When did mental illness become synonymous with violence?

Heads up: This is one of my touchy subjects.

I'm posting this, because I'm... Annoyed. Yeah, that's a good word.
If you didn't know, I recently earned (and paid the licensing fee for) my PLMHP. Meaning, I've completed the work to get a provisional license to practice in mental health. Including a master's degree.
Yay! And I'm working toward getting a license that doesn't have the "provisional" attached to it. It's a 1.5+ year process for the latter bit, one that picks up where my schooling for my M.S. left off.

One of the groups that gets led at my work is a group on stigmas and stereotypes, with a focus on mental illness - how those with a mental illness are perceived by others, and how they perceive themselves to be.
One of the groups that I lead is a mental health awareness group, in which we go over current events related to mental health.

So as I was scrolling through Twitter after work today (instead of taking a nap... Bad idea, I guess), I came across this from the Huffington Post: Jackkqueline Pogue, Homeless Woman Accused Of Pushing Woman Off Train Platform, Was Schizophrenic.
Now, with all of the events that have happened last year, I have to say I'm annoyed. When something goes wrong, they automatically blame it on mental illness - in general. Now, it appears this woman actually DOES have a mental illness (specifically, untreated schizophrenia, according to the article), and I can understand it playing a part in this particular case. But I mean the past few events, like Boston, and the automatic assuming that people only do these things if they have mental illness.

Silly me, I looked at what people were saying in reply to the tweet with that article. And then I saw... This:
"Just like the people who have committed mass shootings. When will we institutionalize these people?"

I left out his Twitter handle on purpose. If he was that energetic about posting such a comment then he probably doesn't care who sees it, but I don't know that it's for me to share who it is...
It was one of those moments of "... Did someone seriously just say that?"
I double-checked his picture to see if age-related stereotyping was going on, and it very well may have. But I found it interesting that this person claimed to be a historian, a writer, a lecturer... and he was going about it without the facts.

Also, some of my clients are absolutely TERRIFIED at the idea that they may be hospitalized/EPC'd by the cops, concerned they'll be locked up.
So naturally I was a bit... Shall we say, incensed.

And like any, um, good person trying to hold their tongue in a manner yet get the point across... I schooled him. Because that kind of ignorance is unacceptable.
I provided him with information on mental illness from NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness).
I also provided him with information on schizophrenia from NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health).

In the event that you don't feel like checking out the information, let me sum it up:
Approximately 25% of the US population has a MI (mental illness) or had one at some point in their lives  -and that's before the release of the DSM-5 and the controversy that goes along with it, thank you very much. Give or take 1% of the US population has schizophrenia.
Speaking from personal experience with the population I work with, which includes SPMIs (severe and persistent mental illness - major depression as well as bipolar, schizophrenia, and schizoaffective disorders), as well as the information provided, most people with mental illness would like to be contributing members of the mainstream population. I've got clients who want to go to work and/or go to school - and clients who DO work and/or go to school. I've got clients who just aren't able to work. My supervisor has mentioned to me clients so terrified they'll be locked up that they avoid talking to others for fear that they'll see something wrong with them...
I've got cranky clients, quiet clients, boisterous clients, sweet clients, clients who laugh and giggle a lot. They have good days, and they have bad days. They enjoy watching movies, going on walks, going to the store, playing games, dancing... Laughing at Betty White's antics (we recently watched The Proposal for a laugh in my Stress Management group). We've had the occasional violent/aggressive client (see also: not often at all). Many of our clients are really quite intelligent - one who can school everyone on a certain counseling theory, another who is amazing at math, and who enjoyed science so much he taught it to his peers, multiple who've taught me a thing or two about music (and I used to be a music ed major!), and another who is so amazing at history it's a little scary! We've got one who's such a proud, new papa that he adores showing off pictures of his little one, all you have to do is ask. ☺

How is this any different from the rest of the population?

