Motivation = Down

I can't tell if I'm having a couple of down days or if this is really what Disneyland and Dumbo are going to turn into...
I bought our plane tickets for Dumbo on Friday. That's about the only thing that's gone right with this whole thing, and even then that's messed up.
We're flying into John Wayne, so not very far away... But we're flying out of San Diego - which is two hours from Disneyland... In good traffic. And no clue how we'll be getting there. We'll probably end up leaving at like 10 just to make sure we get to the airport with plenty of time. Of course, the return flights have a 60% and 50% rate of being on-time. I've never knowingly bought tickets that said anything less than, oh, 80%. Not if I could help it.
At least the plane tickets were fairly cheap in comparison to others I saw - the cheapest, actually.

And the hotels at Disneyland are sold out. Or rather, I found one that was available every day we needed it - EXCEPT the night before the half! ::facepalm::

So I'll be calling tomorrow to see what I can get figured out. The hubs says he'll do it, but the fact of the matter is... I'm our trip planner, usually. Comparing hotels, plane tickets, you name it.
I'm getting sick of being told to not worry about it. I've been hearing that for months, but now it really IS time to worry about it, when even nearby hotels seem to be sold out, AND I'm probably going to end up paying the $600 donation minimum just to run in the races!

It seems likes just when things start working out, they don't.

I tried for a month to get ahold of someone about holding a family walk/run to raise money for the charity... Would you believe I finally got ahold of someone at the beginning of this month? I had the possibilities all planned out, and then when I put my foot down because people got carried away with planning without consulting me, I got "Oh, well, we don't have enough time to do this, forget about it!" Well, we HAD enough time then. Now I've barely got a month before the fundraising deadline, and what's the use of me bringing up any other fundraising ideas when the three I've had have completely fallen through in some way or another?

I'm starting to wonder what the point in all of this really is. The fact of the matter is that this trip was supposed to be fun, but now it's just a pain in the neck.

Oh, and I double-booked us on pasta parties. RunDisney only sends out Disneyland Half Weekend RACE registration confirmations from one section, and the rest from another - at least, they did that for me, but not DH. So I thought we didn't have Pasta in the Park tickets.
Well, we do.
And now we have tickets for the free pasta dinner with the charity.
Same day. Same time.
Do you go to the party you paid an arm and a leg for, or the free party where you get to meet the people you've been raising attempting to raise money for?
Or do you find a way to go to both?

It's just one nightmare after another, and I can't help but ask myself why I'm going, other than what's been paid - and what's going to come out of my bank account when I don't reach the fundraising minimum. Ouch.

My annual appointment sounds more fun than this. Although I never saw the big deal about annuals, once you get past the first one.
But that's beside the point.

Well, it's now 12:01.
45 days until Disneyland.
Woo.
Goodnight.

Learning by Burning? Nope, Avoiding Burnout!

I know I just posted a new blog very recently (as in, less than two minutes ago as I type this), but this is an issue important enough to me that it deserved its own post.

Burnout.

So far, it's something I've managed to avoid. But in the last couple months (specifically, February with its crazy test prep and anxiety and everything) it seemed like burnout was something that was going to hit me - and hard.

It's no secret among my friends that I'm a bit of a night owl. But I'm starting to get it together and try to go to bed, uh, BEFORE midnight or one in the morning (see also: No more checking Groupon right at midnight! ... Yes, yes I am that person... Or I was, at least).
I also have to wonder if part of that had to do with me being tired.

To condense a suuuuuper long story, it's been stressful. Super stressful. If you've checked out previous posts, you know about comps. I've also not been working as much as I used to.

Correction: I'm working more, when you add in my internship, I just wasn't getting paid for it.

Nothing like basically working a full-time job and not getting paid for it, huh?

On the same note, because my schedule has been reduced to only weekends for my one job, and my stable client moved to be by other family, I haven't been working much.
See also: three hours every other weekend.
(Mind you, this client I see every other week is such a sweetheart. Love her!)

