I'm psyched because after today, I only have TWO more days left of the semester. Two two two two TWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! :)
I've got one final to email a professor, one I've already turned in, and two in-class finals to take - one on tomorrow and one on Tuesday.
And after that? I will have survived my first full year as a grad student!
You know, excepting the summer classes I'll be taking in a couple weeks, but no big deal.
On Thursday the husband and I are going to a scholarship dinner. I feel just a bit goofy about it because I know that I'm supposed to dress up. I took the opportunity to go shopping.
Perfect timing for that shopping trip, too. Apparently the post-prom season is the perfect time to go shopping for dressed. And even better?
I took my father-in-law and my younger brother-in-law with me to go shopping for said dress.
Yes, you read that correctly. My father-in-law and younger brother-in-law.
Believe it or not, we actually found a really nice dress.
I'd forgotten what it was like to be in the hordes of people looking at prom dresses. I tell you, DEB was so neon bright it was scary. And Younkers, where I found my dress, had PACKED dressing rooms.
With reason, apparently. The hubs and I went to Olive Garden last night and there were apparently still people going to prom. I figured at the end of April they'd be done, but I guess not.
I have to say... I'm pleased with the dress I bought. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of embarrassing my husband.
(Psst... My mentality was somewhere between "Look like the awesome wife that I am" and "OWN THE ROOM!!!" hahahahaha... I'm just a little on the arrogant side about looking good with my husband) ;)
Before I forget... To the hubs and I have been married for 11 months :) and just one more month until our first anniversary!
Forrest Gump is on right now, so in Forrest style I say...
"And that's all I have to say about that."
:)
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Finding happiness. Part 2
You know, when DH and I got married and the wedding was over and done with, I didn't feel the mysterious "wedding blues" that so many brides talk about. When they finish planning a wedding and then it seems like there's nothing more to do, because they planned and planned and then suddenly everything's over in the spam of one day.
I haven't felt that.
Truth be told, there was no reason for me to feel that. If anything, I was exceedingly glad that the wedding was over. After nearly 2.5 years, stress, stupid people, people trying to tell me what was right or wrong when really it was none if their business (I mean, who gives a damn if I don't have a guest book? Someone offered to give me one because I said DH and I saw no need for one and they didn't think it was right), all the flowers and decorations and ribbons I bought leading up to the wedding (some of which weren't even used), the extra programs and the brand new, unused invitations...
I was more than content leaving all that behind.
Not so content to find out that half the wedding crap ended up in the trunk of my car, reminding me of the things that didn't go all that well... Like how we ran out if rises because there were FAR more military members than I expected present, so I just looked like an idiot with a few extra people standing up front, empty-handed due to the lack of foresight (and their lack of RSVPs, making me have to guess).
And now, a month and a half later, I'm still upset at how my mother's memorial vase was done poorly.
Actually, I think shittily really sums up how I feel about it. I left someone else in charge of the vase and it ended up looking horrible, not doing my mother ANY justice and people were unable to read the engraving I had on the vase.
With the wedding over it was time to get back to real life. I welcomed the change.
But nothing seems different.
I know that might not make all that much sense. But it doesn't really feel like we're married. That can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
There has yet to be a moment that made me think "wow, I'm really married." Granted, we also both work pretty much opposite times, so most of the time it's trying to spend time together when we're not exhausted. Which is what most couples have to do, I guess...
This morning as I was trying to sleep it occurred to me that a year ago yesterday is when my mother had her stroke.
I don't always think about it, but sometimes can't help but remember that the day she had a stroke, I didn't even visit her. I was running late, so I only got a couple of hours in at my internship. Then I had to leave so I wouldn't miss my flight.
Typically when I was at my internship (at the assisted living facility) I made sure to drop by to see her. Even it was only for a short moment while I was taking mail to the residents all around the building.
It would figure that the day I was too preoccupied to bother was the last day I would've been able to see my mother outside of a hospital. Alive.
I called my sister when I couldn't sleep. It was around two in the morning her time, but she still made time to talk to me. And she made a couple valid points. For instance, I love my mother and she knew that. And my mother loved me
Nothing like a big sister, huh?
I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks.
I turn 21, and the very next day it'll be a year since my mother died.
Doesn't really seem all that fair.
I figured I'll take off the 31st, even though it's my longest work day (10 hours) for my family. But sensibility says I'll take it off not just for them but to have a moment for me.
... I just hope work doesn't decide I'm taking it off to nurse a hangover. I have am aversion to pain.
I have to wonder what I'll do for my birthday. Going out with my friends sounds like fun. I wouldn't mind trying alcohol. I think.
