Marching away!

Yes, yes, that was my cheesy way of incorporating into the blog that it is now MARCH of 2013. And what an exciting month it has been so far! It's almost absurd how much excitement has been happening.

Also, as a heads up... My brain is working in bullet points in order to sort everything out. So it's all wrapped up in a nice, neat package... That is hardcore sealed with tape in every opening for security (and a little bit for fun, to watch people try to find a place to pry it open... Yes, I am THAT person at Christmas and on birthdays. No paper is left in tact when I'm around! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, random maniacal rant over)

• On March 1st (a week ago today) I took the written portion of the test that I need to pass in order to graduate with my Master's in May. I felt SO much better about that portion than I did about the CPCE (160 multiple choice questions). The sections I got were: Careers, Groups, Consulting, and Multicultural. Pretty much everyone I've talked to feels much better about their 4 essays than they did about the CPCE.
• I believe the scores you can receive are: high pass, pass, low pass, and no pass. You're only allowed one "no pass" for an essay, and if you get one then you have to redo that essay immediately. If you get more than one "no pass", well, you have to retake the entire written portion the next time it's offered - and in this case, that's in the fall. Which would delay graduation until December, if that were to happen. But I'm fairly confident in my essays, the only exception being Careers. Seriously, they talk to us about theories in the majority of our classes, but theories specific to Career Counseling?? They were only in that class. Go figure... But hopefully I'll find out soon!
• On March 4th I met with my internship supervisor and my instructor. It's always great to get compliments; my supervisor occasionally remarks that I'm probably the most prepared intern he's ever had.
• On that same token, one of my goals to work on (and one of my biggest insecurities regarding counseling) is theories. More specifically, working to identify my theoretical orientation, and learning more about it. I have a basic idea of the theory I mesh with best (CBT - Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) but often I find it hard to put into words. That and I barely got out of Theories with a B-. Originally I had a C+, but I emailed the professor and he bumped me up. If you get two C's in this program then you get put on academic probation. If you get three C's, you're out of the program. You can appeal your grades and all, but even without emailing my professor, I wasn't feeling especially confident in that particular class.
• On March 5th... Well, I went to class. And I spent time talking with one of the girls who works at my internship about possibly applying for the open position at my internship. She told me to think over it that night, but basically have my decision made the next day, because it's a vacant position they need filled and, while they like me, it'll probably get filled fast.
• That day I also went to our apartment complex office about a 2-bedroom apartment. No, nothing like a baby or anything, so don't get to freaking out! Just more space. A girl can only have so many bookshelves in a 1-bedroom apartment without tripping over stuff, right? And then I went and worked out, and I met someone in the fitness room! It was weird, he was nice AND he actually talked to me! Not usually something I get while in the fitness room, that's for certain.
• March 6th... I spoke to my site supervisor about the open position. She told me to get on the paperwork. I forget what else happened.
• March 7th (this being yesterday) my site supervisor gave me a copy of the application, and told me I basically already had the job but that I still had to fill out the paperwork. And shortly thereafter I had a staff member tell me "welcome aboard". Which reminds me, we have a new staff member on my team. She's beyond nice, and she was excited to hear that I was taking the open position.
• Even better! I got home, saw that there was mail from the department at school... The hubs had to open the letter for me, I was so nervous... But I passed the CPCE! Which means that assuming that the essays turn how how I'd like them to, I'm graduating May 4!!!!!
• Oh, and to top it all off, a book I've been waiting on finally came out. It was 2.5 months past the original deadline, due to author illness, but I'm so excited for it. I finished it tonight, and I'm looking forward to when the final book in the trilogy comes out in April or May.
• If I haven't mentioned... I'm a sucker for romance novels. The book I've been waiting on is called Armando Returns, and it's by Reeni Austin.
• Aaaaaaand today, March 8... I turned in my application for the position, as well as a copy of my resume. AT about 10:15 this morning, less than two hours after I turned everything in, I got a call from HR confirming my acceptance of the position, some super basic information, and that my official start date is Monday! See also: I'm going to be getting PAID to do what I've been doing the last few months. Also, more responsibilities, but no big. Bring it on!
• Unfortunately this means that I'll be switching teams and will be working with different consumers than I've been working with the last 4.5 months. That is, I'll be working with the same people, but less intimately with some and more intimately with others. It's disappointing, but I'll look at it as an opportunity for growth. And I know the new staff on my (original) team loves the team, and that she'll be great.