But the fact remains, I was relying on my husband for income. What I was making wouldn't even cover our gas bill sometimes (No, I will not say how much the paycheck is, or what our gas bill is... But either way, it's a big drop from working 15-ish hours every weekend). And I was sick of it. Sick of it, and worrying myself sick because I just want to make sure bills get paid, and for a while when we first got married we'd had an agreement that I would be the predominant provider due to school scheduling and all. I wasn't used to relying on someone else, but I WAS used to working my tail off.
And after a while, especially as I realized that I was racking up internship hours (BTW, I'm OFFICIALLY done with them! Nearly 200 over my total minimum needed), but I was tired. I was frustrated. I was appreciated, and I knew it, but it was hard. Especially when I'm used to doing the math to make sure bills get paid, even though I KNOW they'll get paid. I can't recall ever having been late on a bill.

But it was always me saying "I'll take care of it", simply for the fact that my family stresses education BIG-time. And I already have my Bachelor's degree, and I didn't want my husband to worry about finances while completing his... And there was no was he was dropping out of school to work. No way.

Eventually it takes its toll on you.

I have to say, I'm super excited that I've been hired on as an official full-time staff at my internship. It's exciting. It's exhilarating, and enjoyable, and it gives me such an opportunity to learn (and grow and be more flexible - it's amazing what having a set of keys can do...). I've enjoyed the staff since I started there - actually, today felt like it was my first day again, I was that excited and happy, and the consumers were excited to hear that I'd be staying on.

However, a small part of me wondered... Is it the excitement getting RID of the tinglings of burnout, or is it the excitement HIDING those feelings?
Either way, I tend to use the excitement to my advantage.

Let's face it, as an unpaid intern working 30-40 hours a week... Who'd already completed her minimum required hours, and far EXCEEDED them... After a while, you start losing the motivation to... Show up early or on time (I know, cardinal sin in the workplace! Horribly shameful, and something I know better than to do). To feel good about going.

One of the things we talk about in the Anxiety and Phobia group that I lead there... Is "Personal Meaning".
I have to say that being hired there... Gives me a sense of meaning when being there. More than before. It gives me a sense of direction. I can learn more about the position. Help out more. Get more into the documentation side of things, learn more about the processes. Not feel like I'm nagging someone when I have scheduled a one-on-one meeting with someone, and I need keys to open the phone room. Be able to meet with more individuals one-on-one.

Oh, and here's a big one: I feel more accepted.

Not that I wasn't to begin with, but when the desire, anticipation, excitement, and determination start waning, and burnout starts setting in... It's kind of hard to be enjoyable to be around, I'm sure, and when it's comes to wondering if someone will be reliable... That shouldn't happen, but I know it's something that happens to many, many people out there in the world.
My head's been churning with ideas, with the possibilities of the things I can do and the ways I can contribute - that was a big thing with me before I switched departments at my internship. I was welcome, until it became apparent that there were many things that, as an intern, I couldn't do alone. Then I became a bit of an annoyance to at least one person. Thankfully someone understood - the guy who was in the program with me, and interned in another department before he was hired. He understood that it wasn't easy, and that it could be terribly limited, and for that I'm grateful.

Ok, enough of my gabbing about burnout and the importance of having a sense of meaning and direction. I think I'm done blogging for the night. Thank you and thank you ☺

Disneyland, here we come! (fundraising tips welcome)

Race registration for the Dumbo Double Dare opened this morning. The DDD isn't anywhere near as long as the Goofy's Race and a Half Challenge (half marathon/13.1 miles one day, full marathon/26.2 miles the next, for a total of 39.3 miles.
But the DDD still looks pretty promising. It's doing a 10K (6.2 miles) one day, and then a half marathon the next day, for a total of 19.3 miles.