Although staying home with a book sounds fun, too. I guess. But spending time with people you care about is just as nice.
Well, the next two weeks will work as they please.
And it makes it kind of hard to look forward to a birthday.
I haven't felt that.
Truth be told, there was no reason for me to feel that. If anything, I was exceedingly glad that the wedding was over. After nearly 2.5 years, stress, stupid people, people trying to tell me what was right or wrong when really it was none if their business (I mean, who gives a damn if I don't have a guest book? Someone offered to give me one because I said DH and I saw no need for one and they didn't think it was right), all the flowers and decorations and ribbons I bought leading up to the wedding (some of which weren't even used), the extra programs and the brand new, unused invitations...
I was more than content leaving all that behind.
Not so content to find out that half the wedding crap ended up in the trunk of my car, reminding me of the things that didn't go all that well... Like how we ran out if rises because there were FAR more military members than I expected present, so I just looked like an idiot with a few extra people standing up front, empty-handed due to the lack of foresight (and their lack of RSVPs, making me have to guess).
And now, a month and a half later, I'm still upset at how my mother's memorial vase was done poorly.
Actually, I think shittily really sums up how I feel about it. I left someone else in charge of the vase and it ended up looking horrible, not doing my mother ANY justice and people were unable to read the engraving I had on the vase.
With the wedding over it was time to get back to real life. I welcomed the change.
But nothing seems different.
I know that might not make all that much sense. But it doesn't really feel like we're married. That can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.
There has yet to be a moment that made me think "wow, I'm really married." Granted, we also both work pretty much opposite times, so most of the time it's trying to spend time together when we're not exhausted. Which is what most couples have to do, I guess...
This morning as I was trying to sleep it occurred to me that a year ago yesterday is when my mother had her stroke.
I don't always think about it, but sometimes can't help but remember that the day she had a stroke, I didn't even visit her. I was running late, so I only got a couple of hours in at my internship. Then I had to leave so I wouldn't miss my flight.
Typically when I was at my internship (at the assisted living facility) I made sure to drop by to see her. Even it was only for a short moment while I was taking mail to the residents all around the building.
It would figure that the day I was too preoccupied to bother was the last day I would've been able to see my mother outside of a hospital. Alive.
I called my sister when I couldn't sleep. It was around two in the morning her time, but she still made time to talk to me. And she made a couple valid points. For instance, I love my mother and she knew that. And my mother loved me
Nothing like a big sister, huh?
I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks.
I turn 21, and the very next day it'll be a year since my mother died.
Doesn't really seem all that fair.
I figured I'll take off the 31st, even though it's my longest work day (10 hours) for my family. But sensibility says I'll take it off not just for them but to have a moment for me.
... I just hope work doesn't decide I'm taking it off to nurse a hangover. I have am aversion to pain.
I have to wonder what I'll do for my birthday. Going out with my friends sounds like fun. I wouldn't mind trying alcohol. I think.
Although staying home with a book sounds fun, too. I guess. But spending time with people you care about is just as nice.
Well, the next two weeks will work as they please.
And it makes it kind of hard to look forward to a birthday.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
What's in a name?
I'm just a little perplexed right now. I even admit it!
(The first step IS admitting it, right?)
I'm just going to go ahead and spout a bit of rambling, frustrated nonsense here.
So my beef with today:
People who think that not having the same last name makes you any less married (or a family!) than you are.
It's just been my frustration ever since the wedding.
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day where not only have I gotten over my aversion to LOOKING at the stupid paperwork, but I'll actually have it COMPLETE and then DH and I can have the same last name.
But somehow that translates into me being a bad person if I keep my maiden name in any way, shape, or form. Or if I even THINK about it.
I've had the same last name for nearly 21 years at this point. That's part of who I am.
And even when I get around to changing my name, if I really feel up to the hassle, I'll still be the same person. heck, I'll just be tacking on an extra name. I'm not cutting off one part of me to make room for another.
Even better, I LIKE my last name. Changing it doesn't make it go anywhere other than not at the end.
We were barely married for two days before I had someone go "Are you changing your name? Just curious."
I also had "Your name is __________ now. I need you to update!" (both via Facebook)
The second person? I took it in stride.
The first person? Kinda irritated me. Because after all these months I've paid attention. I knew her long before she got married, I know how her statuses revolve (wow, that sounds petty and lame, but you know what I mean! I see a PATTERN), and I'd barely been married 2 days (let's say 52 hours) and you're going to ask me about my name? Not even a remote congrats, just "are you changing your name?"