I have my first full-time job! I feel like such a big girl now! ☺

And that's the previous week of my life in a nutshell, basically. Also, tomorrow I'll (hopefully) be attending a counseling conference on campus. I'm excited, they JUST started offering it free to students. I was going to try to go before they announced that, but now I'll definitely be trying to go.

Finding happiness. Part 1

The last couple of weeks have just been pretty up and down for me.

OBIL's birthday was last Monday (July 4th), so DH and I went to lunch with the ILs, and then we all shot off fireworks together.
...
There's nothing I hate more than when everyone's together trying to have a good time and someone wants to be a total buzzkill.
That is, someone wants to be with you while you're doing everything, but they don't actually want to DO anything. They just sit or stand there, and then complain.

Now, I'm sure I've had a few instances where that's happened (with me being the culprit), but it still irks me when it happens.

Earlier that day before we went to lunch with the ILs, I moved the majority of the rest of my stuff out of my dad's house.
Why?
Because his wife wanted my room to store extra clothing. Supposedly "winter" clothing, but really just extra stuff.

I'm assuming she'd been giving him hell about it.
But WHY? The closet she and my dad share is twice the size of the one I share with DH, AND she has more drawer space than we do, and we still manage to make everything fit.
And I assure you, I have a LOT of clothing. And shoes.

She even had the gall to pack up a box of what she assumed was my stuff and put it in my room - really, it was some of my sister's stuff.

I don't understand how someone can take advantage of the fact that another person is lonely. She frustrates me with all the stuff that she does - or, for that matter, DOESN'T do.
And she knows good and well that she would raise hell if my father treated her kids the same way that she's had the nerve to treat me. I can guarantee that when her oldest hellion moves out of the house, she'd have a fit if my father suggested or said that she needed to move ALL of her stuff to her own place.

Let me clarify:
"All of her stuff" is the equivalent to every childhood thing for the last however-long.
In my case that's the nearly-21-years of my life, most of which is now sitting in the living room floor at our 1-bedroom apartment. That's at least 4 moves from by the Air Force (that I can REMEMBER), one move out of base housing, high school and graduation, and then 3 years at college (but not including the graduation because we had an apartment by then, all of a day). That's NOT including a tub of stuffed animals, a tub of Barbies (yes, I still have them... no clue why), the new set of luggage I bought for myself and DH after Thanksgiving because we don't need them yet, the Christmas ornaments DH got me for Christmas, the stuff I had to put in storage because I'm pretty sure she's not willing to put ANY of her crap into storage, and a few other odds and ends. Like my very first TV, which actually still works quite well (I know this because I took all 13 inches of it to college my first year) and therefore there's no need to get rid of it if you need to put another TV elsewhere.

And for the last week and a half I've been sitting in the apartment (when I'm not with a client), staring at the giant piles that have to go somewhere.
Like Goodwill.

Because where else will I be able to fit nearly 21 years of my life, 2 elementary schools, 2 middle schools, 1 high school, and one college, into a one-bedroom apartment?
DH and I purposely decided not to spend the extra $50/month to rent a garage, and if we had it would've been for one of our cars - probably mine.

And after multiple moves in my life, I can pack quickly... But that doesn't mean I like doing it.
That also doesn't mean I like to unpack.
And I know how much of this stuff will be going to Goodwill.
We finally took 2 boxes of our wedding stuff to Goodwill (see also: the stuff we shouldn't have gotten back in the first place), and we bags and excess of my stuff. Clothing. Shoes. Old prom dresses (which I suppose it was time for them to go anyway).

Now I have to decide on other clothes and whether or not I want to get rid of them.
Like the shirts that my dad and I paid for, from marching band, from varsity choir. The sweatshirts from said groups.
It's easier to get rid of things when you don't think about the memories invested in them.

Some people make them into quilts.
I have no idea how to quilt. And we already have enough blankets here, including at least one quilt that my dad's mom made - which we probably have with us as a guarantee that my dad's wife wouldn't trash it if given the opportunity.