(The large font was unintentional. It happened that was because I increase the font on my smiley faces... But it worked out quite well, no?)

Mostly we have clients who want to fit in. Who want friends. Who want to be accepted. Who feel left out. Who will offer you support if it looks like you're having a hard time, and who will look out for you.
Some who miss the choices and lifestyle they had prior to the start of their symptoms and their diagnosis. I have a client who, to this day, well over a decade later, grieves the fact that, for her, mental illness means she has no option of even adopting children.

As for schizophrenia in particular, we've got a number of clients who wear headphones and listen to music to help with any auditory hallucinations (that is, hearing voices or other things). Sometimes they play whatever. There are a few in particular... One person loves classical music. There's another who enjoys rap, I believe - I'll have to ask what he's listening to some day. Another person likes a little bit of everything - and when the music is up loud enough, I find myself wanting to sing/dance along to it, because it's music that I also enjoy.

Riddle me this: How can you say that all people with mental illness are violent and should be locked up? Do you even know all people with mental illness? And what about the people who are violent and don't have a mental illness?

Oh, and saying someone is "mentally disturbed" or something to that effect isn't the same thing as "having a mental illness". Just FYI.

Basically: Having a mental illness doesn't mean someone is a bad person, or that they should be locked up. Although if you want to make a case for more mental health services to be available to people, be my guest.
Lumping everyone with mental illness into the category of being "violent" or something else equally unflattering isn't helping anyone.
I can guarantee you know or have met someone with a mental illness, or who has experienced a mental illness with a loved one.
By the way, ADHD, Postpartum as an onset specifier to a mood disorder (as in, the mood disorder started postpartum), and premature ejaculation are in the DSM-IV-TR, people.

Just saying. (Had to throw that last one in there for good measure, you see. haha)

☺

The joys of adulthood

I've been MIA in blogging, I know. I mean, HARDCORE MIA in blogging. As in, I don't remember the last time I made a post.

There have been plenty of things that have come up that I could have posted on... But haven't. It seems I'm to that lovely point of adulthood where I work 40-50+ hours a week... And then I sleep.
DH even jokes about my routine. I get up, have a bowl of cereal, go to work, come home, sometimes take a nap, sometimes read... Go to sleep. Add a shower in there somewhere, maybe add in a run - which is lovely for someone who has a number of long-distance runs coming up in the next 7 months, I know.

Nobody tells you that growing up means working a lot and sleeping instead of having a life, do they? (yes, I just rolled my eyes)

Let's see... I know a picture is worth a thousand words, but I'm kind of lacking pictures at the moment.

• Just over a month ago (on May 4th) I graduated with my M.S. in Community Counseling :D
• On May... 12th I completed the Runway Run. I was either 5th or 6th from the end, but I did it! Other than the Princess Half Marathon, THAT was the event that got me interested in running :D 7 miles in 1:29:06... I admit to being a little miffed that it was 3 second slower than I thought, but I beat my goal of 1:30:00! :D
• On May 29th, the hubs and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
• Two days later my hubs celebrated his birthday. No clue why I married him so close to his birthday. Shopping for gifts was a pain! :P
• Two days later was our 6-year dating anniversary. See above, but this time no gifts.
• Aaaaaaaand, good ol' June! On the 6th I apparently was issued my PLMHP (Provisionally Licensed Mental Health Practitioner). Got it in the mail on the 7th, started supervision this week to work toward a license that DOESN'T say "provisional"!
• Lacking running motivation. I think part of it is related to the heat.
• What I lack in running motivation, I make up for doing three walks a week with my clients at work to improve physical (and hopefully mental!) health. Nothing like getting out and getting moving!
• Speaking of which (see also: reminder to self) I've got clients who often pace due to not being able to sit in a group/class for 45 minutes... I need to invite them on the walks
• Today... I realized that I have walked and run at least 280 miles this year. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay less than I'd hoped to have achieved at this point, but let's face it... I'm doing better at this than I ever have. I may not reach my Moon Jogger goal of 2,013 miles this year (and I still have 6.5 months to go!!!), but I'm doing so much better than I EVER thought I would have done as far as running, walking, and overall exercise.
• Speaking of which, my ILs and DH got me registered for the Dopey Challenge as a graduation present!! SO excited. NEVER would I have thought I'd be doing a marathon. But in 7 months time, I will be sticking it out there and trying my best - and doing it. I won't be the first to finish, but it'll be a first for me. And I'm excited.

