how things can snowball from little problems to huge problems. Complete with a bad dry erase board drawing illustrating things snowballing, and verbal descriptions of what was going on throughout the day to encourage said snowball effect.
We were having grilled cheese for lunch (or rather, grilled ham and cheese), and I used that as one of the examples. Everyone in my group likes grilled cheese (as far as I'm aware. But who doesn't? Haha) and so one of the examples was "You get to lunch... And they've just run out! So now you're in an even worse mood."
And then, yes, lunch was grilled ham and cheese. It was wonderful. They also had vegetable beef soup, and one of the staff members has a box of the mini Premium-brand saltine crackers, and she shared :)
The exciting part to lunch (other than the sandwich, of course!) is that I'm learning names. There are about 300 consumers at our location, and I'm on a team to work with about a third of them... But it's important to know every consumer. And I was pretty on the ball with names. There are still some that I don't know, but it was really good. Better than a month ago, that's for sure.
In my recreational therapy group... I actually had people! It was right after lunch, so usually a lot of the people have headed home or are getting started with clean-up or something. One time I had only ONE person show up for the first 5-10 minutes.
That one's a hard one to navigate because I have TONS of activities to do, but I have to pay super close attention to how many people are in the group to determine what we can do. But today I had about ten people! The activity we did was just a fun 12-item survey about Christmas, which encouraged reminiscing. After we filled out our answers we talked and laughed, learning who's been hit in the face with a snowball, if anyone's ever seen a partridge in a pear tree, and who was ever afraid they would die when sledding. It was a great conversation piece.
Afterward I made my outreach calls and did my documentation, and now I have over 1/4 of the hours I need for my internship... By graduation time in MAY! I'm feeling good about this, and I didn't hear people griping at each other about who said what (ok, I did hear it, but I'm in such a good mood it's easy to forget, and there wasn't much of it anyway).
Then I learned how to lock up, even though the intern has no building keys (lol?), and bought me and my husband some of McDonald's Peppermint Hot Chocolate on my way home... Now if only he'd get here to drink his, because mine's almost gone and I'm not going to take his! I just love this stuff.
(And... A picture! Lol)
And to top it off, my husband's bringing me dinner. Nice, huh?
Oh, and my fudge and peanut brittle from two days ago that I fixed last night? Turned out wonderfully. Set just the way I wanted them to. I probably heated the peanut brittle a little too much, as there's somewhat of a smoky hint to it now... And maybe I should've lined the fudge pans with foul... But they're pretty good, so I'm not complaining!
(And... Yet another picture!)
Well, that's all, folks! Just another day in the life :)
Saturday, December 8, 2012
Sometimes the hardest part is just getting out the door
I feel good right now.
I feel kinda tired, a bit pumped, definitely in need of a shower... But I feel pretty damn good.
I just got back from doing a run on the treadmill... The first structured run I've done since the day before Halloween. Which means that while I was definitely doing some moving around with Zumba Fitness Core on the Wii and some of the "Advanced Run" on Wii Fit Plus, I haven't really put myself out there.
I can't even pretend today's run was easy. The first fifteen minutes or so was gratifying. It really was. I ran for a total of about 25 minutes, walked more than I would consider ideal when I'm 75 days, 6 hours, and... 6-ish-minutes-by-the-time-this-is-posted away from running my first half marathon.
It was disappointing to only see about 2.5 miles shining up at me from the treadmill (or 2.81 miles, according to my watch... Yeah...) when I used to doing 4+, and have gotten up to 6+. But it makes me realize I've got to step it up.
I've got to put into it what I want to get out of it, and I refuse to be transported to that finish line on anything except for my own two legs.
But for real, I feel good right now. For the last month the hardest part for me has just been getting back into it. The day of that " Halloween Fun Run" in an October was a huge emotional blow (for a pretty big variety of reasons), and since then I've been working my butt off for my education.
But finally, FINALLY finals are next week. And I'm looking to do some self-care.