I was one of the many many many many MANY people upset with runDisney. I tried for over an hour to get into the race, but the site kept glitching because so many people were trying to register. And by the time I got to it, it was already sold out! The DDD filled up in about 30-45 minutes after it became available to the general public!
(The part that bugs me about that is they KNEW there would be a mad dash for it - it's the first year for the DDD and the 10K there, after all. And yet the website wasn't equipped to handle it. I even checked different events on the website to see if it was just trouble getting that race to load. Nope, the whole site)
It also turns out that there were only about 5,000 spots available... And plenty of people were able to pre-register at the Walt Disney World Marathon Weekend, as well as at the Tinker Bell Half Marathon Weekend, if you were an Annual Pass holder, if you had a Disney Visa credit card (almost makes me wish I'd decided to get one but, uh, no thanks). The DDD was between 60-80% full by the time the general public got to it. Not only that, there were people (like myself) who signed up for an email alert about registration. By the time I finally got the email, registration was closed!

It's amazing how many people, like myself, were mad with the whole thing. I hadn't expected it to be so wide-spread. It was even more amazing how many people were saying something along the lines of "It's not runDisney's fault. You should've gone to a race!"
I'll be the first to tell you, me doing Disney World AND Disneyland in one year? That's a HUGE splurge for me. Call it a bucket list thing, if you will... Although I don't actually have a set "bucket list". If it had been as simple as "Oh, well, you just didn't get to it in time", that's one thing.

Anyway, let me quit my ranting and raving. It's really getting me nowhere.

So I went ahead and registered for the 10K. QUICKLY. At the time I registered, the 10K was about 90-92% full. Then I registered for the half which, at this time, is about 85% full. Unless the website has been updated some time in the last 5 minutes, but I think it's probably closer to 80-85% full by now, if not more. We shall see.
The hubs will be doing the 5K, and we can be each other's cheerleader. I'm looking forward to it, and maybe holding a sign for him, since this will be a 5K he's doing by himself - the 10K starts 45 minutes after the 5K, so unless he's doing an 8:00 mile or something, I don't think I'd have enough time to be able to see him before I take off for my race.

Onward with where I'm getting with this blog!
I kept seeing people saying "Hey, you know, you can register to run with a charity. They still have open spots for the DDD!" Eventually I decided to just check it out.
The A-T Children's Project had a spot where I could become a fundraiser, even though I'd already registered for the race. AND they still have DDD projects. So I figured I'd jump on the chance. And I took it - although I'm still trying to figure out how to get from "I already registered, but wasn't able to get into the DDD" to "I'm registered for the DDD".

It wasn't the easiest decision to make. I'll be the first to tell you that I can't pronounce all of ataxia-telangiectasia. I just can't. I'm getting closer, but I feel like I'm butchering it. So in addition to the weird feeling I had (coughHAVEcough) about "I'm going to raise funds for something, but I can't pronounce it", my main concern was "I've got about 6.5 months to raise $600. How am I going to do it?"

Ok, so that's an average of about $100 a month. No problem. Except... I'm no fundraising whiz. Never have been. But the hubs really settled it for me.
"We're going to be there, we might as well do some good and help others."
(paraphrasing, but you get the basic gist of it)
AND he said that if I wasn't able to raise the $600, he'd take care of it, and not to worry. And, well, 6.5 months.
Yes, my husband said that. Something tells me I should keep him ;)

Well, it's that time of the night. I'm gonna ski-daddle. Any tips/suggestions for fundraising are more than welcome!
Also, here's the link to My A-T Children's Project Page.

Goodnight!

I admit to being a little confused

Who out there has a dream or a goal, something they wish they could do? Even if it's not something like "This is the job I want to do for the rest of my life," but still a dream of "I'd like to at least be able to say I've done this."

Is it weird that I'm feeling the need/desire to get all of these things done?
Like get my CNA, get ordained, become a certified life coach, renew my CPR cert... become a certified wedding planner...