I've also got a picture frame that I've had since not too long after I was born. With my name on it, a teddy bear (I've always loved teddy bears), and a poem. I think it was the "Sugar and spice and everything nice" poem.
I've also got a frame that my sister gave me around my tenth birthday that, again, has my name and a bear on it, and it breaks down good qualities, things that I "am" or "have."
And, well, there's the frame with a picture of the Sailor Scouts on it (yes, the Sailor Scouts).
Those 3 frames have been with me for the last decade. If not on my dresser then on the wall, or both.

Where are you supposed to put childhood things like that, things that clearly belong in a childhood bedroom and that were given with good intent, honesty, and lots of thought? I mean, a picture of the Sailor Scouts probably doesn't belong hanging up in the bedroom I share with my husband, or on the dresser I've had ever since I was born that's now in our bedroom (complete with the stickers I stuck on the side in elementary school, but you'll never see them unless you go in our closet).
I guess I could put the frames with my name on the wall above my desk, but that's just borderline overkill with hanging things up above my desk.

Somehow I've got to figure out how to merge the life I had as a child and the life I'll be leading as an adult.

Last I checked, when you live together you have to make some adjustments.

I've gotten past the stage of being angry at my dad's wife for myself.
Like when I rang the doorbell and then waited for about 3 minutes for her to open at, at which point she just handed me my mail and closed the door. And apparently didn't pay attention to the fact that the dog managed to get outside, so she had to open the door to let him in. And she said nothing to me. Just called the dog and then kept on going.
That angered me, but this is nothing new.
I should've been boiling FURIOUS.
But honestly? As much as it kinda irritates me, like a mosquito bite (and trust me, I scratch those. can't help it!), I'm kind of over it. Because she's whatever to me, at least in that sense.

Instead what infuriates me is how she is with my dad.
In public she's no nice to people. The fake-ness of it all it just disgusting. DH and I saw them at a public picnic last week, and she was just smiling away at everybody.
I have a picture of her and my dad at my wedding dancing. My dad looked happy to be with her.
And she looked equally happy to be with him.
I figured, "Oh, maybe there's just something I'm not seeing."
But I've always known what she's like. And I will always be a daddy's girl and stick up for him. And I know when something's not right.

The fact is that my dad will stick up for me as best he can without pissing her off because, let's face it, he has to live with her. I know that. I accept that.
My dad doesn't like arguments. My dad's a good guy. There's no way around that.

Sorry, this wasn't supposed to turn into a blog about my frustrations about the evil thing that my father married because he was lonely and thought she would make him happy.
But I guess that's where my thoughts have led.

Day after day I stare at the piles of stuff in our living room. And it depresses me to know that I have to clean it up. But I also don't WANT to. Because when this stuff goes to Goodwill, well, that's pieces of MY life that I'm throwing out. It's not just throwing out bits and pieces at a time because I know I won't use them or because the clothes won't fit or because it's now meaningless to me.
And I don't really have hoarding tendencies. Trust me, I try to avoid that. Actually, I prefer to have places clean.
In all reality, it's really not that much (when I count out the bags of recycling that the hubs forgot to put out yesterday. Oi...).
But going through it, alone... it's just rather daunting.
The past two days I had a friend over, to keep me company while I cleaned.
Granted, nothing got done yesterday because work took hours longer than I expected. But the day before? progress was made. Last week? I had another friend over, and a lot of progress was made.

I know that moving is considered a "major life event."
Where does this fall? Because technically DH and I already had our own place.
But at our parents' we each had our own bedrooms.
Granted, DH's room now has an exercise bike in it, in addition to the rest of his stuff. And he stayed in that room years longer than I stayed in mine - at least 5 years longer.

Now my bedroom, the bedroom that my dad, my brother, and I painted the perfect shade of sky blue after I hunted and hunted through all the paint samples, is going to be turned into a guest bedroom.
If "we need a guest bedroom" was the initial reason for it, I wouldn't be as bothered as I was by "She needs space to put her clothes." I mean, there was a bunk bed in that room. Full-size mattress on the bottom, but nonetheless there was metal above your head when you woke up. And if you weren't used to it, well, I'm sure that would hurt a lot if you woke up and sat straight up.

I dunno, I guess it just hurts.

I'll get over it at some point. I hope.
Maybe when the evidence of it all isn't just sitting in our living room floor.

It's not always roses and gravy.

Not like roses and gravy go together, of course.