Random blurb, that I may have mentioned before: After the Boston Marathon events, I had a friend text me to make sure I wasn't there.

Let's face it, there's no way I'm getting a BQ - at least, not any time soon, not without a whole lot more effort and all.

But, HELLO, love and support. I know she doesn't know a person has to qualify, but the feeling was "She thinks I can BQ!" Add that to the other supportive people in my life, and it's all golden.

So, being an adult is busier than I thought, considering I have pretty similar hours the ones I kept in high school - only difference is I'm in bed by 11 usually. Or at 9:30 I'm asleep on the bed until DH pokes me and tells me to get ready for bed. LOL.

Oh, the joys of being an adult.

And yes, I am surprised that it's just barely 9. I thought I was 22, not 222! haha

Dreaming

Isn't it funny how, when you feel that you've almost given up on a dream, or you think that maybe you have, something happens to make you realize that not only are you still dreaming, but it's within reach! It may take a while, but it's still within reach.

For example, I never thought I'd get anywhere with my dream of being a photographer. Ever. Other than bring a blah enthusiast. But right now I'm at a school... I do school portraits. It's not the event/on-location/studio photography I was hoping for, but it's pretty special. And it's not always easy. But it's great.
For example, I'm at a (mild-to-moderate) special needs school of preschoolers... The last picture of a student that I took this morning? I almost had it earlier, then we had to come back to him because he got fussy. So we came back to him, and he was crying and was having none of it. Then the teacher who was holding him started playing around with him, (carefully) swinging/dipping him in her arms, and getting him to smile. I had her lean out of the way a bit and Voila!! Great picture :) I was afraid we would get it, but I'm nothing if not determined - determined to get a shot his family will be happy with, and determined to keep upbeat and assure the teachers that it's ok if some kids need more time than others, that it's not a problem.
I still have quite a way to go with getting the technical aspects down, and I certainly don't own a DSLR yet, but it really makes me want to do more than just school portraits!
(That and this Thursday I have to be at work at 4:15. Yes, 4:15. In the MORNING! I could live without that) ;)

As for the running... I never even dared to dream that I could do what I'm doing now, that I would ever even WANT to go more than a mile, that I would want to go 5k and 10k and 13.1 miles (21k/half marathon)... If I dream big enough and work hard at it, maybe I'll even want to do a marathon some day!
And I'm so excited, not just for Disney's Princess Half Marathon (and the 5k the day before, and just being at Disney World! HELLO, DISNEY WORKD!!!!) but one of the races this year is in the town my great-grandmother lives in. I'm really hoping that they'll have it again next year. My great-grandma is in her 90s, and my grandparents are in their 70s, and I'd just love to see them. It would be great to see them, and maybe even have my grandma watch me compete.
Mind you, this race is 1000+ miles away.

I don't dream in half-measures, you know ;)

I'm also thinking about doing a thesis to get a Master of Arts instead of a Master of Science. I won't spill my topic idea just yet :) I'd thought about doing one before, but the topic I had just didn't feel right... But now this topic? It really speaks to me. I only have a semester to get it done - although common sense says to start getting it together NOW so I can get it cranked out.

Around January I'll also be finding out if I get accepted into a doctoral program...
And depending on how my internship goes, in January I may be starting at a different place - or just having TWO internships so that I can finally be provisionally licensed as an alcohol and drug counselor.