And newly married people who should KNOW better with things like, oh, WRITING CHECKS.
Not that I'm opposed to the fact that people were generous enough to write us checks. I'm very grateful for the fact that people were kind enough to write us checks.
But when people, especially those who are newly married, write us a check that combines my first name and his last name... Does that say that i'm supposed to give up who I am just because I'm married?
Oh, and I can't do a damn thing with a check that doesn't have my real name on it.
I'm amazed that some people think a name change in general is easy.
Maybe if you don't like your name, or you feel no personal connection to it, or if you've been practicing writing your new one, or if, I dunno, you don't have a clue who you are so you want to use the name as a link to someone.
One thing I've never understood:
Changing your Facebook name to something that isn't legally your name after you become married.
To clarify: That is NOT against anyone who has done this. I know and actually like a few people who have done this. It's just not for me.
I admit, I got excited when I saw things come addressed to:
"Mr. and Mrs. (his last name),"
"Mr. and Mrs. (his first name) (his last name),"
"(his first name) and (my first name) (his last name),"
or even just to "(my first name) (his last name)."
But I hate to say that it lost its appeal rather quickly. Like my last name isn't very good.
Why couldn't he take my last name? Huh?
I'm pretty sure that we'd get QUITE a few weird looks if we did that.
And while I'd have a pretty BOSS last name (oh God, I just thought of one of my friends... "Like a BOSS." *sigh*) if I were to hyphenate it, well, I just don't want to hyphenate it. I don't. End of story.
It's almost like nobody's taken my feelings into account here. Like we're still a hundred years ago, fifty years ago, or even 25 years ago and it automatically has to be his rule.
Sorry, but we don't work that way.
Alright now, we've got wedding stuff to throw in the trash. I'm out.
(The first step IS admitting it, right?)
I'm just going to go ahead and spout a bit of rambling, frustrated nonsense here.
So my beef with today:
People who think that not having the same last name makes you any less married (or a family!) than you are.
It's just been my frustration ever since the wedding.
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day where not only have I gotten over my aversion to LOOKING at the stupid paperwork, but I'll actually have it COMPLETE and then DH and I can have the same last name.
But somehow that translates into me being a bad person if I keep my maiden name in any way, shape, or form. Or if I even THINK about it.
I've had the same last name for nearly 21 years at this point. That's part of who I am.
And even when I get around to changing my name, if I really feel up to the hassle, I'll still be the same person. heck, I'll just be tacking on an extra name. I'm not cutting off one part of me to make room for another.
Even better, I LIKE my last name. Changing it doesn't make it go anywhere other than not at the end.
We were barely married for two days before I had someone go "Are you changing your name? Just curious."
I also had "Your name is __________ now. I need you to update!" (both via Facebook)
The second person? I took it in stride.
The first person? Kinda irritated me. Because after all these months I've paid attention. I knew her long before she got married, I know how her statuses revolve (wow, that sounds petty and lame, but you know what I mean! I see a PATTERN), and I'd barely been married 2 days (let's say 52 hours) and you're going to ask me about my name? Not even a remote congrats, just "are you changing your name?"
And newly married people who should KNOW better with things like, oh, WRITING CHECKS.
Not that I'm opposed to the fact that people were generous enough to write us checks. I'm very grateful for the fact that people were kind enough to write us checks.
But when people, especially those who are newly married, write us a check that combines my first name and his last name... Does that say that i'm supposed to give up who I am just because I'm married?
Oh, and I can't do a damn thing with a check that doesn't have my real name on it.
I'm amazed that some people think a name change in general is easy.
Maybe if you don't like your name, or you feel no personal connection to it, or if you've been practicing writing your new one, or if, I dunno, you don't have a clue who you are so you want to use the name as a link to someone.
One thing I've never understood:
Changing your Facebook name to something that isn't legally your name after you become married.
To clarify: That is NOT against anyone who has done this. I know and actually like a few people who have done this. It's just not for me.
I admit, I got excited when I saw things come addressed to:
"Mr. and Mrs. (his last name),"
"Mr. and Mrs. (his first name) (his last name),"
"(his first name) and (my first name) (his last name),"
or even just to "(my first name) (his last name)."
But I hate to say that it lost its appeal rather quickly. Like my last name isn't very good.
Why couldn't he take my last name? Huh?
I'm pretty sure that we'd get QUITE a few weird looks if we did that.
And while I'd have a pretty BOSS last name (oh God, I just thought of one of my friends... "Like a BOSS." *sigh*) if I were to hyphenate it, well, I just don't want to hyphenate it. I don't. End of story.