I just got to thinking last night before bed that, even though I knew living together things wouldn't go perfectly, for some reason it was a surprise when not everything was perfect.

For starters... I hate unpacking. Always have, always will. I hate it when I have to unpack after coming back from a trip. Unpacking after moving is even worse, because then you have to find places to put everything.

And unpacking after moving in together is far more unpleasant than that. We have to find places for everything, and make sure that these places work with each other.
At my dad's the kitchen was organized by me. I put everything where it made sense, where I wanted it, and I made sure things stayed that way.
Peanut butter, open and unopened, went in the snack cabinet.

Now our peanut butter has 2 places. Our snack cabinet isn't very large, because we really don't do all that much with snacks. But because our snack cabinet is full, the peanut butter is now with the rest of the food - canned goods, pasta sauce, etc. And he refrigerates his peanut butter! I don't know if it's because of the kind of peanut butter or if that's just because it's how he's always done it, but he tried to refrigerate my peanut butter!

It's just interesting trying to figure out how to work things out so that it's all *us*.

And FH got all of his wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. So Friday night he stayed with his parents, because I had work early Saturday and would've had to be up every half hour for gauze changing and whatnot.
I learned very early on in our relationship, when we got to the point we were comfortable napping with each other, that sleeping along is, well, lonely.
...
And we have a queen-size bed, so Friday night was just horribly lonely. I piled all of our big pillows on his side of the bed.
Then last night I was in bed at 10:30 or 11 because I worked and went shopping with FMIL, and my back was killing, but he had to be up an extra hour or so because he had to take some medicine at midnight for his teeth (or lack thereof, I guess). So I went to bed alone. Granted, he came to bed a bit later, but it was still kinda lonely.

There's a difference between sleeping on a twin-size bed alone and sleeping on a queen-size bed alone.
And if you do it right, you can comfortably fit two people on a twin-size bed - without worrying about pushing one off the bed.
Yes, you read that right. A twin-size bed. He's 6'3" and I'm 5'9", and the two of us can fit in a twin-size bed and not want to push the other off for more space.

On that note, Rent is on TV. I'm gonna go watch that and sing along in my head.
And forget about the fact that I feel like I'm working like a crazy person to make sure everything works, or the fact that I feel like nothing's coming together like it should.
Hello, wedding music? What wedding music.

Yeah yeah yeah, people keep telling me that everything will work out. I even tell myself this.
My only question is: WHEN??????????

It's been a long time. Well, sorta.

Ok, so it's only been about a week since I've posted, but I really feel like it's been so much longer.

FH and I moved into our apartment on Friday. The view is certainly something else.

I'm not going to lie, though, the moving has been a pain in the butt.

But it was an eventful weekend! First moving, then seeing a baseball game that night! Now, normally I don't like baseball, but I had fun.
And the tickets were completely free, which was kinda weird, but we definitely enjoyed it!
FH and I also got our marriage license that morning. You know, before the packing and unpacking, and sweating it out.

And it seems like nothing is going according to plan.

I'm more than a little frustrated.
I've been getting called for work more often now, which is awesome. My next paycheck will be looking quite nice. And I should've taken some of the other offered jobs, except for the fact that then it would've left me either half an hour or an hour and a half between shifts!

I feel like I keep nitpicking about everything, and not just about work. I have to remind myself that I'm learning to live with someone, and I haven't had to do that in 2 years because I lived with the same 3 females last year that I did the year before!

I have noticed that there are some things that are my way or the highway... And I've stopped to think about whether these things are really all that important. And while they may not be "all that important," they do bug the hell out of me.
So like a good little girl, I speak my mind now because if I don't then I know there will be hell later when I finally lose my mind.

And let's face it, I despise cleaning. But I like having clean places.

I graduated from college on Saturday. To make a quick summary of it:
I got there at 8:15 for line up, stood around until ten, my feet hurt, I got my diploma cover and smiled, there was a wasp on the kid in front of me (FREAKY!!!!!), a kid in my row killed the wasp with his diploma cover and the other guy's mortarboard, I strutted back out for the recessional (and I do mean strutted. There's this wedding picture of my sister and her husband where she looks smug as can be - I'm pretty sure I had the same facial expression).

Apparently I can't post that picture, so instead here's a picture of me and one of my roommates!

