I admit to being a little confused

Who out there has a dream or a goal, something they wish they could do? Even if it's not something like "This is the job I want to do for the rest of my life," but still a dream of "I'd like to at least be able to say I've done this."

Is it weird that I'm feeling the need/desire to get all of these things done?
Like get my CNA, get ordained, become a certified life coach, renew my CPR cert... become a certified wedding planner...

I mean, to an extent I find all of these things useful - although the wedding planning bit might be excessive, but the idea stands that I might be able to use psychology as a wedding planner. Heck, they like us in sales, right??
And no time like the present to start doing things I've thought about doing, right? (within reason, of course. $500 CNA course? nooooo. gotta pick a time to do something I can *afford*)
And hey, who wouldn't want a Social Services or Activities Director in Assisted Living who can train to do a funeral? (... lol? ...)

But I feel like I'm bouncing all over the place. I don't want to use it all as "filler," just stuff to keep myself occupied... But I *do* think that some of these things will open doors for me.
The life coach bit, I'm not sure what that will really do for me, but it was recommended by a professor...
Also, I'm concerned that on a resume it'll look like I'm just "there."

I guess I'm worried that counseling may not be my "thing," although I know that this is actually quite silly, especially because I've been comparing myself (in my first semester) to people who are ready to graduate or have at least been in the program a couple years. And it'd be nice to have credentials to fall back on.
Or, at the very least, I'll be able to look at myself and go "I did something I wanted to do."

(Anyone ever read Bookends by Jane Green? Main character Cath quits her job to do what she's dreamed of doing and open a bookstore, and at her farewell party her former boss says s/he's jealous because Cath is taking the risk to do what she's dreamed of doing and the boss isn't)

I must say that I'm feeling perfectly inadequate right now.
I have a job that's willing to work around the hours I'm unavailable. Heck, just the fact that I have a job.
Not only that, but the people I work with/for are wonderful. They're really sweet, and I love popping by the office to see them. If possible, I would like to continue working there.

But the fact remains that I need a steadier full-time job. And nobody wants me. Or I look "good," but "good" is not the same thing as "good enough."

I really don't know what I'm trying to say.

I remember when the hubs and I got engaged, and I started planning our wedding... And planning with different budgets, working the breakdown of budgets, areas to skimp on, areas to not skimp on, looking at dresses, planning things, finding invitations... I really felt that at some point I wouldn't mind helping other people plan out their weddings. Even if it was just a friend (and who knows, maybe one friend's wedding can turn into a friend's friend's FRIEND'S wedding).

I guess I just have all these ideas or dreams or whatever, but no clue how to get to them and make them work.

Oh, and the CPR thing is just useful. Like if I get back into babysitting to make extra cash, lots of people want a babysitter who knows CPR. And even though my CPR cert recommends I renew it in July, I know well enough that a CPR cert really is only a year-long thing for constant training and brushing-up. The place I got it recommended redoing it at least every two years.

Heck, I still haven't forgotten about my idea of brushing up on my photography skills enough to take pictures for people - even amateur wedding/engagement/family ones, as long as they're nice. As well as maybe becoming a bartender.

I look at all these things... Bartending, photography, wedding planning, being a CNA... and I see how much more money I could make, how much MORE I could contribute to the life my husband and I live, without always being concerned about if I can make enough to get rent paid and pay for gasoline and groceries and bills and, well, LIFE... How I would be able to do things like work more reasonable hours (yes, I know brides are not always reasonable!) and actually have free time around the same time as my husband, as opposed to only being free whenever he's at work or has homework to do.

I'm frustrated.
And I'm thinking.

Oh, I also got ordained last night by Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC) as well as American Marriage Ministries (AMM). Although I ordered the certificate from ULC. It's cheaper, and I don't need to register in the state of Nebraska. LOL.
So at least there's one thing off my list that I don't have to complain that I never did.

That is all. For now :)

It seems my hard-earned degree isn't worth crap

I graduated with my BS in Psychology in May. Even before I graduated I was looking for jobs relating to my degree (or at least something I'd be vaguely interested in or can at least do and not want to choke myself).

I work in non-medical in-home senior care. My hours aren't guaranteed, but mire often than not I'm getting a bunch of hours - but my hours are really whenever and wherever.

I love my job, but I'm going nuts. I had a smoking client for 7 days of the last 13. A couple of those days when my shift ended I felt like I was going to be sick (I'm a non-smoker).
I want to tell the office I won't work with smoking clients, but the husband and I aren't financially in a position where I can pick and choose, since we both work and go to school, but I'm the only one who can really get full-time in around my classes and our health insurance takes $250 out of his paycheck every two weeks and the extra money he makes goes to paying off his car and groceries.

I KNOW what I want to do, but without my MS (in two years) I can't do it.

For months I've been looking for a job, but what they don't tell you in school is that unless you're good in sales then nobody wants someone with an undergrad psychology degree. They want social work.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say social work degrees can do more than psychology degrees. Even my sister says it (and sounds extremely pissed off when discussing it, and she's very level-headed).

So now I'm faced with finding a place to get my PLADC (provisional licensed alcohol and drug counselor) and potentially losing work hours, or find a way to beef up my credentials by taking classes (can't afford to just drop $500 on CNA classes, not at this moment, and keep in mind I'm already a full-time grad student), or find a second job - but most places I've looked want someone who can also do weekends, and I actually have a steady weekend client.

I find myself bouncing around. I had one teacher tell me a PLADC was basically worthless. He also told my class we should get life coach certified, to add to our resume, but that it's kind of silly (cynical much?).

I'm finding so many things I CAN do until I get my MS (in counseling), and that doing them might be beneficial in the long run but absurdly selfish in the immediate future. $500 for a CNA course? Rent's covered, but we like to make sure at least the next month's is good too.
Life coach, CNA, PLADC, hell I've even looked at wedding planning and getting ordained. Because maybe it would be SOMETHING that works.

I'm the main breadwinner in our household, the money isn't terrible, but I'm the one whose credentials don't mean anything to prospective employers, the one who barely makes above minimum wage, and I keep finding myself faced with "what ifs." Like "what if I can't afford car insurance when my car is signed over to me next month?" because then I CAN'T work (job requires proof of insurance, since I transport clients) AND it's kind of illegal.

I'm done with my vent now.