I mean, to an extent I find all of these things useful - although the wedding planning bit might be excessive, but the idea stands that I might be able to use psychology as a wedding planner. Heck, they like us in sales, right??
And no time like the present to start doing things I've thought about doing, right? (within reason, of course. $500 CNA course? nooooo. gotta pick a time to do something I can *afford*)
And hey, who wouldn't want a Social Services or Activities Director in Assisted Living who can train to do a funeral? (... lol? ...)

But I feel like I'm bouncing all over the place. I don't want to use it all as "filler," just stuff to keep myself occupied... But I *do* think that some of these things will open doors for me.
The life coach bit, I'm not sure what that will really do for me, but it was recommended by a professor...
Also, I'm concerned that on a resume it'll look like I'm just "there."

I guess I'm worried that counseling may not be my "thing," although I know that this is actually quite silly, especially because I've been comparing myself (in my first semester) to people who are ready to graduate or have at least been in the program a couple years. And it'd be nice to have credentials to fall back on.
Or, at the very least, I'll be able to look at myself and go "I did something I wanted to do."

(Anyone ever read Bookends by Jane Green? Main character Cath quits her job to do what she's dreamed of doing and open a bookstore, and at her farewell party her former boss says s/he's jealous because Cath is taking the risk to do what she's dreamed of doing and the boss isn't)

I must say that I'm feeling perfectly inadequate right now.
I have a job that's willing to work around the hours I'm unavailable. Heck, just the fact that I have a job.
Not only that, but the people I work with/for are wonderful. They're really sweet, and I love popping by the office to see them. If possible, I would like to continue working there.

But the fact remains that I need a steadier full-time job. And nobody wants me. Or I look "good," but "good" is not the same thing as "good enough."

I really don't know what I'm trying to say.

I remember when the hubs and I got engaged, and I started planning our wedding... And planning with different budgets, working the breakdown of budgets, areas to skimp on, areas to not skimp on, looking at dresses, planning things, finding invitations... I really felt that at some point I wouldn't mind helping other people plan out their weddings. Even if it was just a friend (and who knows, maybe one friend's wedding can turn into a friend's friend's FRIEND'S wedding).

I guess I just have all these ideas or dreams or whatever, but no clue how to get to them and make them work.

Oh, and the CPR thing is just useful. Like if I get back into babysitting to make extra cash, lots of people want a babysitter who knows CPR. And even though my CPR cert recommends I renew it in July, I know well enough that a CPR cert really is only a year-long thing for constant training and brushing-up. The place I got it recommended redoing it at least every two years.

Heck, I still haven't forgotten about my idea of brushing up on my photography skills enough to take pictures for people - even amateur wedding/engagement/family ones, as long as they're nice. As well as maybe becoming a bartender.

I look at all these things... Bartending, photography, wedding planning, being a CNA... and I see how much more money I could make, how much MORE I could contribute to the life my husband and I live, without always being concerned about if I can make enough to get rent paid and pay for gasoline and groceries and bills and, well, LIFE... How I would be able to do things like work more reasonable hours (yes, I know brides are not always reasonable!) and actually have free time around the same time as my husband, as opposed to only being free whenever he's at work or has homework to do.

I'm frustrated.
And I'm thinking.

Oh, I also got ordained last night by Universal Life Church Monastery (ULC) as well as American Marriage Ministries (AMM). Although I ordered the certificate from ULC. It's cheaper, and I don't need to register in the state of Nebraska. LOL.
So at least there's one thing off my list that I don't have to complain that I never did.

That is all. For now :)

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that I was supposed to be ashamed of the choices I make.

I can usually take some things in stride, but I can only take so much of people giving me shit about the decisions I make in my life.

Yes, there's something on my mind.
As you can clearly tell.