It's almost like nobody's taken my feelings into account here. Like we're still a hundred years ago, fifty years ago, or even 25 years ago and it automatically has to be his rule.
Sorry, but we don't work that way.
Alright now, we've got wedding stuff to throw in the trash. I'm out.
Monday, June 27, 2011
"How's married life?"
(I figured I'll try to make up for my lack of posting... There are things I've been meaning to talk about, though!)
A question that we've gotten a lot in the 4 weeks since we've been married (although a lot more at the beginning) is "How's married life?"
How do people expect you to answer that?
"Oh, man, it SUCKS. BIG TIME."
Yeah, let's not and say we did.
What HAS been happening, though... DH finished up the class he was taking (so proud of him! he got either a 98 or 99-point-something-or-other % as his overall grade!).
I've slept on the couch a few times.
Yes, you read that right. Me. On the couch.
Right before and right after getting married, my workload was all over the place. And my back's been hurting for the last couple weeks. It's driving me nuts, and it's especially after work and when I'm trying to get comfortable to sleep.
And sometimes... My husband SNORES!
*GASP*
I admit it, I was the strange kid who couldn't sleep with someone snoring in my ear so I would sleep on the floor until I decided it wasn't comfortable, and THEN I got in the bed.
Oh, and our couch is REALLY comfortable. Just so you know.
I can't really think of anything that's different now than the 3 weeks we lived together before getting married. Or in general.
We don't see his folks as much, or my. Even though his family is a ten-minute drive away and my dad lives 3 minutes away.
Let's see... We do laundry. A lot, but not as often as before we got married (THANK GOD! I felt like I was doing a load or two of laundry daily!!).
We cook. We clean. We make plans.
I don't get how that's all that different from before we got married - and I mean even BEFORE we lived together!
What do people expect? To get some personal details?
Sorry, no can do!
With that said, married life is fine.
We're coming to agreements on things, just like we did before we're married.
For example, we grocery shop TOGETHER.
Shocker, ain't it?
But his free time to grocery shop is usually on the weekends so he'll go with his parents. And my free time to grocery shop, well, it's whenever I feel like it.
I tell you, we actually found stuff that both of us liked!
And the clarification about who likes what.
I remember when he bought me White Cheddar Cheez-Its and Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its. It was thoughtful because he knows I like Cheez-Its, but my love for the White Cheddar ones has worn off over the years. They're ok, but I'd prefer regular.
See, you learn things when you grocery shop together!
Which is a bit better than getting home and seeing something that one of us bought for the other and isn't likely to be touched (with the exception of when I'm starving at work because my body suddenly decided that I need something NOW! they were very beneficial).
And it was interesting seeing the nerdiness come out in both of us, and how we're trying to be healthier.
I have this thing about getting all my nutrients. If something tastes good and is full of fiber, you can guarantee I love it.
...
My roommates made fun of me because I had a giant thing of Metamucil.
Note: Don't ever get the coarse kind unless you want that whole crunchy, grainy business in your drink.
My point is, even though not much has changed, we're still learning and working out ways to make it work.
For instance: If I have to be at work at 8:30 and he has a meeting at 8:30, it takes me longer to get to my client than for him to get to work, he showers longer but I take longer to get ready, I HAVE to eat breakfast and love to sleep in, he gets up earlier (sometimes), etc... Then WHO SHOWERS FIRST???
So far?
So good.
Here's to making it work!
☺♥♫
A question that we've gotten a lot in the 4 weeks since we've been married (although a lot more at the beginning) is "How's married life?"
How do people expect you to answer that?
"Oh, man, it SUCKS. BIG TIME."
Yeah, let's not and say we did.
What HAS been happening, though... DH finished up the class he was taking (so proud of him! he got either a 98 or 99-point-something-or-other % as his overall grade!).
I've slept on the couch a few times.
Yes, you read that right. Me. On the couch.
Right before and right after getting married, my workload was all over the place. And my back's been hurting for the last couple weeks. It's driving me nuts, and it's especially after work and when I'm trying to get comfortable to sleep.
And sometimes... My husband SNORES!
*GASP*
I admit it, I was the strange kid who couldn't sleep with someone snoring in my ear so I would sleep on the floor until I decided it wasn't comfortable, and THEN I got in the bed.
Oh, and our couch is REALLY comfortable. Just so you know.
I can't really think of anything that's different now than the 3 weeks we lived together before getting married. Or in general.
We don't see his folks as much, or my. Even though his family is a ten-minute drive away and my dad lives 3 minutes away.