As I said, I definitely don't dream small. But I know that each of these dreams? I can do them. I'm so excited to do them. I WILL do them.

I have decided...

I want to go ahead and do the wedding planner course.

I've looked at a few websites, and the one I'll likely end up going with (due to price, as well as other things) is:
https://www.aa-wp.com/wedding-planning-course/order-wedding-planning-course/info/
The American Academy of Wedding Professionals.
$79/month for 6 months.
Sure beats the $137.50/month for 12 months that The Wedding Planning Institute was going to charge WITH books ($124.50/month for 12 months withOUT the books).

We'll see how it goes. I've thought about this for a while, and the idea of actually doing it is pretty cool.

I'm going to think it over a bit more. I mean, rent's been taken care of and all, but gotta make sure we're good on next month's rent as well (nothing like planning ahead!), and then there's the coming holiday season.

I do feel like everything will eventually work out fine. I just hope that my feeling isn't wrong, and that "eventually" isn't too far away over the horizon.

I think I can do this :)

And even better, being a wedding (or even an event) planner doesn't have to be a full-time job. It can be, but it doesn't have to be.
I'm thinking I like the idea of day-of coordination as well as assisting with details more than straight-up planning someone's wedding head-to-toe. But I think that either way I do it I'd be able to make it work :)

I have big dreams. Of lots of things. I just hope my dreams don't get too far ahead of me.

I admit to being a little confused

Who out there has a dream or a goal, something they wish they could do? Even if it's not something like "This is the job I want to do for the rest of my life," but still a dream of "I'd like to at least be able to say I've done this."

Is it weird that I'm feeling the need/desire to get all of these things done?
Like get my CNA, get ordained, become a certified life coach, renew my CPR cert... become a certified wedding planner...

I mean, to an extent I find all of these things useful - although the wedding planning bit might be excessive, but the idea stands that I might be able to use psychology as a wedding planner. Heck, they like us in sales, right??
And no time like the present to start doing things I've thought about doing, right? (within reason, of course. $500 CNA course? nooooo. gotta pick a time to do something I can *afford*)
And hey, who wouldn't want a Social Services or Activities Director in Assisted Living who can train to do a funeral? (... lol? ...)

But I feel like I'm bouncing all over the place. I don't want to use it all as "filler," just stuff to keep myself occupied... But I *do* think that some of these things will open doors for me.
The life coach bit, I'm not sure what that will really do for me, but it was recommended by a professor...
Also, I'm concerned that on a resume it'll look like I'm just "there."

I guess I'm worried that counseling may not be my "thing," although I know that this is actually quite silly, especially because I've been comparing myself (in my first semester) to people who are ready to graduate or have at least been in the program a couple years. And it'd be nice to have credentials to fall back on.
Or, at the very least, I'll be able to look at myself and go "I did something I wanted to do."

(Anyone ever read Bookends by Jane Green? Main character Cath quits her job to do what she's dreamed of doing and open a bookstore, and at her farewell party her former boss says s/he's jealous because Cath is taking the risk to do what she's dreamed of doing and the boss isn't)

I must say that I'm feeling perfectly inadequate right now.
I have a job that's willing to work around the hours I'm unavailable. Heck, just the fact that I have a job.
Not only that, but the people I work with/for are wonderful. They're really sweet, and I love popping by the office to see them. If possible, I would like to continue working there.

But the fact remains that I need a steadier full-time job. And nobody wants me. Or I look "good," but "good" is not the same thing as "good enough."

I really don't know what I'm trying to say.

I remember when the hubs and I got engaged, and I started planning our wedding... And planning with different budgets, working the breakdown of budgets, areas to skimp on, areas to not skimp on, looking at dresses, planning things, finding invitations... I really felt that at some point I wouldn't mind helping other people plan out their weddings. Even if it was just a friend (and who knows, maybe one friend's wedding can turn into a friend's friend's FRIEND'S wedding).