Oh, how I miss cheese and potato time... And we match, too! But I'll be seeing her in a couple of weeks, so it's all good!

Now that graduation's over, it's been about getting back to work.
And cleaning. Ugh.

Our place isn't anywhere near as much of a mess as it used to be. Thank God.
The mound by our front door has greatly diminished, but I still have some work to do on it since it's my stuff.
At least, it was last I checked. LOL I'm sure FH doesn't have a bag of nail polish.

And now for a quick wedding vent from yours truly:
Why don't people send in their RSVPs on time?
Let's face it: my dad's the one paying for the food, so it's not like it's my money.

But at the same time, why should I waste my father's money because someone has decided not to stick a pre-stamped card in the mail with their name(s) and a number on it.
For that matter, why should I waste my father's money at all? That'd be rude of me, and it's frustrating when the RSVP date was a few days ago.

Granted, the date was Sunday so I've got to give it some slack there.
And slack I give.
But for real. I don't like surprises, and neither does my father. And at $13/person, surprises of extra people showing up are NOT good surprises on the checkbook, no matter how nice it would be to see them (that is, see the people).

On top of other things, but we're not even going there.

Well, now it's movie time and Starbucks for Frappuccino Happy Hour with one of the roomies and then more of us just being AWESOME!

"On the road again. Sing it with me, Shrek! I can't wait to get on the road again."

Well, Donkey might have been anxious to get "on the road again," but if we're being completely honest... I think i'll do just fine without it.

Don't get me wrong, I love traveling, but when you're packing to go anywhere - especially when you're moving! - it's pretty much just one big pain in the tuckus (check out an episode or two of The Nanny if you don't know what that means).

Ok, so let's see...
Apparently FH forgot that we were going to go apply for our marriage license on move-in day. We discussed this and agreed on it, and when I mentioned it to him today he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head. Lovely.
We figured it out, though, and we're going to try to meet at the courthouse in the morning right when it opens, before heading to the apartments to sign the lease.

We actually got our first wedding gift yesterday! I was exciting, and so nice and unexpected. I'd planned on not working at my job close to school after graduation, and have only been there since January and I only started actually getting hours in the last month. I figured when my boss said "gift" that it was something small as a sort of "thank you for working" type gift. Nope, it was two fruit bowls! They're actually quite pretty. I might actually have to start buying fruit!
And then to go with that... a thread I'd read talked me into peeking at our registry, and I saw that somebody had bought us a gift... of course, target.com is lame because they won't let me look at the overview to see *if* anything was bought, so I actually clicked to see *what* was bought, and to my surprise there actually was something purchased! and the best part is that what was purchased... wasn't fruit bowls! So someone else got us a gift! It's all kind of exciting!

I finished my finals yesterday. I am so glad to be DONE! I'm done with my undergrad, and I'll be walking in the ceremony on Saturday at 10 in the morning! I'm so excited!
... Although I'm a little irritated. I missed points on a final that I shouldn't have missed, because I was waiting on someone to do their job... It's a long story, and I really don't want to get into it.

I'll miss my roommates, but if we're being truthful?
...

I'm perfectly ok not having to room with girls ever again. EVER. AGAIN.
Don't get me wrong, I love them. But there are some things that I have just had ENOUGH of.
Who seriously moves someone else's stuff into a room they share with someone without asking? There's a whole lot MORE to that story, but I'll save you the drama.
I got the head's up while I was out to dinner with FH, FMIL, and FBIL (the younger one, that is), and I swear my head about exploded.

But I'm all moved out, so I shouldn't let it bug me. But still! This mess is FAR too ridiculous.

Anyway, we're moving into our apartment tomorrow, and I couldn't be more excited!
At the same time, however, I'm starting to get into my "Ech, I'm over it" mode. I'm assuming that's the lack of sleep talking, but we DID just move a ton of stuff today.
FH made two separate trips with my stuff before my dad came and then we all left with a load (well, mine was technically just a trunk-full). I almost feel weird saying that, and then I remember that we lived in a dorm that was more like an apartment. So in addition to movies, books, clothes, and stuff of that sort, I also have bathroom stuff and a bunch of kitchen stuff.

On Sunday FH took my engagement ring back from me after I got off work. And then either Monday or Tuesday (somewhere along those lines) he took it and my wedding rings to the jeweler to get everything soldered.
I should have them back no later than the 12th! So essentially 6 days, if you count that it's the end of the day.