Let's see... We do laundry. A lot, but not as often as before we got married (THANK GOD! I felt like I was doing a load or two of laundry daily!!).
We cook. We clean. We make plans.
I don't get how that's all that different from before we got married - and I mean even BEFORE we lived together!
What do people expect? To get some personal details?
Sorry, no can do!
With that said, married life is fine.
We're coming to agreements on things, just like we did before we're married.
For example, we grocery shop TOGETHER.
Shocker, ain't it?
But his free time to grocery shop is usually on the weekends so he'll go with his parents. And my free time to grocery shop, well, it's whenever I feel like it.
I tell you, we actually found stuff that both of us liked!
And the clarification about who likes what.
I remember when he bought me White Cheddar Cheez-Its and Hot and Spicy Cheez-Its. It was thoughtful because he knows I like Cheez-Its, but my love for the White Cheddar ones has worn off over the years. They're ok, but I'd prefer regular.
See, you learn things when you grocery shop together!
Which is a bit better than getting home and seeing something that one of us bought for the other and isn't likely to be touched (with the exception of when I'm starving at work because my body suddenly decided that I need something NOW! they were very beneficial).
And it was interesting seeing the nerdiness come out in both of us, and how we're trying to be healthier.
I have this thing about getting all my nutrients. If something tastes good and is full of fiber, you can guarantee I love it.
...
My roommates made fun of me because I had a giant thing of Metamucil.
Note: Don't ever get the coarse kind unless you want that whole crunchy, grainy business in your drink.
My point is, even though not much has changed, we're still learning and working out ways to make it work.
For instance: If I have to be at work at 8:30 and he has a meeting at 8:30, it takes me longer to get to my client than for him to get to work, he showers longer but I take longer to get ready, I HAVE to eat breakfast and love to sleep in, he gets up earlier (sometimes), etc... Then WHO SHOWERS FIRST???
So far?
So good.
Here's to making it work!
☺♥♫
Sunday, June 5, 2011
FINALLY! 7 days and counting!
I know it's been a while - and I DO mean a while.
I feel bad that it's been nearly two weeks since I last posted... But with that said, FH and I have been MARRIED for the last week!
...
Which means that he's been promoted to "FH" to "DH." Fun stuff, yeah?
It was so weird, I took Friday before the wedding off of work so that I could have a chance to sleep in, and instead like a crazy person I was decorating fifteen fishbowls that I bought with some ribbon and a floating candle to add to our centerpieces because the night before I decided that our centerpieces weren't enough.
And with that said, I've decided that I hate ribbons, bows, and fish bowls. And candles seem to have lost a bit of their novelty. In college we weren't allowed to have candles - which I find to be rather weird because, let's be honest, a good chunk of the campus smokes. So you know SOMEBODY'S got a lighter. That and we had 2 blackouts the week after Easter - and one was late and night and the ENTIRE campus was out, not just bits and pieces. Now, me being the smart girl that I am... I have 5 or 6 flashlights, and there are still some that I would love to get (hello, super mini mag lite and GIANT mag lite? How awesome would that be?). But there were so many people on campus without flashlights that it was ridiculous.
Although I must say, we were pretty awesome. Because I had so many flashlights and Ri had at least one, maybe two, we had this whole set-up where we could go to the bathroom and not need to leave the door open for light. It was kind of amazing.
ANYWAY!
Now that we've been married for almost a week (give it a few hours!), I'm still trying to ease my way into getting used to the word "husband." There are moments where it suddenly clicks in my brain and in my head I go "Oh, God, I'm MARRIED! And I married HIM, of all people! Well, in a GOOD way, obviously, but HOLY GEEZ!"
I've decided that my next post will be a wedding recap (complete with some pics that people took!) and a question just (re-)occurred to me... Why is it that people think they can go "So, how was your wedding night?" or "Did you guys have a good time after the wedding?"
I'm sorry, but that's just AWKWARD! Especially when some of the people asking are your own RELATIVES - and I don't mean siblings or cousins close in age or anything.
Now, I know that most people don't have sex on their wedding night because, let's face it, they're tired. Heck, our entire event only went for 4 hours, and we were exhausted. Some people have longer weddings and receptions. And I mean much much MUCH longer - you wouldn't believe how many people were amazed that our reception would be at MOST about 3.5 hours long once people left the ceremony and went across the hall while we were taking pictures. From what i've heard from other brides, most have a reception that's at LEAST five hours long, and some even have receptions that go until like one in the morning... A little nuts, if you ask me, but I've never really been all that big a fan of partying to begin with.