Which, let's face it: self-care is about more than taking care of your body. It's about taking care of your mind. Finding the necessary balance.
Dead Week was far more stressful than I would have liked for it to be. Getting in a huge paper, awaiting a presentation grade, giving a presentation, and just trying to get enough sleep.
And so we go back to focusing on balance (and maybe a hint of time management skills. Let's be honest, sometimes I just suck at that).
Alright, first step in the self-care bit?
I'm going to hop my happy hind-part into the shower.
I feel kinda tired, a bit pumped, definitely in need of a shower... But I feel pretty damn good.
I just got back from doing a run on the treadmill... The first structured run I've done since the day before Halloween. Which means that while I was definitely doing some moving around with Zumba Fitness Core on the Wii and some of the "Advanced Run" on Wii Fit Plus, I haven't really put myself out there.
I can't even pretend today's run was easy. The first fifteen minutes or so was gratifying. It really was. I ran for a total of about 25 minutes, walked more than I would consider ideal when I'm 75 days, 6 hours, and... 6-ish-minutes-by-the-time-this-is-posted away from running my first half marathon.
It was disappointing to only see about 2.5 miles shining up at me from the treadmill (or 2.81 miles, according to my watch... Yeah...) when I used to doing 4+, and have gotten up to 6+. But it makes me realize I've got to step it up.
I've got to put into it what I want to get out of it, and I refuse to be transported to that finish line on anything except for my own two legs.
But for real, I feel good right now. For the last month the hardest part for me has just been getting back into it. The day of that " Halloween Fun Run" in an October was a huge emotional blow (for a pretty big variety of reasons), and since then I've been working my butt off for my education.
But finally, FINALLY finals are next week. And I'm looking to do some self-care.
Which, let's face it: self-care is about more than taking care of your body. It's about taking care of your mind. Finding the necessary balance.
Dead Week was far more stressful than I would have liked for it to be. Getting in a huge paper, awaiting a presentation grade, giving a presentation, and just trying to get enough sleep.
And so we go back to focusing on balance (and maybe a hint of time management skills. Let's be honest, sometimes I just suck at that).
Alright, first step in the self-care bit?
I'm going to hop my happy hind-part into the shower.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Ranting & Raving.
I'm so glad this week is over.
Heads up, this is long. Kudos to anyone who makes it through.
It's been one stressful day after the next... I just need to take a moment to get it off my chest.
I've been doing in-home senior care for just under 2.5 years now. I've had the same client for just over two years.
While on a break between school portrait retakes and a group photo on Wednesday I got a call saying that there was a bit of a change and to call back the office when I got a chance.
Turns out my client is moving and my last day is to be Sunday - THIS Sunday. As in tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'm roaming around the school grounds, gathering ideas for the perfect class picture. I had a bunch of ideas. On the school sign, on different areas of the playground...
Get outside with the kids, and the teacher just axes all of my awesome ideas because "maybe with another group, you understand."
Uh, no, not really. Could you explain? Because I waited an hour and a half between MAYBE 10 retakes and being able to take a group picture, just to get everybody in this one spot.
But... I didn't say that. I just smiled and nodded like I got it.
At least I have some ideas for some playground shots to look for at other playgrounds.
Then Thursday... Oh, Thursday was a PAIN. I was trying to finish up my stuff for a big presentation later that day. I got a phone call saying that instead of Sunday, my last day with this client will be SATURDAY. As in, today. The day I'm typing this. This is my last day with my client :(
I finish my part of the presentation, meet with my classmate and the professor we're presenting with. We merge everything and iron it out, and give a pretty good presentation.
Afterward, this professor from another school comes up to me about how I offended her and she thought about getting up and leaving but she decided to stay and let me know, and she talks to me about her experience and how there are resources out in a certain area (I didn't say there WEREN'T, just a lack of resources in comparison to the MUCH larger area we're in) and how she KNOWS where all of her students are interning (um, no shit. If you're worth half your salt as a professor heading the internships, you BETTER know where your students are! DUH).
