I apparently have times of day where I have the weirdest thoughts.
Usually it's in the morning.
For instance, one day on the way to work I saw a leaf blowing across the road.
Ok, let me give you some background information so you can see where this is going.
I live in Nebraska. Yes, NEBRASKA. As in, we have people, we have electricity, yes we even have black people (hello!!), we have lakes and rivers and all, but we DO NOT HAVE SALT WATER.
Ok, back to the story.
So I saw this leaf blowing across the road. And it reminded me of a giant shrimp.
I laughed to myself when I thought about this.
Then suddenly my brain goes "OH MY GOD YOU JUST RAN OVER A GIANT SHRIMP! AAAAAHHHHHHH!"
...
Yes, this happened. And I calmly said to myself "Shut the hell up. Nut job."
Alrighty then, now that we see that I have random thoughts, I'll keep going.
Most of my random thoughts happen in the morning. In the shower, no less.
Probably my brain saying "Why are you up so early, you freak? Go back to bed!"
So this morning the random song in my head (yes, song. we're making progress!) was the 1999 song by LFO called "Summer Girls."
If you're not too young then you should know what I mean.
"New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits. Chinese food makes me sick. And I think it's fly when girls girls stop by for the summer, for the summer."
After I finished getting this song OUT of my head (!!! last time it was Backstreet Boys. Woo...), I started thinking about a thread where people were talking about some of the weird names that they'd seen and heard.
If I haven't said it before (or if you haven't figured it out), my thought progression is weird. I promise it made sense at the time, but it was also 7:15 in the morning.
So I got to thinking about the strange things people name their kids.
Like Orangejello and LeMonjello.
Yes, you read that right.
Orange. Jello.
Lemon. Jello.
I'm sorry, people, but no matter how you put it, you named your kid after a JELLO FLAVOR!
You can pronounce it "O-rahn-juh-loh" or "luh-mahn-juh-loh" ALL that you WANT, but the fact remains that you still named your kid after JELLO.
Or "Abcde."
Which is supposedly the equivalent of "Ab-sih-dee" or "Ab-suh-dee." Or maybe even "Eb-sih-dee."
Then there's "Shithead."
I kids you not, people actually name their children this.
But not with the, uh, usual pronunciation, if you catch my drift.
...
Hold on, I have to Google how you actually pronounce this.
...
Ok, so we've got "Shuh-thayd" or "Shih-thayd."
Or "Shuh-theed"/"Shih-theed."
Even better, when I Googled the name, other names came up, too!
Like naming your child Syphilis or Testicles.
Here's the website:
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp
People, save your kid the trouble.
Ok, I got teased in 5th grade when people kept asking me "What's your secret."
And my last name, though not exactly the most profound thing in the world, kept getting me jokes about weapons.
I've known people who were upset with their names because of a spelling difference. I knew a Rhianon who wanted to change her named because she wanted a total of 3 n's in it (Rhiannon).
I've also known people who embraced the fact that their names weren't the usual Britney/Brittany, Ashley, Courtney that were apparently VERY popular when I was born (and I do mean VERY popular), even though it had the potential of meaning that they wouldn't necessarily be able to go to a gift shop and find something with their name on it. I knew a Rynae (Renee), and I thought it was a pretty name.
But I can't really think of any kid that would be thankful to be named Syphilis or Shithead once s/he gets to high school and actually figures out what it is - or when the other kids find out what it is... Nevermind some of the teachers that happen to be out there.
Parents, don't be jerks. No kid deserves Gonorrhea. In any way.
That is all.
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