That said, I wish people would realize how awkward it is to ask someone about how their wedding night went, especially if you're not close. Or maybe you're close, but not like a best-friends-sharing-secrets kind of close. It's just really disturbing.
One relative (I forget whether it was DH's or mine... probably one of his aunts) said that was the most fun they've ever seen people have at a reception WITHOUT alcohol.
Hey, I'll take the compliment! Because honestly, I was worried how people would feel about the lack of alcohol... But we weren't going to have the reception be long enough for people to drink at the beginning and then dry out toward the end. And at the time, neither of us were old enough to drink. DH's birthday was Tuesday, 2 days after the wedding, so he's old enough now... But we definitely don't have regrets about not having alcohol.
...
I don't feel like I'll only have 2 posts today... There's so much I could talk about! And, me being me, I feel that each thing deserves its own post. It's no secret that I talk a lot!
I feel bad that it's been nearly two weeks since I last posted... But with that said, FH and I have been MARRIED for the last week!
...
Which means that he's been promoted to "FH" to "DH." Fun stuff, yeah?
It was so weird, I took Friday before the wedding off of work so that I could have a chance to sleep in, and instead like a crazy person I was decorating fifteen fishbowls that I bought with some ribbon and a floating candle to add to our centerpieces because the night before I decided that our centerpieces weren't enough.
And with that said, I've decided that I hate ribbons, bows, and fish bowls. And candles seem to have lost a bit of their novelty. In college we weren't allowed to have candles - which I find to be rather weird because, let's be honest, a good chunk of the campus smokes. So you know SOMEBODY'S got a lighter. That and we had 2 blackouts the week after Easter - and one was late and night and the ENTIRE campus was out, not just bits and pieces. Now, me being the smart girl that I am... I have 5 or 6 flashlights, and there are still some that I would love to get (hello, super mini mag lite and GIANT mag lite? How awesome would that be?). But there were so many people on campus without flashlights that it was ridiculous.
Although I must say, we were pretty awesome. Because I had so many flashlights and Ri had at least one, maybe two, we had this whole set-up where we could go to the bathroom and not need to leave the door open for light. It was kind of amazing.
ANYWAY!
Now that we've been married for almost a week (give it a few hours!), I'm still trying to ease my way into getting used to the word "husband." There are moments where it suddenly clicks in my brain and in my head I go "Oh, God, I'm MARRIED! And I married HIM, of all people! Well, in a GOOD way, obviously, but HOLY GEEZ!"
I've decided that my next post will be a wedding recap (complete with some pics that people took!) and a question just (re-)occurred to me... Why is it that people think they can go "So, how was your wedding night?" or "Did you guys have a good time after the wedding?"
I'm sorry, but that's just AWKWARD! Especially when some of the people asking are your own RELATIVES - and I don't mean siblings or cousins close in age or anything.
Now, I know that most people don't have sex on their wedding night because, let's face it, they're tired. Heck, our entire event only went for 4 hours, and we were exhausted. Some people have longer weddings and receptions. And I mean much much MUCH longer - you wouldn't believe how many people were amazed that our reception would be at MOST about 3.5 hours long once people left the ceremony and went across the hall while we were taking pictures. From what i've heard from other brides, most have a reception that's at LEAST five hours long, and some even have receptions that go until like one in the morning... A little nuts, if you ask me, but I've never really been all that big a fan of partying to begin with.
That said, I wish people would realize how awkward it is to ask someone about how their wedding night went, especially if you're not close. Or maybe you're close, but not like a best-friends-sharing-secrets kind of close. It's just really disturbing.
One relative (I forget whether it was DH's or mine... probably one of his aunts) said that was the most fun they've ever seen people have at a reception WITHOUT alcohol.
Hey, I'll take the compliment! Because honestly, I was worried how people would feel about the lack of alcohol... But we weren't going to have the reception be long enough for people to drink at the beginning and then dry out toward the end. And at the time, neither of us were old enough to drink. DH's birthday was Tuesday, 2 days after the wedding, so he's old enough now... But we definitely don't have regrets about not having alcohol.
...
I don't feel like I'll only have 2 posts today... There's so much I could talk about! And, me being me, I feel that each thing deserves its own post. It's no secret that I talk a lot!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
"The rest is still unwritten..."
I find that in a relationship, at least in ours, compromise is something fairly important.
FH and I will be moving into our first apartment right between finishing finals and my college graduation. Our biggest issue with the whole moving situation is the furniture discussion. As I've previously mentioned we'll be getting a lot of my parents' furniture.
But as I found out today, even though FH and I discussed the furniture situation and he didn't mind us getting it to start out, apparently he felt that everything in the apartment was going to be "me" and there would be no sign of "him" anywhere in there... Talk about a way to start out a marriage.