FMIL and I may be looking for her dress for the wedding this weekend. No idea what we're looking for, though.

Random question: what do you buy as a Mother's Day gift for someone who isn't very feminine and would probably prefer a mop bucket to a diamond necklace or bracelet? (more specifically, someone who would prefer something USEFUL).

Two of FH's wedding presents came in the mail! I'm really excited to see them. I didn't open one, and I took a quick peek in the packaging of the other one so that he wouldn't see what I got him.

You know, I'll have more to say next time I post (which hopefully won't be as long of a wait as it was for this particular post), but right now I'm just exhausted.

Here's hoping that everything goes smoothly when we go to move into the apartment in just over 8 hours!

"Well, we're movin' on up to the east side..."

This weekend was a pretty interesting one as far as timelines.

And freaking out, but that's for later.

FH and I move into the apartment 3 weeks from this past Friday.

I graduate 3 weeks from this past Saturday.

And we get married 6 weeks from yesterday.

I'm excited, but I'm still nervous.

We've got things planned out, what's going on when.

FH and i are looking into joining accounts later this week - or at least some of them. I think what may end up happening is that we end up with one credit card (or two, not quite sure), we share one checking account and one savings account, and then I believe that we'll each have our own checking accounts from there.

We'll have to figure out how that's going.

I'm sick of people having hissyfits about my shoes for the wedding.

They're not the ones wearing them, and if they really don't like them then they don't have to look. I'm not getting my dress hemmed just so you don't have to look at my shoes the entire time.

Think of it this way: If you're staring at my shoes the whole time then either they look good or you need to get out for being more concerned about my damn shoes than the fact that my sweetie and I are getting married.

And they need to quit making assumptions about them. I'm tired of having to defend my decisions. Mind you, I've told very few people, if any, anything shoes-related.

The end.

I don't know why I suddenly realized this (as opposed to thinking about it ages ago), but my last big paycheck is this week. I mean from the job I'm keeping, where I get the majority of my hours.

I'm still going to get my paychecks from the job I have on-campus as well as the one that I have closer to the school, but combined they won't be as large as the one that I'm expecting this coming week.

And I won't get another (larger) paycheck until two days after we move in.

Oh, and get this: I CAN'T FIND MY PAPERWORK TO TURN IN FOR MY HOURS!!!!! Which means if I can't find that... I don't know if they'll pay me until two days AFTER FH and I move in to our apartment. WHAT THE HECK!!!

Rent. Pet deposit. Utilities. No pet rent each month, based on the fact that we get at least that much discounted for being students.

Thankfully we'll have some groceries and whatnot taken care of.

And for everything else, there's Dollar Tree! (you'd be surprised what worthwhile things you can find - just don't buy the garbage bags, because $1 for 6 or 7 bags is a waste of money, to be completely honest)

We still need a shower curtain.

Yeah, I'm getting sick of counting. That's really about all I've been doing. I guess once the pet deposit is taken care of then it won't be as bad, but then after the wedding there's, let's see... insurance. Car insurance. Health insurance. Renters insurance.

I'm so glad my class at 8 was cancelled.

I have work tonight at 6:30.

And there's nothing like realizing that you're really getting ripped off when you go to work. Nothing like it at all.

But we're not going to go into detail about all of that.

For now... I just want my advisor to pick up the phone so that she can remove my academic advising hold - mind you, she told me that I would NOT need to talk to her in order to sign up for classes. Gee, THANKS!

My advisor's sweet, but they WOULD give me the lady who can't pick up the phone or reply to emails.

I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE AN IDEA OF WHAT I'M DOING NEXT SEMESTER, THANK YOU!!!!!

I'm ready for something positive to happen. Like my advisor picking up the phone. I've seriously been calling her about every five minutes or so. I'm sick of this.

"The rest is still unwritten..."

I find that in a relationship, at least in ours, compromise is something fairly important.

FH and I will be moving into our first apartment right between finishing finals and my college graduation. Our biggest issue with the whole moving situation is the furniture discussion. As I've previously mentioned we'll be getting a lot of my parents' furniture.
But as I found out today, even though FH and I discussed the furniture situation and he didn't mind us getting it to start out, apparently he felt that everything in the apartment was going to be "me" and there would be no sign of "him" anywhere in there... Talk about a way to start out a marriage.