After she left I just cried.
I know, I know, thin skin.
I would've appreciated a frank conversation more than just getting reamed.
It was a relief to know how many people had my back, though. My professor told me how inappropriate her comments were and that he'd be calling her since she was nice enough to leave me both of her phone numbers.
The other girl I presented with later told me this lady's behavior was inappropriate because she couldn't even be bothered to wait until we were alone. She just came right up to me, pulled me away about two feet, and started going at it. Everyone else there acknowledged that we were a couple of students, not hardcore seasoned professionals.
And my internship professor, while empathetic and understanding, told me it's something I'll continue experiencing if I present in front of people, and even people at the top of the food chain get rude mess like that. She even mentioned one of her experiences.
Then by Friday (yesterday)... I was just done with this week. Instead of being upset about that lady, I'm just irritated. Annoyed.
I was running late to my internship (on top of other things there was a spider in my car... Ew...) but I never miss anything and as an intern there's only so much I can do anyway due to the fact that I'm not employed there. I had a doctor appointment that afternoon, and tried to figure out who I'd be on outreach with so I could iron it out with them. Well, I couldn't find the person I was looking for, so I explained the situation to the next person I could find (about why I was looking for her) and then to my supervisor, who was ok with it.
I finally found this person, explained it to her, and when I said I'd be leaving a few minutes earlier to try to get in earlier to get back sooner she told me to make sure I cleared it with the supervisor (which I had) and then had the nerve to turn away from me and mutter "I wish I could work like you do."
I stood there for a moment before walking away so I didn't ream her for that rude-ass comment. Because there are more than a few things to get straight:
- as an intern, I am unpaid.
- as an intern, there are limitations on what I can and cannot do.
- as an intern, I have busted my ass asking questions, trying to get things sorted out, doing what I can.
- my supervisors and I have had any number of discussions to figure out things so everybody benefits and I get my hours.
- as an intern, sometimes all I can do is sit at my desk and read my book for internship because there's nothing else I CAN so. One of the guys working in the department was in one of my classes and did his internship at the same agency, in a BUSIER department. Even HE acknowledges that sometimes being an intern is boring.
- I have NEVER missed anything on the days I'm there (going on outreach, etc.) and I do what I can to offer help despite my limited knowledge... But I'm also trying to stay out of people's way!
- I don't know what she does in her spare time, but I work two fucking jobs AND I'm a full-time graduate student, have NEVER been LESS than full-time AND I'm still getting in to my internship 2 days a week and any extra days I can, I just finished a major presentation and have two more major ones coming up, I have a half marathon to train for, AND I'm trying to make time for myself, my husband, and my friends so I don't go nuts. THAT is "[working] like [I] do".
Tonight, I think I'm going to take a moment to enjoy a glass of wine. Tomorrow I'm going to enjoy some time with my husband, possibly with a friend, maybe hit up the zoo and/or botanical gardens, and I'm going running.
Until then, I'm going to enjoy the last 4.5 hours I've got with my client, and we're gonna have a grand ol' time.
Nothing quite like working just like I do.
Heads up, this is long. Kudos to anyone who makes it through.
It's been one stressful day after the next... I just need to take a moment to get it off my chest.
I've been doing in-home senior care for just under 2.5 years now. I've had the same client for just over two years.
While on a break between school portrait retakes and a group photo on Wednesday I got a call saying that there was a bit of a change and to call back the office when I got a chance.
Turns out my client is moving and my last day is to be Sunday - THIS Sunday. As in tomorrow.
Meanwhile, I'm roaming around the school grounds, gathering ideas for the perfect class picture. I had a bunch of ideas. On the school sign, on different areas of the playground...
Get outside with the kids, and the teacher just axes all of my awesome ideas because "maybe with another group, you understand."
Uh, no, not really. Could you explain? Because I waited an hour and a half between MAYBE 10 retakes and being able to take a group picture, just to get everybody in this one spot.