As a wedding present and because his parents aren't helping out with the wedding, they bought us a washer and dryer. Which is cool, because clean clothes are awesome - especially clean clothes where you don't have to trek to the main building in 3 feet of snow just to get them.
Well today FH told me that they would also help us out with other stuff if we'd like - desk, dining set, TV stand, TV...
One of our issues in the "there's no space for me" deal is the fact that, if we're being completely honest, our apartment IS small. And we're a bit confined because it's apparently cool to stick an angled fireplace in the room.
Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fireplace, and I'm sure we'll enjoy lots of snuggle time in front of it in the future. But when we're trying to figure out where things go, an angled fireplace in a small living room is a pain in the butt. And it ate up any maneuvering we wanted to do with having a computer desk and a dining room table.
For us, a desk is a fairly important thing. Even though I'm graduating in less than a month, I'm going back to school. FH will be working on his undergrad for at least another year. A computer's pretty important, and in addition to our laptops FH also has a desktop that he keeps EVERYTHING on (and when I say everything, I mean there is nearly 120 GB of music in his iTunes. It's pretty ridiculous, yet awesome).
But I also feel that a table is important. Yeah, I don't eat at a table all that often (the couch is comfier!), and I don't need one that's large by any means... But I want to be able to eat breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner at the table with my husband if we decide to. I don't want to be stuck to just eating on the couch, or using TV trays or something. I feel like that would take away something important - and, you know, increase the potential for the dog to come up and steal our food! (I've had the dog try to steal my chicken alfredo before. I was not pleased, as I was gone for maybe 10 seconds - and could still see him)
I guess you're saying that a table isn't a big deal, but I like being able to eat dinner at the table with my husband on our anniversaries, on our birthdays, on special days. But I also like curling up with him.
Oh, and maybe I'm weird but I don't think a dining room table belongs at the front door. I just wasn't feeling that idea too much.
We discussed putting the computer in the bedroom - which neither of us want, because inevitably someone will be up in the middle of the night working on an assignment last minute (yeah, probably me!)... And his desktop glows. A glowing CPU is cool, but lights keep me awake. They bug me. A lot.
So like I said, neither of us want that.
However, for a first time apartment we don't have all that much space. Clothing and everything, yes, there will be plenty of space. We're pushing our luck with the bookshelves, but we can do it. But when you add the rest of the furniture then space is just literally eaten up - mostly by the couch and love seat!
So we decided to go look at furniture today, and see what we liked, what we didn't like, what we love, what we hate, and what works with the space we've been allotted.
After plenty of hunting, me seeing in person what the washer and dryer we have looks like (but in a different color!), lunch and a Burger King shake that was LOADED with strawberry syrup (sad day!), and a trip resulting in me getting home an hour later than I expected to work on taxes, we've come to an agreement.
I'll be the first to tell you that I hate most of the desks in stores. Frilly and frou-frou bug me. I don't like wood too dark. I don't like it too light. Too tall, too big, too small, filing drawers, not enough desk drawers...
I'm an organizer at heart, if I have the space.
We finally found a desk we could agree on, and one that would even give me some desk space, space for my printer(s) in addition to his, and an area to put a floor lamp in.
After some hunting we also found a dining table we liked that wasn't obnoxiously large (3'x3') and came with little stools that you can push all the way under the table when you're not using them to save space.
We also drew visited the apartment complex to view the model and get complete measurements (ours will be slightly larger than the model) so we could draw in what we're working with to get a more accurate idea.
The funny thing is, this whole apartment... "event," if you will, with us trying to compromise...
It sounds a lot like us trying to find flatware.
Because even on something as "small" as flatware, we wanted more of a compromise than just to pick something out. I had a relative tell me to put flatware on our registry, despite me telling her at least twice that we were NOT going to put it on there because we wanted to pick out our own flatware. It's nice that people want to help us out, but I'd rather not have us stuck with something one of us hates and the other likes for the next 20+ years. That's just not cool. And it's small things like that, like one hating something and the other liking it, that could eventually snowball into some kind of resentment for what FH was concerned about earlier: there being *none* of one person in the place.
Because what do you do if everything is of one person and there's nothing of the other or of the couple in your life?
And if we're being real?
It takes two to have a marriage (unless you're fundamentalist LDS or something, but you know what I mean).
FH and I will be moving into our first apartment right between finishing finals and my college graduation. Our biggest issue with the whole moving situation is the furniture discussion. As I've previously mentioned we'll be getting a lot of my parents' furniture.