As a wedding present and because his parents aren't helping out with the wedding, they bought us a washer and dryer. Which is cool, because clean clothes are awesome - especially clean clothes where you don't have to trek to the main building in 3 feet of snow just to get them.
Well today FH told me that they would also help us out with other stuff if we'd like - desk, dining set, TV stand, TV...

One of our issues in the "there's no space for me" deal is the fact that, if we're being completely honest, our apartment IS small. And we're a bit confined because it's apparently cool to stick an angled fireplace in the room.
Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fireplace, and I'm sure we'll enjoy lots of snuggle time in front of it in the future. But when we're trying to figure out where things go, an angled fireplace in a small living room is a pain in the butt. And it ate up any maneuvering we wanted to do with having a computer desk and a dining room table.

For us, a desk is a fairly important thing. Even though I'm graduating in less than a month, I'm going back to school. FH will be working on his undergrad for at least another year. A computer's pretty important, and in addition to our laptops FH also has a desktop that he keeps EVERYTHING on (and when I say everything, I mean there is nearly 120 GB of music in his iTunes. It's pretty ridiculous, yet awesome).

But I also feel that a table is important. Yeah, I don't eat at a table all that often (the couch is comfier!), and I don't need one that's large by any means... But I want to be able to eat breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner at the table with my husband if we decide to. I don't want to be stuck to just eating on the couch, or using TV trays or something. I feel like that would take away something important - and, you know, increase the potential for the dog to come up and steal our food! (I've had the dog try to steal my chicken alfredo before. I was not pleased, as I was gone for maybe 10 seconds - and could still see him)
I guess you're saying that a table isn't a big deal, but I like being able to eat dinner at the table with my husband on our anniversaries, on our birthdays, on special days. But I also like curling up with him.
Oh, and maybe I'm weird but I don't think a dining room table belongs at the front door. I just wasn't feeling that idea too much.

We discussed putting the computer in the bedroom - which neither of us want, because inevitably someone will be up in the middle of the night working on an assignment last minute (yeah, probably me!)... And his desktop glows. A glowing CPU is cool, but lights keep me awake. They bug me. A lot.
So like I said, neither of us want that.

However, for a first time apartment we don't have all that much space. Clothing and everything, yes, there will be plenty of space. We're pushing our luck with the bookshelves, but we can do it. But when you add the rest of the furniture then space is just literally eaten up - mostly by the couch and love seat!

So we decided to go look at furniture today, and see what we liked, what we didn't like, what we love, what we hate, and what works with the space we've been allotted.

After plenty of hunting, me seeing in person what the washer and dryer we have looks like (but in a different color!), lunch and a Burger King shake that was LOADED with strawberry syrup (sad day!), and a trip resulting in me getting home an hour later than I expected to work on taxes, we've come to an agreement.
I'll be the first to tell you that I hate most of the desks in stores. Frilly and frou-frou bug me. I don't like wood too dark. I don't like it too light. Too tall, too big, too small, filing drawers, not enough desk drawers...
I'm an organizer at heart, if I have the space.

We finally found a desk we could agree on, and one that would even give me some desk space, space for my printer(s) in addition to his, and an area to put a floor lamp in.

After some hunting we also found a dining table we liked that wasn't obnoxiously large (3'x3') and came with little stools that you can push all the way under the table when you're not using them to save space.

We also drew visited the apartment complex to view the model and get complete measurements (ours will be slightly larger than the model) so we could draw in what we're working with to get a more accurate idea.

The funny thing is, this whole apartment... "event," if you will, with us trying to compromise...
It sounds a lot like us trying to find flatware.
Because even on something as "small" as flatware, we wanted more of a compromise than just to pick something out. I had a relative tell me to put flatware on our registry, despite me telling her at least twice that we were NOT going to put it on there because we wanted to pick out our own flatware. It's nice that people want to help us out, but I'd rather not have us stuck with something one of us hates and the other likes for the next 20+ years. That's just not cool. And it's small things like that, like one hating something and the other liking it, that could eventually snowball into some kind of resentment for what FH was concerned about earlier: there being *none* of one person in the place.
Because what do you do if everything is of one person and there's nothing of the other or of the couple in your life?