But... I didn't say that. I just smiled and nodded like I got it.
At least I have some ideas for some playground shots to look for at other playgrounds.
Then Thursday... Oh, Thursday was a PAIN. I was trying to finish up my stuff for a big presentation later that day. I got a phone call saying that instead of Sunday, my last day with this client will be SATURDAY. As in, today. The day I'm typing this. This is my last day with my client :(
I finish my part of the presentation, meet with my classmate and the professor we're presenting with. We merge everything and iron it out, and give a pretty good presentation.
Afterward, this professor from another school comes up to me about how I offended her and she thought about getting up and leaving but she decided to stay and let me know, and she talks to me about her experience and how there are resources out in a certain area (I didn't say there WEREN'T, just a lack of resources in comparison to the MUCH larger area we're in) and how she KNOWS where all of her students are interning (um, no shit. If you're worth half your salt as a professor heading the internships, you BETTER know where your students are! DUH).
After she left I just cried.
I know, I know, thin skin.
I would've appreciated a frank conversation more than just getting reamed.
It was a relief to know how many people had my back, though. My professor told me how inappropriate her comments were and that he'd be calling her since she was nice enough to leave me both of her phone numbers.
The other girl I presented with later told me this lady's behavior was inappropriate because she couldn't even be bothered to wait until we were alone. She just came right up to me, pulled me away about two feet, and started going at it. Everyone else there acknowledged that we were a couple of students, not hardcore seasoned professionals.
And my internship professor, while empathetic and understanding, told me it's something I'll continue experiencing if I present in front of people, and even people at the top of the food chain get rude mess like that. She even mentioned one of her experiences.
Then by Friday (yesterday)... I was just done with this week. Instead of being upset about that lady, I'm just irritated. Annoyed.
I was running late to my internship (on top of other things there was a spider in my car... Ew...) but I never miss anything and as an intern there's only so much I can do anyway due to the fact that I'm not employed there. I had a doctor appointment that afternoon, and tried to figure out who I'd be on outreach with so I could iron it out with them. Well, I couldn't find the person I was looking for, so I explained the situation to the next person I could find (about why I was looking for her) and then to my supervisor, who was ok with it.
I finally found this person, explained it to her, and when I said I'd be leaving a few minutes earlier to try to get in earlier to get back sooner she told me to make sure I cleared it with the supervisor (which I had) and then had the nerve to turn away from me and mutter "I wish I could work like you do."
I stood there for a moment before walking away so I didn't ream her for that rude-ass comment. Because there are more than a few things to get straight:
- as an intern, I am unpaid.
- as an intern, there are limitations on what I can and cannot do.
- as an intern, I have busted my ass asking questions, trying to get things sorted out, doing what I can.
- my supervisors and I have had any number of discussions to figure out things so everybody benefits and I get my hours.
- as an intern, sometimes all I can do is sit at my desk and read my book for internship because there's nothing else I CAN so. One of the guys working in the department was in one of my classes and did his internship at the same agency, in a BUSIER department. Even HE acknowledges that sometimes being an intern is boring.
- I have NEVER missed anything on the days I'm there (going on outreach, etc.) and I do what I can to offer help despite my limited knowledge... But I'm also trying to stay out of people's way!
- I don't know what she does in her spare time, but I work two fucking jobs AND I'm a full-time graduate student, have NEVER been LESS than full-time AND I'm still getting in to my internship 2 days a week and any extra days I can, I just finished a major presentation and have two more major ones coming up, I have a half marathon to train for, AND I'm trying to make time for myself, my husband, and my friends so I don't go nuts. THAT is "[working] like [I] do".
Tonight, I think I'm going to take a moment to enjoy a glass of wine. Tomorrow I'm going to enjoy some time with my husband, possibly with a friend, maybe hit up the zoo and/or botanical gardens, and I'm going running.
Until then, I'm going to enjoy the last 4.5 hours I've got with my client, and we're gonna have a grand ol' time.
Nothing quite like working just like I do.
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