I have decided...

I want to go ahead and do the wedding planner course.

I've looked at a few websites, and the one I'll likely end up going with (due to price, as well as other things) is:
https://www.aa-wp.com/wedding-planning-course/order-wedding-planning-course/info/
The American Academy of Wedding Professionals.
$79/month for 6 months.
Sure beats the $137.50/month for 12 months that The Wedding Planning Institute was going to charge WITH books ($124.50/month for 12 months withOUT the books).

We'll see how it goes. I've thought about this for a while, and the idea of actually doing it is pretty cool.

I'm going to think it over a bit more. I mean, rent's been taken care of and all, but gotta make sure we're good on next month's rent as well (nothing like planning ahead!), and then there's the coming holiday season.

I do feel like everything will eventually work out fine. I just hope that my feeling isn't wrong, and that "eventually" isn't too far away over the horizon.

I think I can do this :)

And even better, being a wedding (or even an event) planner doesn't have to be a full-time job. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
I'm thinking I like the idea of day-of coordination as well as assisting with details more than straight-up planning someone's wedding head-to-toe. But I think that either way I do it I'd be able to make it work :)

I have big dreams. Of lots of things. I just hope my dreams don't get too far ahead of me.

I admit to being a little confused

Who out there has a dream or a goal, something they wish they could do? Even if it's not something like "This is the job I want to do for the rest of my life," but still a dream of "I'd like to at least be able to say I've done this."

Is it weird that I'm feeling the need/desire to get all of these things done?
Like get my CNA, get ordained, become a certified life coach, renew my CPR cert... become a certified wedding planner...

I mean, to an extent I find all of these things useful - although the wedding planning bit might be excessive, but the idea stands that I might be able to use psychology as a wedding planner. Heck, they like us in sales, right??
And no time like the present to start doing things I've thought about doing, right? (within reason, of course. $500 CNA course? nooooo. gotta pick a time to do something I can *afford*)
And hey, who wouldn't want a Social Services or Activities Director in Assisted Living who can train to do a funeral? (... lol? ...)

But I feel like I'm bouncing all over the place. I don't want to use it all as "filler," just stuff to keep myself occupied... But I *do* think that some of these things will open doors for me.
The life coach bit, I'm not sure what that will really do for me, but it was recommended by a professor...
Also, I'm concerned that on a resume it'll look like I'm just "there."

I guess I'm worried that counseling may not be my "thing," although I know that this is actually quite silly, especially because I've been comparing myself (in my first semester) to people who are ready to graduate or have at least been in the program a couple years. And it'd be nice to have credentials to fall back on.
Or, at the very least, I'll be able to look at myself and go "I did something I wanted to do."

(Anyone ever read Bookends by Jane Green? Main character Cath quits her job to do what she's dreamed of doing and open a bookstore, and at her farewell party her former boss says s/he's jealous because Cath is taking the risk to do what she's dreamed of doing and the boss isn't)

I must say that I'm feeling perfectly inadequate right now.
I have a job that's willing to work around the hours I'm unavailable. Heck, just the fact that I have a job.
Not only that, but the people I work with/for are wonderful. They're really sweet, and I love popping by the office to see them. If possible, I would like to continue working there.

But the fact remains that I need a steadier full-time job. And nobody wants me. Or I look "good," but "good" is not the same thing as "good enough."

I really don't know what I'm trying to say.

I remember when the hubs and I got engaged, and I started planning our wedding... And planning with different budgets, working the breakdown of budgets, areas to skimp on, areas to not skimp on, looking at dresses, planning things, finding invitations... I really felt that at some point I wouldn't mind helping other people plan out their weddings. Even if it was just a friend (and who knows, maybe one friend's wedding can turn into a friend's friend's FRIEND'S wedding).

I guess I just have all these ideas or dreams or whatever, but no clue how to get to them and make them work.

Oh, and the CPR thing is just useful. Like if I get back into babysitting to make extra cash, lots of people want a babysitter who knows CPR. And even though my CPR cert recommends I renew it in July, I know well enough that a CPR cert really is only a year-long thing for constant training and brushing-up. The place I got it recommended redoing it at least every two years.

Heck, I still haven't forgotten about my idea of brushing up on my photography skills enough to take pictures for people - even amateur wedding/engagement/family ones, as long as they're nice. As well as maybe becoming a bartender.

I look at all these things... Bartending, photography, wedding planning, being a CNA... and I see how much more money I could make, how much MORE I could contribute to the life my husband and I live, without always being concerned about if I can make enough to get rent paid and pay for gasoline and groceries and bills and, well, LIFE... How I would be able to do things like work more reasonable hours (yes, I know brides are not always reasonable!) and actually have free time around the same time as my husband, as opposed to only being free whenever he's at work or has homework to do.

I'm frustrated.
And I'm thinking.

Oh, I also got ordained last night by Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC) as well as American Marriage Ministries (AMM). Although I ordered the certificate from ULC. It's cheaper, and I don't need to register in the state of Nebraska. LOL.
So at least there's one thing off my list that I don't have to complain that I never did.

That is all. For now :)