I eat processed food. Probably more than I should, but I do.
I watch what I eat, nonetheless.
I drink skim milk.
Actually, I drink cow's milk in general.
The only kind of soy milk I like is the vanilla stuff from Silk. Other than that I HATE soy milk.
Yes, I HAVE tried soy milk.
I even prefer lactose-free non-fat milk (see also: skim) to soy. It's actually pretty good.
I eat meat. I have no desire to NOT eat meat.
Yes, I CAN tell the difference between egg beaters and real eggs.
All the same, I am aware that egg beaters are "real" eggs, just not the whole thing. I don't really like egg beaters.
Yes, there is a difference between meats, and not just due to seasoning. Texture does play a part in it, and it has nothing to do with "what you expect it to be."
What I expect my meat to be is dead and fully cooked. I can't always tell the difference between, say, chicken and turkey, but I can tell the difference between beef and chicken.
I typically don't go for organic food. Don't ask me why. I'm not quite sure, myself. I had a reason, but I'm not entirely sure about it.
That's not to say I don't EVER go for organic. It's just that I'm not going to spend my time ONLY going for organic.

Drinking skim milk and eating processed food and meat will not kill me.
Not unless I neglect to take care of myself in general. And, you know, PAY ATTENTION.

My cholesterol isn't out of control. I keep a close eye on my (really good) blood pressure.
I'm probably at risk for diabetes. It runs in the family and I know it.
But I pay attention to my body.

Do NOT try to throw science in my face, going "Well, scientists say this."
I accept that's how you feel, but to try to use that to tell me what I am and am not experiencing is complete crap. For example, there's more to meat than "how it's seasoned."
Oh, and I can taste the difference between regular peanut butter and reduced fat. I prefer regular.

If you want to not eat meat and not drink cow's milk (or any milk from an animal) then be my guest.

But do NOT try to make me feel inferior or ashamed of the choices I have made in my life.
Because, to be honest, I don't find a damn thing wrong with them.

To each their own.

Finding happiness. Part 2

You know, when DH and I got married and the wedding was over and done with, I didn't feel the mysterious "wedding blues" that so many brides talk about. When they finish planning a wedding and then it seems like there's nothing more to do, because they planned and planned and then suddenly everything's over in the spam of one day.

I haven't felt that.
Truth be told, there was no reason for me to feel that. If anything, I was exceedingly glad that the wedding was over. After nearly 2.5 years, stress, stupid people, people trying to tell me what was right or wrong when really it was none if their business (I mean, who gives a damn if I don't have a guest book? Someone offered to give me one because I said DH and I saw no need for one and they didn't think it was right), all the flowers and decorations and ribbons I bought leading up to the wedding (some of which weren't even used), the extra programs and the brand new, unused invitations...
I was more than content leaving all that behind.

Not so content to find out that half the wedding crap ended up in the trunk of my car, reminding me of the things that didn't go all that well... Like how we ran out if rises because there were FAR more military members than I expected present, so I just looked like an idiot with a few extra people standing up front, empty-handed due to the lack of foresight (and their lack of RSVPs, making me have to guess).

And now, a month and a half later, I'm still upset at how my mother's memorial vase was done poorly.
Actually, I think shittily really sums up how I feel about it. I left someone else in charge of the vase and it ended up looking horrible, not doing my mother ANY justice and people were unable to read the engraving I had on the vase.

With the wedding over it was time to get back to real life. I welcomed the change.

But nothing seems different.

I know that might not make all that much sense. But it doesn't really feel like we're married. That can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it.

There has yet to be a moment that made me think "wow, I'm really married." Granted, we also both work pretty much opposite times, so most of the time it's trying to spend time together when we're not exhausted. Which is what most couples have to do, I guess...


This morning as I was trying to sleep it occurred to me that a year ago yesterday is when my mother had her stroke.
I don't always think about it, but sometimes can't help but remember that the day she had a stroke, I didn't even visit her. I was running late, so I only got a couple of hours in at my internship. Then I had to leave so I wouldn't miss my flight.
Typically when I was at my internship (at the assisted living facility) I made sure to drop by to see her. Even it was only for a short moment while I was taking mail to the residents all around the building.