And if we're being real?
It takes two to have a marriage (unless you're fundamentalist LDS or something, but you know what I mean).

She's Like the Wind

(Ahh, the title from a Patrick Swayze tune. I love the movie Dirty Dancing. And yes, Patrick Swayze actually DID sing this song.)

So, um... I'm getting married in 50 days! Talk about exciting :)

It's interesting to think about all the things that are coming together - and scary to think about those that haven't.

For instance, with graduation coming up, I really need to step up my hunt for a full-time job. I've put in a few applications for jobs that I really wouldn't mind, in addition to the one I already do on the weekends, but I haven't heard anything back.

It's especially frustrating, because I'm so qualified for one of the jobs I applied for that it's ridiculous. I have experience doing exactly what they need! ... But wouldn't I have gotten called a week or so ago for an interview, if that's the case? I applied a month ago...

On that note, as a college student preparing to graduate and get married, I actually have 3 jobs right now. But I'll only be able to hold onto one of them after graduation. It's kind of hard to tutor on campus when you won't BE on campus, isn't it? And the other job, well, I'd be driving an hour down the road to get to it.
The one an hour away is like the job that I DO plan to keep: there is never any guarantee for hours. I have a steady client every weekend, but if we're being real with each other, clients don't last forever.

Man, that's depressing. Especially since my client is super sweet.

On to happier notes! Later today FH and I will be taking ANOTHER tour at our new apartment complex! He told me last night that he thinks the office is getting irritated with him. This is our third visit. The first one was by ourselves. The second included my dad, his younger brother, and his parents, just to see what they thought of our top pick. And now this one, after we've applied and put down a deposit, been accepted, and have our new address(!!), this tour will be so we can physically measure what's going on with the room. There's a difference between being given a copy of the floor plan of our apartment and actually being able to measure what fits.

We have a fireplace :)

If there's enough space, I would love nothing more than to bring in a couple recliners, put them in front of the fireplace, and read with my future hubby and have Domino sleeping in front of us :)

It's amazing to see what's coming together, and how people have your back.
I know since my dad brought his now-wife into the picture, our relationship crapped out. Hardcore. Which is hard, because I've always been Daddy's Little Girl. And this woman and I REALLY don't like each other. Her younger daughter and I are ok. Her older daughter hates me and, if we're being honest, I don't give a damn. There is no requirement for her to like me. Although I have to say, since she wants to be rude enough to ignore me, even when I say "hi" or that I'm taking the dog she supposedly really likes to the vet to see if his vision is ok, then I'll be damned if she shows her behind up at my wedding.

But since my dad has remarried and my mother is no longer alive, my dad said that I can point out whatever old furniture of theirs that FH and I want, and we can have it. Well, most likely have it. Right now it's highly likely we'll be getting the furniture in the den (couch and love seat), as well as my parents' old bed.
My dad and i are also going to get out my mom's old dresser. Before mom got sick 20 years ago (yes, my life) they had plans to refinish her dresser together. So he and I are going to do that. I thought about including FH on it, but I think this is a father-daughter project and that it should remain that way.
Bittersweet, but I'm really looking forward to it.
The only question now is how to redo it. It's sort of this antique white, which is really pretty. It's been that color all of my life, and I don't know how I feel about changing it. I don't know if I want to do an update of that color, or if I want something more wood-toned...

What do you do when you take something of your dead mother's and change it completely?
I mean, it's not like I'm chopping it up or anything. It's just... weird to think about, I guess. My mother's been dead about 8.5 months, and some days it feels like I can just drop by the assisted living facility and go see her. Other days it feels like it's been ages since she's been gone.

...
I don't know what I'll do for my birthday this year. Or if my birthday will ever feel the same. Because once midnight hits at the end of my birthday, then it'll be the anniversary of the day we pulled my mother off what was essentially life support.

I try to think of this positively, because my mother never wanted to be on life support. But at the same time, we pulled my mother off life support the day after I turned 20. 6 days before my sister turned 27. And no matter how you think about it, it still comes with a sucky feeling. Because that stroke ruined what I had left of my mother.

I'm going to go now. I had free time to type this because my client is asleep, but if I'm being honest... Crying at work is no good. And I have no desire to start.

Ahh, life.
Life is.
(You complete that sentence, if it feels incomplete to you.)