But as I found out today, even though FH and I discussed the furniture situation and he didn't mind us getting it to start out, apparently he felt that everything in the apartment was going to be "me" and there would be no sign of "him" anywhere in there... Talk about a way to start out a marriage.
As a wedding present and because his parents aren't helping out with the wedding, they bought us a washer and dryer. Which is cool, because clean clothes are awesome - especially clean clothes where you don't have to trek to the main building in 3 feet of snow just to get them.
Well today FH told me that they would also help us out with other stuff if we'd like - desk, dining set, TV stand, TV...
One of our issues in the "there's no space for me" deal is the fact that, if we're being completely honest, our apartment IS small. And we're a bit confined because it's apparently cool to stick an angled fireplace in the room.
Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely fireplace, and I'm sure we'll enjoy lots of snuggle time in front of it in the future. But when we're trying to figure out where things go, an angled fireplace in a small living room is a pain in the butt. And it ate up any maneuvering we wanted to do with having a computer desk and a dining room table.
For us, a desk is a fairly important thing. Even though I'm graduating in less than a month, I'm going back to school. FH will be working on his undergrad for at least another year. A computer's pretty important, and in addition to our laptops FH also has a desktop that he keeps EVERYTHING on (and when I say everything, I mean there is nearly 120 GB of music in his iTunes. It's pretty ridiculous, yet awesome).
But I also feel that a table is important. Yeah, I don't eat at a table all that often (the couch is comfier!), and I don't need one that's large by any means... But I want to be able to eat breakfast, lunch, and/or dinner at the table with my husband if we decide to. I don't want to be stuck to just eating on the couch, or using TV trays or something. I feel like that would take away something important - and, you know, increase the potential for the dog to come up and steal our food! (I've had the dog try to steal my chicken alfredo before. I was not pleased, as I was gone for maybe 10 seconds - and could still see him)
I guess you're saying that a table isn't a big deal, but I like being able to eat dinner at the table with my husband on our anniversaries, on our birthdays, on special days. But I also like curling up with him.
Oh, and maybe I'm weird but I don't think a dining room table belongs at the front door. I just wasn't feeling that idea too much.
We discussed putting the computer in the bedroom - which neither of us want, because inevitably someone will be up in the middle of the night working on an assignment last minute (yeah, probably me!)... And his desktop glows. A glowing CPU is cool, but lights keep me awake. They bug me. A lot.
So like I said, neither of us want that.
However, for a first time apartment we don't have all that much space. Clothing and everything, yes, there will be plenty of space. We're pushing our luck with the bookshelves, but we can do it. But when you add the rest of the furniture then space is just literally eaten up - mostly by the couch and love seat!
So we decided to go look at furniture today, and see what we liked, what we didn't like, what we love, what we hate, and what works with the space we've been allotted.
After plenty of hunting, me seeing in person what the washer and dryer we have looks like (but in a different color!), lunch and a Burger King shake that was LOADED with strawberry syrup (sad day!), and a trip resulting in me getting home an hour later than I expected to work on taxes, we've come to an agreement.
I'll be the first to tell you that I hate most of the desks in stores. Frilly and frou-frou bug me. I don't like wood too dark. I don't like it too light. Too tall, too big, too small, filing drawers, not enough desk drawers...
I'm an organizer at heart, if I have the space.
We finally found a desk we could agree on, and one that would even give me some desk space, space for my printer(s) in addition to his, and an area to put a floor lamp in.
After some hunting we also found a dining table we liked that wasn't obnoxiously large (3'x3') and came with little stools that you can push all the way under the table when you're not using them to save space.
We also drew visited the apartment complex to view the model and get complete measurements (ours will be slightly larger than the model) so we could draw in what we're working with to get a more accurate idea.
The funny thing is, this whole apartment... "event," if you will, with us trying to compromise...
It sounds a lot like us trying to find flatware.
Because even on something as "small" as flatware, we wanted more of a compromise than just to pick something out. I had a relative tell me to put flatware on our registry, despite me telling her at least twice that we were NOT going to put it on there because we wanted to pick out our own flatware. It's nice that people want to help us out, but I'd rather not have us stuck with something one of us hates and the other likes for the next 20+ years. That's just not cool. And it's small things like that, like one hating something and the other liking it, that could eventually snowball into some kind of resentment for what FH was concerned about earlier: there being *none* of one person in the place.
Because what do you do if everything is of one person and there's nothing of the other or of the couple in your life?
And if we're being real?
It takes two to have a marriage (unless you're fundamentalist LDS or something, but you know what I mean).
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