It would figure that the day I was too preoccupied to bother was the last day I would've been able to see my mother outside of a hospital. Alive.

I called my sister when I couldn't sleep. It was around two in the morning her time, but she still made time to talk to me. And she made a couple valid points. For instance, I love my mother and she knew that. And my mother loved me
Nothing like a big sister, huh?

I'm not looking forward to the next couple weeks.
I turn 21, and the very next day it'll be a year since my mother died.

Doesn't really seem all that fair.

I figured I'll take off the 31st, even though it's my longest work day (10 hours) for my family. But sensibility says I'll take it off not just for them but to have a moment for me.

... I just hope work doesn't decide I'm taking it off to nurse a hangover. I have am aversion to pain.

I have to wonder what I'll do for my birthday. Going out with my friends sounds like fun. I wouldn't mind trying alcohol. I think.
Although staying home with a book sounds fun, too. I guess. But spending time with people you care about is just as nice.

Well, the next two weeks will work as they please.
And it makes it kind of hard to look forward to a birthday.

Talk about stress...

Alright, now if we're going to talk about stress...
My last post, the first bridesmaid (the one I live with)... We'll call her A.

Ugh, I don't even know where to begin. It's all just this big headache, and with just over two weeks until the end of the semester (and I'm talking 2 weeks and a day until I move out, which is contingent upon my finals schedule) I have no idea if A's moving out now or if she's just moving some stuff and not going to be around the rest of the time.

We decided to have a roommate meeting because, quite frankly, 3 of us (me, R, and K - R & K share a room) were less than pleased about the turn of events of someone else's (M) stuff being moved into our place, us not being asked just told (and K only found out from me and R!), the possibility that all of us could've been in trouble for something we apparently had no say in - despite the fact that we live there and M doesn't.

So we decided on a meeting time, and after we decided on a time to meet we found out her mom was in the hospital.

Ok, so now I feel like a jerk. We're going to have this meeting with a girl who we're all kind of pissed off with to some extent, and her mom's in the ICU.

So we have the meeting, and then R and K get to say their piece, and A seems ok with it... But then I start talking (with something along the lines of "You realize you live with us, not her. Right?" because it's true and we were feeling disrespected! Who moves someone ELSE'S stuff into a room/suite they share with someone, and doesn't ask? Someone else's artwork was on our walls, and we weren't even ASKED! hello, it's 4 people in an apartment-style dorm with 2 bedrooms!) and as soon as i started going there she got huffy with me, and had the nerve to walk out on me, among other things.

And when K and I got back from dinner last night, we found a POST-IT NOTE, of all thing, A POST-IT on our bathroom door saying "I won't be here tonight."
Um, thanks?

It's like the episode of Sex and the City where Berger broke up with Carrie on a post-it note.
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!

So then she sends us all a text this morning saying she'd be by to pack of some of her stuff. Not much in the room changes when she does get here, but then she tells K (or maybe me, I don't remember) that she'll be back to get the rest of it later.
THE REST OF WHAT? Like everything, or just some things? Because she was only taking it some of it home over Easter break because of space in a family member's vehicle, so she'd be able to get the rest at graduation time.

SO now nobody know's what's going on.

K tried to speak to A this morning, ask her how her mom was...

K: Your mom's in the hospital?
A: I already told V and R, they know this!
K: ... Yeah, they told me...

It's kinda like "Gee, thanks, I've only lived with you for 2 years, thanks for not letting me know what the heck is going on or not thinking enough of me to tell me yourself!"

Some people just really need to grow up and get over it.
I'm tired.

And then this morning! Now with A, but with a classmate's presentation.