I guess I just have all these ideas or dreams or whatever, but no clue how to get to them and make them work.

Oh, and the CPR thing is just useful. Like if I get back into babysitting to make extra cash, lots of people want a babysitter who knows CPR. And even though my CPR cert recommends I renew it in July, I know well enough that a CPR cert really is only a year-long thing for constant training and brushing-up. The place I got it recommended redoing it at least every two years.

Heck, I still haven't forgotten about my idea of brushing up on my photography skills enough to take pictures for people - even amateur wedding/engagement/family ones, as long as they're nice. As well as maybe becoming a bartender.

I look at all these things... Bartending, photography, wedding planning, being a CNA... and I see how much more money I could make, how much MORE I could contribute to the life my husband and I live, without always being concerned about if I can make enough to get rent paid and pay for gasoline and groceries and bills and, well, LIFE... How I would be able to do things like work more reasonable hours (yes, I know brides are not always reasonable!) and actually have free time around the same time as my husband, as opposed to only being free whenever he's at work or has homework to do.

I'm frustrated.
And I'm thinking.

Oh, I also got ordained last night by Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC) as well as American Marriage Ministries (AMM). Although I ordered the certificate from ULC. It's cheaper, and I don't need to register in the state of Nebraska. LOL.
So at least there's one thing off my list that I don't have to complain that I never did.

That is all. For now :)

It seems my hard-earned degree isn't worth crap

I graduated with my BS in Psychology in May. Even before I graduated I was looking for jobs relating to my degree (or at least something I'd be vaguely interested in or can at least do and not want to choke myself).

I work in non-medical in-home senior care. My hours aren't guaranteed, but mire often than not I'm getting a bunch of hours - but my hours are really whenever and wherever.

I love my job, but I'm going nuts. I had a smoking client for 7 days of the last 13. A couple of those days when my shift ended I felt like I was going to be sick (I'm a non-smoker).
I want to tell the office I won't work with smoking clients, but the husband and I aren't financially in a position where I can pick and choose, since we both work and go to school, but I'm the only one who can really get full-time in around my classes and our health insurance takes $250 out of his paycheck every two weeks and the extra money he makes goes to paying off his car and groceries.

I KNOW what I want to do, but without my MS (in two years) I can't do it.

For months I've been looking for a job, but what they don't tell you in school is that unless you're good in sales then nobody wants someone with an undergrad psychology degree. They want social work.
I can't tell you how many times I've heard people say social work degrees can do more than psychology degrees. Even my sister says it (and sounds extremely pissed off when discussing it, and she's very level-headed).

So now I'm faced with finding a place to get my PLADC (provisional licensed alcohol and drug counselor) and potentially losing work hours, or find a way to beef up my credentials by taking classes (can't afford to just drop $500 on CNA classes, not at this moment, and keep in mind I'm already a full-time grad student), or find a second job - but most places I've looked want someone who can also do weekends, and I actually have a steady weekend client.

I find myself bouncing around. I had one teacher tell me a PLADC was basically worthless. He also told my class we should get life coach certified, to add to our resume, but that it's kind of silly (cynical much?).

I'm finding so many things I CAN do until I get my MS (in counseling), and that doing them might be beneficial in the long run but absurdly selfish in the immediate future. $500 for a CNA course? Rent's covered, but we like to make sure at least the next month's is good too.
Life coach, CNA, PLADC, hell I've even looked at wedding planning and getting ordained. Because maybe it would be SOMETHING that works.

I'm the main breadwinner in our household, the money isn't terrible, but I'm the one whose credentials don't mean anything to prospective employers, the one who barely makes above minimum wage, and I keep finding myself faced with "what ifs." Like "what if I can't afford car insurance when my car is signed over to me next month?" because then I CAN'T work (job requires proof of insurance, since I transport clients) AND it's kind of illegal.

I'm done with my vent now.