What's in a name?

I'm just a little perplexed right now. I even admit it!
(The first step IS admitting it, right?)

I'm just going to go ahead and spout a bit of rambling, frustrated nonsense here.

So my beef with today:
People who think that not having the same last name makes you any less married (or a family!) than you are.

It's just been my frustration ever since the wedding.
Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day where not only have I gotten over my aversion to LOOKING at the stupid paperwork, but I'll actually have it COMPLETE and then DH and I can have the same last name.

But somehow that translates into me being a bad person if I keep my maiden name in any way, shape, or form. Or if I even THINK about it.

I've had the same last name for nearly 21 years at this point. That's part of who I am.
And even when I get around to changing my name, if I really feel up to the hassle, I'll still be the same person. heck, I'll just be tacking on an extra name. I'm not cutting off one part of me to make room for another.
Even better, I LIKE my last name. Changing it doesn't make it go anywhere other than not at the end.

We were barely married for two days before I had someone go "Are you changing your name? Just curious."
I also had "Your name is __________ now. I need you to update!" (both via Facebook)

The second person? I took it in stride.
The first person? Kinda irritated me. Because after all these months I've paid attention. I knew her long before she got married, I know how her statuses revolve (wow, that sounds petty and lame, but you know what I mean! I see a PATTERN), and I'd barely been married 2 days (let's say 52 hours) and you're going to ask me about my name? Not even a remote congrats, just "are you changing your name?"

And newly married people who should KNOW better with things like, oh, WRITING CHECKS.

Not that I'm opposed to the fact that people were generous enough to write us checks. I'm very grateful for the fact that people were kind enough to write us checks.
But when people, especially those who are newly married, write us a check that combines my first name and his last name... Does that say that i'm supposed to give up who I am just because I'm married?

Oh, and I can't do a damn thing with a check that doesn't have my real name on it.

I'm amazed that some people think a name change in general is easy.
Maybe if you don't like your name, or you feel no personal connection to it, or if you've been practicing writing your new one, or if, I dunno, you don't have a clue who you are so you want to use the name as a link to someone.

One thing I've never understood:
Changing your Facebook name to something that isn't legally your name after you become married.

To clarify: That is NOT against anyone who has done this. I know and actually like a few people who have done this. It's just not for me.

I admit, I got excited when I saw things come addressed to:
"Mr. and Mrs. (his last name),"
"Mr. and Mrs. (his first name)   (his last name),"
"(his first name) and (my first name)   (his last name),"
or even just to "(my first name)   (his last name)."

But I hate to say that it lost its appeal rather quickly. Like my last name isn't very good.
Why couldn't he take my last name? Huh?
I'm pretty sure that we'd get QUITE a few weird looks if we did that.

And while I'd have a pretty BOSS last name (oh God, I just thought of one of my friends... "Like a BOSS." *sigh*) if I were to hyphenate it, well, I just don't want to hyphenate it. I don't. End of story.

It's almost like nobody's taken my feelings into account here. Like we're still a hundred years ago, fifty years ago, or even 25 years ago and it automatically has to be his rule.

Sorry, but we don't work that way.

Alright now, we've got wedding stuff to throw in the trash. I'm out.