He presented on medical marijuana, and you can tell that he's all for it.
But in addition to talking about legalizing marijuana (mostly medical purposes), he brought up good points, talked about the pros and cons, did his best to answer questions efficiently, give examples, and he had a BUNCH of resources and even a table directly from one of his sources.
Well, the whole time this girl sitting across from me was rolling her eyes, sneering, and making rude comments to the girl next to her. AND when he was answering questions she got all huffy and in a hurry about the questions she had in a hurry to prove him wrong or make him look like an ass or an idiot or something. She got all huffy with "Well, you said this and the paper said this and I don't think that's right and...."
I just wanted to be like "LOOK NOW, DID YOU LISTEN TO HIS PRESENTATION???"
Quite frankly, I think she has her own unresolved issues.

I don't CARE what she thought of his presentation, because she clearly thought it was crap, but with everybody else's presentations he was at least decent enough to not roll his eyes at everybody - and that includes her presentation that even SHE didn't like!

And I told him after class that I appreciated him not looking down his nose on other people's presentations.

Frankly, I just wanted to reach across the table and slap this girl in the face. HARD. Instead I settled for a nice knuckle cracking - much louder than the ones I usually get out when my fingers are stiff.
She really needed to be smacked...

I hate stupid and rude people.
It's funny because she only treats him like that.

Yeah, he may not have the same viewpoints as everyone else, but that doesn't mean that his are any more incorrect than yours are correct.

My father always told me that opinions are like buttholes: everybody has one.

I'm getting really sick of RSVPs...

And our RSVP date isn't for 2.5 weeks!

But for real... I've got one bridesmaid telling me she may bring two guests, but isn't sure. Finally I said something along the lines of I don't know if both of them would be able to come, if it was just one then i would be more understanding but if the two of them would be ok not coming.

HELLO, I ONLY INVITED YOU!!!!

You don't just TELL me you're bringing a guest! And it took a while for her to even tell me WHY. If she'd just said "Hey, these two people will be tag-team driving me back because I can't drive and need a way to get to the wedding, can they come to the wedding or is that not ok?" then that's different! And apparently recently she's gotten into the bad habit of telling people stuff that she really needs to ask permission for to begin with, like bringing these two people to a margarita night after the wedding, a night that another roommate's mom is doing for her daughter's CLOSE FRIENDS after the wedding (see also: mom is doing it for that bridesmaid, the roommate - her daughter and also a bridesmaid-, another roommate/bridesmaid, and an usher/close friend) AND she said something along the lines of "We could just leave afterward" - which implies drunk driving, AND which makes that friend AND her mom liable, on top of the drunk driving issue.

Furthermore, I don't know one of your "guests," the one who doesn't know ANYBODY coming to the wedding except like two people, I'm not too fond of her anyway from what I have heard (and I've heard a lot, especially because I LIVE with this bridesmaid and they're ALWAYS on the phone - and this girl is LOUD on the phone, so I hear it all). And for all i know this girl might decide to bring her weed with her! Best part is that I'm not joking...
And I'm not too fond of your other "guest," because even though she's nice, she brings too much drama to the damn bedroom we share! I'm sorry, but a 10'x10' bedroom is barely big enough for the both of us WITHOUT you moving in someone else's SHIT "because her parents might take it" - HOW OLD IS SHE???? AND I'M SICK OF HER CRYING EVERY TIME!

Our program attendant said she might bring her mom as a guest. Ok, I'm more understanding with this one, because while I didn't give her a "guest" option (we only gave 2 people a "guest" option, because one practically demanded it and the other wouldn't know many people), she also doesn't know the area very well, and would probably be more comfortable navigating the area with her mom there.
I told her that if it comes down to it then she can always stay the night before the wedding at our apartment and we could figure it out from there. Which means she has the option of not bringing her mom and hot having to stay alone.


(This next girl I'm not mad at, just frustrated that we're trying to plan things and we don't really know what to plan)
Now I've got another bridesmaid who I talked about before who may have to bring her mom and her mom's friend with her - but she told me they probably weren't attending the wedding. They'd just be coming because she's never even been to this state before, let alone this far north.
Ok, whatever. I can understand that, because she's a couple months older than me (she'll be 21 a couple weeks before the wedding), and while my dad probably wouldn't demand to come with me if I was in a situation like this, he would be on the phone with me every morning, every night, checking in and seeing how things are going.
THEN she told me that instead she was bringing a friend (which I'd said ok to AGES ago) so she and the friend were driving up.

NOW she's telling me that her mom has decided they're flying, AND her mom and her mom's friend may come - and they "probably" aren't coming to the wedding.
I know it's not her fault, but I can't help her find a hotel to stay in if they don't know exactly when they'll be coming.

Ok, LOOK NOW. I only invited one person. ONE. If there's only one name on the invitation, then that's the only person invited!!!!!
Inviting ONE doesn't mean everybody can come.
And "probably" doesn't tell me anything. Probably means there's still a chance that we're paying for extra people.

By "we," I mean my dad, because he said he'd take care of the food. But I promised my dad that I would do everything I can to keep the costs down.
Yeah, $13/person isn't the end of the world, but when you get to about 200 people coming, and most of it's family, then YES, that's a LOT of money!
We don't have all the space in the world! Not everybody can show up just because they feel like it!

GIVE ME AN ANSWER AND BE DONE WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!

Let me clarify: I'm not against people bringing guests. If they want one that badly then they can at least ASK me nicely (and the last bridesmaid I mentioned has done that), but I'm so sick of people saying they don't know if they'll be bringing guests.
Money doesn't grow on trees! (actually, isn't it made of cotton or something???)

THEN you get the people with their "I didn't get my invite yet!"
I'm sorry, but WHAT? Ok, if you didn't get your invite yet, and you said this to me, and I haven't said anything about "Oh, maybe it got lost in the mail" or "Sorry, I haven't gotten to it yet," then chances are YOU'RE NOT INVITED!
ESPECIALLY because the person that had the nerve to say this to me is a person that gave me her address "for her invite," and I TOLD her that based on space because of the number of family being invited, I didn't know whether or not I would be able to invite her.
Which is true, but also having her there would just be too much damn drama. I had enough of it when I lived with her for a semester of school, and then whenever she stopped going to school but still came crying about every little detail. My roommates and I all blocked seeing her Facebook statuses because they were all manic-depressive with either "Loving my life" or "WHY DOES MY LIFE SUCK SO BADLY?" And most of them were negative, because she kept blowing it up to be something massive. She got engaged, broke it off, complained, and then got engaged to another guy, and broke THAT one off, too - within the span of two months!

And then other people with their "Well, mark me down as coming!"
Um, can I PLEASE get back an RSVP first? Not only because I stuck the damn stamp on the envelope, but because it'd be nice to have a HARD copy of everyone coming. With 100+ invites out, there's no guarantee that I'm going to remember every single person coming if they tell me, I don't care HOW we're related!
Oh, AND they haven't bought their plane tickets yet, so there's really no guarantee there anyway! I understand they're going to TRY (one of these people is an aunt helpiing pay for the wedding cake as a gift), but EVERY SINGLE TIME they make some headway on finding plane tickets, something comes up (usually it being her reading the thing wrong and thinking things are cheaper than they actually are).

I just want to be like PLEASE send me back the RSVPs. PLEASE.
But knowing my luck i would say someone's NOT attending because they didn't bother with the freaking paper, and then they'd show up anyone and THEN where would we be, other than probably facing fees for extra people not included in the head count.

And all through this I keep reminding myself that not breathing is for dead people.

Oh, and my advisor OR the department chair of the program I'm starting next year for grad school won't pick up their phones (yes, I've sent an email and I've gotten to the "I'm calling you every five minutes or else!" phase), so i can't sign up for classes since my advisor gave me the INCORRECT information, so I'm already kinda irritated.